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AIBU?

To ask how the hell you make friends?

7 replies

nannyuk · 27/07/2017 14:55

I try really hard to be sociable but I just seem to get nowhere.i joined some meet up groups and although everyone is friendly it just feels like people are being polite. I have no idea how to get close friends again. I used to have friends and then I got in a relationship very young and seemed to drift apart from my friends. It didn't help it was in the last year of school and everyone was moving on. The relationship lasted 7 years and I felt cut off from the world. I was very lonely when the relationship ended and was not confident in myself anymore. I'm now married to a wonderful man who encourages me to go out whenever I like and try and activily make friends but I don't know how to. Any help? Sorry about the long post.

OP posts:
lmer · 27/07/2017 15:43

Mush/mummysocial/peanut are good apps for meeting people 😃

Gowgirl · 27/07/2017 15:45

Local churches often run social groups

bootygirl · 27/07/2017 15:59

I think it takes a lot of time to build friendships.

I go to some women's outing through a local church. But dont meet up with any of the women I ve become close to through the church. Outside these activities. However it's a nice group & everyone makes you welcome.
I did a meditation course but again did nt make any friends outside of meetings. But both these things mean I had some where to go socially.
I hope that makes sense.
I have made 2 friends through work that I would meet up for coffee now & then outside work.

nannyuk · 27/07/2017 22:43

Thank you for posting :) I guess I just feel lonely and want to fix it.

OP posts:
Fruitcorner123 · 27/07/2017 22:47

I would say go to these more formal groups and activities to meet people. When you find someone you like invite them for coffee/a drink outside of the group. Same with work colleagues.

I have found in adulthood that friendships have taken longer to build than they did when younger. I guess when you are at school/college/uni you spend all day with these people and relationships develop quickly. It just takes longer in adulthood.

BasedOnTrueEvents · 27/07/2017 22:54

I think if you find someone you click with at a group or wherever, the you need to ask them to meet up between groups. You need to be brave if you want to move from 'pleasant acquaintance' to 'friend'. I remember having really good chats with someone at toddler group once. After a few weeks of meeting at the group, I suggested we go for coffee later in the week. Four years later, she's one of my best friends. 😀 Asking her if she wanted to meet up was quite nerve wracking at the time - a bit like asking someone out! But actually I do think finding friends is a bit like dating in that you need to put yourself out there in order to be successful.

poweredbybread · 28/07/2017 10:11

Hi Nanny if you have kids then it's as others have said but if you don't have you thought about joining a gym going to a Zumba class or a singing group. Good luck Smile

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