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AIBU?

Advice needed!

28 replies

Scotstar · 28/07/2017 04:44

I have always loved the name Andrew. The name means alot to me and it is whar we are calling our son who is due in September.

I however really don't want him to be called Andy although appreciate that he may get called that, by his friends when older, if he chooses to.
I don't know whether I'm being super sensitive with pregnancy hormones and anxiety issues but I'm getting really wound up by OH uncle who is already calling him Andy despite me repeatedly asking him not too, not helped by the fact that OH dad is egging him on and telling me to get over it and it's bound to happen when he's here anyway. A friends husband has said the same thing.

It's starting to make me doubt a name (which, in my opinion, is a completely normal and strong name) I've loved for as long as I remember.

AIBU to be annoyed about this?
Will I just have to put up with it? Is it a non issue that I should ignore? I think it's the lack of respect of OH and mine wishes which is bothering me more rather than name itself. Please feel free to tell me to get a grip if necessary lol.

OP posts:
IStoleDipsysHat · 28/07/2017 04:56

You cannot control what other people call your child. In fact he will himself develop a preference for what version of his name he wishes to be called by. You can, of course tell people to pack it in if they are only using the contraction you dislike to wind you up.

So, unfortunately YABU overall.

SoyUnPerdedor2 · 28/07/2017 04:58

I know several Andrews.

One goes by drew.

One goes by aj (Andrew jon)

The other one is Andrew.
Start telling people that you are calling a boy Gertrude and a girl Cyril.

Then they won't be upset by Andrew!

DesignedForLife · 28/07/2017 04:59

Not sure there is much you can do with names that have such a common short version. Just like Samuel and Jennifer. You can get people to stick to the full version but it will probably get shortened at school anyway.

MissBax · 28/07/2017 05:32

YABU - if this is already happening before the baby is here then it's bound to happen when he's actually born. Choose a name that you really don't mind the nicknames / abbreviations etc of.

araiwa · 28/07/2017 05:39

Id rather people used my bin than just chucked bin bags on the street

araiwa · 28/07/2017 05:39

Oops Grin

luckylucky24 · 28/07/2017 06:21

Ds has a name that when we picked it I hated the shortened version. Everyone kept saying it will get shortened etc and I made it very clear that I didn't want anyone shortening it unless he chose to himself.
He is almost 5 and no one has used the shortened version yet.

Stick to your guns. Be clear that you will not accept them calling him Andy and if the uncle persists, start shortening his name to something he doesn't like until he gets the picture.

TidyDancer · 28/07/2017 06:42

DP is Andrew. He goes by another name anyway (not connected to Andrew) but has never been called Andy or Drew etc. But that's because it's personal preference on his part.

I don't think your ILs should be trying to deliberately wind you up but nicknames are likely to evolve anyway and it was definitely something we considered when naming the DCs.

BikeRunSki · 28/07/2017 06:50

Stick to your guns. Don't use any abbreviations. Correct people when they do. Abbreviations at school are not inevitable- I know a 13 year old Alexander who has never been anything other than Alexander and gives you a very hard stare if you try to call him Alex/Xander/Sandy etc

Littledrummergirl · 28/07/2017 07:14

My dd1 has become very vocal about her name and will give a very hard stare to anyone who tries to shorten it. As I recall she started doing this as a toddler and has got better at standing her ground as she has got older.

There is nothing to make someone feel silly like a three year old asking very loudly "why you are using the wrong name? ".

SilverBirchTree · 28/07/2017 07:17

Just keep firmly correcting them. Unless your son prefers Andy, it's not their place to decide what call him.

Another good reason not to tell anyone the baby's name prior to the birth!

