Aibu to think I've just fallen into a 1970s Jilly Cooper novel?

[Fieryfighter]

(light-hearted) fur Jilly Cooper fans really...

I'm at home desperately trying to finish some bookkeeping, not showered, greasy hair, flung on old t shirt and shorts, no make up, with no knickers and underwire poking out of my bra. I've just been trying to put some paperwork in the attic and the bastard ladder breaks and I'm trying to somehow get it to go back up in the attic. Cursing, swearing etc. There's a knock on the door.

It's this chap from Texas I've been dating for a couple of months very half heartedly as tbh I'm finding it hard to be emotionally available due to slightly being hung up on on the ex still.

There's me all flustered as I'm looking a total mess and he proceeds to fix the ladder with me simpering 'thank you so much!' and then ravish me telling me how gorgeous i am with me going 'but i look such a state!'

I feel like Janey typing 'men should not drop in' 😂😂

[Doubleaxel]

Did he roll up in an absolutely filthy mini? And where are your cats with witty literary names in all of this??

[ChasingHighs]

What he just turned up from Texas?

[BrightonBelleCat]

That's ok just splash some whiskey into some old chipped mugs and you'll get through this.

[ChasingHighs]

Or do you live n Texas? Or was it a typo and you meant Tesco?

[Fieryfighter]

He turned up in his audi sadly, he's 6'4 so a mini would be too small!

My cat Dave was looking on!

He's from Texas but lives in my town now. He actually owns a cowboy hat and boots!

[Fieryfighter]

I may have a mug of gin topped up with the tiniest dash of tonic

[Fieryfighter]

He's quite luke alderton to be frank!

[Doubleaxel]

But does his American accent slip from time to time à la Kevin Coley??

[fufulina]

Did you run into the bathroom, scrape your hair back and smudge on some mascara from an old one you found in the bathroom????

[SweetChickadee]

he sounds marvellous!

[BrightonBelleCat]

Did you trim your bush quickly and rub an old flannel over your bits and under your arm pits?

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

[fufulina]

Did you make him an omelette with herbs and get tight on Pouilly Fume?

[GladAllOver]

"Reader, I shagged him. "

[BasedOnTrueEvents]

Are you currently reclining on your bed dressed only in a dark blue towel?

[ChasingHighs]

Is his name Billy Joe?

[DramaInPyjamas]

Does he address you as Ma'am?

[MrsHathaway]

[Fieryfighter]

fufulina i hastily used my finger to brush some toothpaste on and scraped my hair into a ponytail!

[Fieryfighter]

He calls me honeybun!

We didn't shag, he's left me panting for more in a trembling state , (had to go finish a job he's working on!)

[bookworm14]

Is your hair greasy because you trimmed it with the scissors you'd used to cut bacon?

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

So annoying when Texans turn up at the door, fixing ladders and so on.

I hope you didn't inadvertently stab him with your underwire.

[Fieryfighter]

He got a cheese sandwich and monster munch... I fear I'll never be posh enough for an actual JC heroine!

[bookworm14]

When he comes back make sure you go for a walk to find some wild garlic - it's very sexy, I hear.

[Doubleaxel]

I hope you told him you have a deadline and can't see his for a while. Now you have one week to lose a stone, clean your filthy house pluck your eyebrows and make sheets fragrant. Dying at trimming hair with bacon covered scissors!!