To let DS go free range?

[Thistledew]

DS has just turned one. He is not yet walking but is a very speedy and self-assured crawler/cruiser. He is an absolute bundle of energy and rarely sits still for more than a few moments. He is big for his age at about 80cm so over the 91st centile, and is physically strong.

I took him to RhymeTime at our local library. He actually sat really nicely on my lap for about 15 mins of the 30 mins session and was happy for me to help him join in the actions to the songs etc. After that, he had had enough sitting and twisted and turned on my lap until I let him get down, knowing that a squeal of protest would have followed if I had not. He then crawled around for a bit at the back of the group before making his way to the front of the group where some of the older children (all under 5) were sitting and joining in with the songs. He perfectly happily crawled amongst them and bopped along to the singing. At this point, I couldn't easily reach him as there were too many children in the way.

At one point he used one of the adults sitting on the floor to pull himself up to standing. She caught my eye and smiled and mouthed that it was ok, but another woman sat next to her gave me a disapproving glare. He did also at one point pull a few of the baby books off a shelf, but just put them on the floor so wasn't tearing them or damaging them. I put them back in the right place as soon as I had a chance.

WIBU to let him go off and explore on his own, or should I have kept him by me?

[Needsomeflapjacks]

OK to roam in designated dc area. .
Not in the rest of the library. .
Loads of babies potter around at our story time no issues. .
Buggies make a sort of barrier to keep the blighters locked in!!

[TeaCake5]

Yabu. Keep you child under control. Letting him pull books off the shelf ffs

[MiniAlphaBravo]

Sounds fine to me. I've seen people shout at their kids at those things and get really stressed if they move an inch. No idea why, its perfectly natural. Wouldn't be right if he was harming the other kids but doesn't sound like he was.

[ThursdayLastWeek]

Sounds fine to me.

If I'd tried to keep either of my DS on my lap at that age there would have been screaming galore to ruin everyone's fun.

If they'd clambered over othe kids, or grown ups though I probably would have just left.

[RaeSkywalker]

Doesn't bother me at all.

BUT I was pondering this issue earlier- I was at a similar singing group with DS (8mo, not crawling). Another baby who was much bigger than him crawled over and plonked himself literally onto DS's feet, then basically shuffled when I pulled DS's feet from under him so that he was sitting directly in front of him. I ended up feeling that I should move DS, because I had to keep stopping him from grabbing the other child's hair etc. I kept expecting the other parent to move her child, but she didn't.

Basically I'm fine with free roaming, but there is a limit.

[Thistledew]

The children's area is in a separate room to the rest of the library so he wasn't getting underfoot of the general library users.

He did at one stage grab the t-shirt of an older boy aged maybe about 3, and fortunately I was at that stage within arms reach so I could pick DS up and make sure the other boy was ok. All the younger babies were with an adult so I reasoned there was no danger of him being physical with anyone smaller than him. I do worry about him trying to use another child as a climbing frame or just grabbing them if he wants to interact, but how is he to learn what is acceptable if he doesn't get a chance to practice associating with other children?

[user1499786242]

I sit completely on the fence really
Personally my kid was exactly the same as your little boy, he wouldn't sit still!
So I didn't take him to things where they were expected to sit still...
I wouldn't get stressed if he moved books or anything but I just can't be bothered with the glares from other people etc
So I just took him to soft plays, other friends houses with babies similar age, parks, set up our play room so he could wonder freely and safely!
You're not being unreasonable, but in my opinion you're just making more effort and stress for yourself...

P.s my little boy is23 months and I still wouldn't take him to any group like that as he's just too crazy! And I wouldn't change it for the world! Such a wild spirit!
X

[PodgeBod]

I think you're fine. With my DD1 she always seemed to want to crawl and explore whilst other children sat still. I used to get really stressed and apologetic and tbh I wish I had just chilled out and let her be.

[Rollonbedtime7pm]

My DD would have behaved exactly the same and I would have let her - it's a kids session ffs!

Not U in my opinion!

[FreedomMummy]

It's a difficult one because I want to say it's fine as he's only little but then if everyones crawlers started moving around everywhere it would be chaos and the singing would deteriorate...
Also you're fortunate the library workers didn't stop him. When I took my DS to rhyme time at a similar age he started to wander and the librarian told me to get hold of him, none of the children were allowed to move off their parents laps!!!