DearTeddyRobinson · 28/07/2017 07:30

DS2 has a name that can be shortened in several ways. We use the full name and no one has tried to shorten it (so far, he's only 17 months!). We introduce him as 'Andrew' and that's his name. If your in laws are going to be dicks about it, correct them Every Time.
'His name is Andrew. You are really offending us by not using his name properly '

Scotstar · 28/07/2017 09:20

Thank you for the replies so far. I'm hoping once he is here they'll stop. Uncle is a wind up merchant and tbh a bit of a dick but I'll keep on sticking to my guns. It's been a tough week emotions wise!
Thing is we don't mind Drew and, as his middle name is James, we are already sometimes abbreviating his name to aj so he's not without a nickname.
I will go and put my big girl pants on now ;)

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 28/07/2017 09:23

If you are dead against people calling him Andy then don't give him the name andrew, sorry.

indigo13 · 28/07/2017 09:39

People usually only need telling once. Stick to it

thismumismad · 28/07/2017 09:39

Yanbu. I have an Andrew he's always been Andrew to me. The Andrew he was named after was Andy. I think because he has always been called Andrew by me then that is what everyone else has called him. I sometimes call Andyroo when I'm shouting for him though.

Bluntness100 · 28/07/2017 09:49

It's quite a common name. The ones I know as Andrew, I wouldn't call Andy as it's clearly not what they go by and the ones I know called Andy, I wouldn't call Andrew. It's really about how they are introduced.

If you don't want it shortened they shouldn't shorten it, but it is a risk.

Groupie123 · 28/07/2017 11:01

All of the Andrews I know are Drews. You don't get a say in what other people call him - he'll be his own person not an extension of you. If you don't like the short forms of Andrew then pick a new name.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 28/07/2017 11:05

We know loads of Andrews, most are Andys, but some have remained Andrew. The only Drew we know isn't an Andrew!

Tbh, as Andy is such a natural shortening and popular, I'd avoid Andrew if I hated Andy. It's grate on you forever.

ReinettePompadour · 28/07/2017 11:05

I'm the same in not liking shortened names. I always use my childrens full names but at school they get called shorter versions by friends and teachers. You can't stop people shortening their names but you can make sure you always use their full names.

NannyRed · 28/07/2017 11:11

Go with the name you love. My daughter Elizabeth was born on shrove Tuesday, family members tried to nickname her Queenie and Jif (jif lemon, pancake day) we stuck to calling her Elizabeth, never anything else, the nicknames never stuck. You just have to have more perseverance than your relative, and when he refers to Andy, look blank and answer I don't know any Andy!

My daughter is still Elizabeth to me, her friends call her Bee (long story, but there was a reason), she introduces herself as Lizzie.

Scotstar · 28/07/2017 11:13

As I said, I don't hate the name Andy I just much prefer Andrew. I'm aware that when he is older he'll be able to choose want he wants to be called and that's fine but surely as a baby it's up to his parents?
Andrew is my dads name and a name I've loved since before I was adopted at a late age so it means a lot to me.
I'm just annoyed that the uncle thinks he can dictate and wind me up about it with no respect for our wishes despite being told repeatedly!

OP posts:

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twisterinyogapants · 28/07/2017 12:17

One of my children has s friend called Andrew he gets called A-dog 😂 he's at primary school. You can't choose his nick name he will find one he likes himself.

The80sweregreat · 28/07/2017 12:54

strangely enough i have an Andrew, i call him by his long name, his brother and friends call him Andy and he signs everything as Andy in cards, uni work etc etc. We knew it was going to be shortened, but we just liked the name and both versions suit him.
My dh has a common name that is shortened , but his mum always calls him by his proper name too. Unless you have a name nobody can lengthen or shorten, then it will happen i'm afraid. John is a good name as cant be shortened, but people may well then say Johnny!! bit of a minefield ( or try the baby names on here for some inspiration!)

timeisnotaline · 28/07/2017 12:56

There are Andrews who stay Andrew , but you don't get to choose that yours will be one. My mil called 4 children by names with super obvious nicknames ( think dan for daniel) and liked none of the nicknames. I think this was loony.

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