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... to not want my child’s (non serious) accident on TV?

(228 Posts)
CarolinePenvenen Sat 12-Aug-17 17:17:52

Some years ago we were at a family event and my then 4yo got a whack in the face from another kid during one of the party games. It was a hard whack, she had a black eye and was in a lot of pain and very distressed but it wasn’t serious.

At the time I was told that a (young) family member, let’s call him Raymond, had videoed this incident and wanted to send it to a well known tv show that shows all these mishaps for a laugh, the intention being to make a bit of money out of it. I said no. Was still cross/a bit upset about the incident and generally cheesed off about the idea. They got a bit pissed off about it but no more was said.

Now my dd is 9 and it’s come up again. Basically Raymond sent it in anyway and now they’ve said they want to use it. He’s now also offered dd half the money. I’m still not keen but have left it up to dd to decide and she has said absolutely no, she’s not bothered about the money (and she’s usually very fond of money!). She’s a worrier and a sensitive soul and hates the idea of being laughed at. Family now think we’re massive spoilsports and taking offence where there is none. I should add that I detest this show with a passion although dd has been known to watch it!

If you’ve got to the end of that, AIBU?

Grimbles Sat 12-Aug-17 17:20:34

YANBU, especially as your DD doesn't want it shown either.

Sugarcoma Sat 12-Aug-17 17:21:11

Absolutely not being U and I would get in touch with the production company and put in writing you do not consent to it being aired.

BathshebaKnickerStickers Sat 12-Aug-17 17:21:20

These programmes normally pay about £250 - £125 is quite a lot of money to a 9 year old - either to buy something big that she wants or to go ij her savings bank.

Not many people watch You've been framed - it was 5 years ago and they only play it once (they don't reply and replay and replay it to analyse it or anything)...

I doubt anyone will recognise her, and she'll like a new tablet or DS or whatever with the money....

userofthiswebsite Sat 12-Aug-17 17:21:50

If you're daughter is sure she doesn't want to (knowing she'll get half the cash) I'd just say that you'd asked her and she was definite that she didn't want it to be aired so please don't let it go ahead.

EdmundCleverClogs Sat 12-Aug-17 17:22:17

Yanbu. If your daughter doesn't want it shown, that's the end of the discussion. It's not about money, it was obvious not funny at the time (or now), and Raymond/family should respect that. It's awful they are trying to get a 9 year old a 'spoilsport' over something that was painful for her.

Zumbarunswim Sat 12-Aug-17 17:22:38

No, YANBU at all. They always say people aren't hurt but they so are-I second previous posters suggestion of telling company not only that you don't want it on tv but also your daughter was hurt. Don't understand why people watch this crap-it's not funny at all angry

Grilledaubergines Sat 12-Aug-17 17:24:26

If your DD says no, Raymond can do one. Her wishes need to be respected.

Some people will do anything for a quick buck.


DancingLedge Sat 12-Aug-17 17:24:27

YANBU X 1000

Firstly , it's up to DD and up to you, as her parent, to decide if you want her image to be used. You'd have the same right to say no, even it was something lovely, which it isn't.
Secondly, a programme which uses images of children getting hurt as something funny is just sick.
Thirdly, they're not respecting your views. Which is downright rude.

Stick to your guns.

BenLui Sat 12-Aug-17 17:24:32

YANBU and I'd do as Sugar suggests.

BeingATwatItsABingThing Sat 12-Aug-17 17:24:36

You said no, he did it anyway. YANBU to be annoyed. I'm not sure where you stand as it was his video but your child.

I feel that it doesn't matter whether you say no or not, he clearly wants the money. I would be inclined to insist upon your DD's half of the money.

Zumbarunswim Sat 12-Aug-17 17:25:11

And maybe we could come and whack Raymond in the face and film it so he can send that in instead!

dingdongdigeridoo Sat 12-Aug-17 17:25:14

Ugh no. Once they have the tape they can use it for years to come. It could still be on rotation in ten years time. Very embarrassing.

Make sure he doesn't stick it on YouTube either.

FrancisCrawford Sat 12-Aug-17 17:26:48


Your DD has been very clear and your family need to respect that

Poor wee thing, I hope she isn't worrying too much about it.

NamasteTheFuckAwayFromMe Sat 12-Aug-17 17:27:15

YANBU at all. Your daughter has the final say over what her image is used for as, well it's her image!

I speak from experience as someone who ended up on YBF unwittingly.

I had a silly accident on stage during a school play that was being filmed by a teacher when I was 15.
10 years later my sister spotted the clip on YBF. I knew nothing about it, never received a penny for it and can only assume that the teacher doing the filming submitted it.

TmiTuesdays Sat 12-Aug-17 17:27:35

I don't get these programmes at all. 'A small child got hit in the face! Instead of helping an adult just carried on filming! HAHAHAHAHA!' What bloody sadists watch this crap? Yanbu. And tell TV company direct.

WinchestersInATardis Sat 12-Aug-17 17:27:46

Gosh no. Your family members are being unreasonable. Of course, your daughter doesn't want to have a painful experience shown on TV for a laugh.
It is a good bit of money for a youngster but that's really not the point if she said no.
I second what one of the other posters has said. Contact the TV company and make it clear that your and her consent has definitely not been given for this.

WeatherDependent Sat 12-Aug-17 17:27:55

She said no, you said no and Raymond did it anyway. What was the point of him even asking?

I'd go ape shit & insist on all the money! Why should he profit when he totally went against your daughters wishes? It might focus his mind for future events as he'll have got nothing out of it other than ear ache.

BluePheasant Sat 12-Aug-17 17:27:59

YANBU. If you said no that should be the end of it. I would be hopping mad.
I would definitely contact the programme and inform them you did not give permission for him to send them the clip and that you do not want it to be shown.

Amatree Sat 12-Aug-17 17:28:14

YANBU at all. I hate those clips of poor kids falling over etc and canned laughter tracks playing over the top. How are they still making that crap?! Def put in writing to the person and the production company that you do not consent. Who cares if anyone that horrible is annoyed with you, sounds like it's no loss to your life. How sick that they are pushing this.

LorLorr2 Sat 12-Aug-17 17:32:36

To send in the clip even though you said no was such a bad move. For your DD to not want it on TV that's the final straw and you should stand your ground giving no consent. Perhaps this Raymond can film himself getting batted in the eye if he's that desperate for a laugh and some money.

DoomGloomAndKaboom Sat 12-Aug-17 17:33:37


If Raymond wants to humiliate himself and give himself a black eye, I for one entirely approve. Then he can send that in for his £250.

(I don't think your dd humiliated herself, but she's clearly uncomfortable with it and I would be too, if it was me, I would feel humiliated if my accident was broadcast on tv)

Also, I really hate when they show accidents involving children, or people scaring children. It's just cruel. Idiot adults who think it's hilarious, fine, but not children, not if they are hurt.

EezerGoode Sat 12-Aug-17 17:34:08

What a twat of a relative..I mean does he not understand the word NO

HipsterHunter Sat 12-Aug-17 17:34:33

I have You've been framed - they show videos of people having accidents that look like they really got hurt!

CarolinePenvenen Sat 12-Aug-17 17:35:59

Thanks, I’m glad it looks like I wasn’t overreacting. DD is terrified that kids in her class will see it and then tease her. And I know it’s not the big show it might have been ten years ago but it still gets sold overseas and repeated ad nauseam. Usually she’d jump at that money but it isn’t swaying her this time. And I detest that show. People falling and getting hit. Yeah, hysterical.

I have a feeling he’s going to go ahead anyway.... hmm

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