[SJaNH]

Definitely not BU. Sounds like he had a great time exploring a little freedom in a safe environment.

[OuchBollocks]

I tried taking DD to rhyme time when she was around that age. I was sitting on the floor. Faster than I could get up she leapt up, grabbed a book off the shelves, and bolted round the back of the circle out the door thankfully the library was on a pedestrianised street. We stopped going to rhyme time.

Maybe something a little less structured until he's old enough to sit nicely?

[doobree]

I think your DS sounds adorable, and of course is just being normal for his age but maybe its not quite the thing for a sit down rhyme time as other children may find it hard to understand why they should sit and not him. I've seen chaos erupt from less!

I think I'd move him away/ distract him once he starts to get wriggly. You can still hang around for the end in to chat with other parents.

Perhaps there is a better place for him to be exploring and mobile where the other children can be allowed to interact back?

[Spudlet]

Tricky one. It is a bit of a shock to the system when they get mobile and it can catch you out, so IMO YWNBU to deal with that situation as best you could at that point in time. Mine would have been outraged at being restrained as well!

But you may now need to find new groups, more suitable for a mobile baby. We did active baby yoga, which was specifically for crawlers and small toddlers. And we went (and still go) to playgroup. In both he was welcome to roam about so it was more fun for everyone.

[AlohaMama]

My DD was similar in a music class we went to. She would never sit in my lap, and just ran around trying to put on peoples shoes. Not ideal but no one minded. In the library situation I'd say letting your LO probaby isnt ideal but I'd have been in the same situation with my DD. If it was me I'd let them do it once as a preferred alternative to screaming and causing more disruption then choose something different to go to in future. We stopper the music group and I chose groups that had more physical activity and where DD could run around.

[Thistledew]

He does seem to enjoy going- when he was on my lap he was joining in by clapping his hands at appropriate moments and even when he was off on his own he was watching the leader and bopping up and down with the singing.

[strawberrypenguin]

Fine as long he's not squashing younger children, pulling at the equipment the staff are using, doing something dangerous and you know where he is so the staff running the session don't have to suddenly bolt after him as he makes a break out the door. (I run rhymetime sessions) we don't expect the kids to sit quietly - that's the whole point of rhymetime :)

[NoCapes]

YANBU to let him crawl around at a toddler class, this is perfectly normal

YABU to use the term 'free range' though, he's not a chicken

[Moanyoldcow]

In a crowd like that I'd prefer to be within arm's reach so I'm not sure I'd say you were unreasonable, but I'd not be super happy with a crawler pulling at my unstable older toddler and being a general distraction from the songs and stories.

In fact, I remember a distinctly terrible outing when my DS who was nearly 3 and two separate crawlers got hold of him and bit him really hard. The mothers were nowhere near and I really think they should been - my son was quite hurt (bleeding and bruised).

Your DS sounds a touch young for the activity - might be better in the baby section of a softplay.

[NauticalDisaster]

YWNBU! This is actively encouraged at my local library, it is a time and place for them to learn and explore. Ours is not a quiet library, it is loud and lively. In that setting parents look out for each other's children.

[Cakeorchocolate]

NU. It's not like you were staring at your phone, gossiping with someone or busy drinking coffee. By the sounds of it you were watching every movement.
I've been in your position at groups not wanting to cause more of a distraction by constantly chasing after them and calling them, telling them to stop. I used to leave mine be while she was roaming but not bothering anyone . I intervened if she started to cause issues. DD was one of the oldest at the group and an early crawler but some others caught up and became the same. With varying degrees of intervention!

[Cakeorchocolate]

"YABU to use the term 'free range' though, he's not a chicken"

agree with this point 😀

[JackTwist]

Yabu. Keep you child under control. Letting him pull books off the shelf ffs

Something up your ass tonight?

[Supersoaryflappypigeon]

I run Rhyme times in the library I work in-this is fine, great actually. Yanbu-let him play! It's a fun session and I tend to run mine in a child-led fashion.

[Supersoaryflappypigeon]

Teacake at this time of year the books (which will almost certainly have been in the junior section as that's where RT is usually run) will be a complete mess anyway, hopefully because the library is overrun with children from the Summer Reading Challenge. Also, librarians tend to quite enjoy shelving books-it's a fairly important part of the job and quite satisfying when you get in the swing of it.