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AIBU?

Was this woman racist or am I thinking too much about this?

90 replies

BlondeGinger · 26/07/2017 21:42

I'm not sure if I've got the wrong end of the stick here or if a woman in my office was racist to one of my colleagues earlier.

We have access cards to get in and out of the office and my colleague was coming back from lunch at the same time as another lady (she doesn't work on our team but in another one, sometimes in our office). She has to walk past our bank of desks to get to her own and from the amount I've seen her around, she must have also seen my colleague and I at some point.

Anyway, so my colleague gestured for other lady to go through the door first after using her card to open it. Other lady then says to colleague "I'm sorry but I've never seen you before in my life, how are you able to get in here? Can I please see your ID? I'm sure you'll understand me asking you what with everything going on in the world at the moment." My colleague showed her ID and said that she recognised her from the team she works in, did she not recognise her since she walks past her every time she's in? Other lady just said "no" and walked off through the door.

For context, my colleague is a lovely Indian lady and other lady is approximately 80 and very sour faced.

My colleague came back and told me all this and it was clear that IF this woman was being racist, it had completely gone over her head, as she just thought how strange she'd been to ask since she walks past us every day and hadn't recognised her.

AIBU to think this woman was racist to my colleague with the "everything going on in the world" comment and asking for ID, even though my colleague had a pass and used it to open the door? Or am I overthinking this? Should I have a word with our manager?

Sorry for the lengthy post!

OP posts:
DrHorribletookmycherry · 26/07/2017 21:45

It's pretty vague

Scrumptiousbears · 26/07/2017 21:48

Maybe she was just being a cow. You can't call it racist from this explanation. I was asked for my ID the other day. We are always told to challenge people if we don't recognise them and the tailgate through a door.

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 26/07/2017 21:48

I don't see how it was racist.
A lot of shit is going on in the world lately so there is no harm in being cautious as most places are now.

Notknownatthisaddress · 26/07/2017 21:49

Yeah she was rude and presumptuous, and a bit racist. (IMO.)

Just coz your colleague is Asian, she assumes she is a potential terrorist!

Not sure if you would have grounds to make an official complaint though. At worst, she will just be regarded as ignorant and xenophobic.

BlondeGinger · 26/07/2017 21:51

Thanks for your opinions. I do have a tendency to over think things.
I think I just found it weird that out of all the people I've seen let her into the office, I've never seen her questioning anyone else. But then maybe I've never scrutinised her that much.

OP posts:
kali110 · 26/07/2017 21:52

'Everything going on in the world' doesn't mean she was referring to the womAn, but simply that with everything going on she needs to id people she doesnt recognise.

Storminateapot · 26/07/2017 21:55

You're overthinking it. I would interpret that as a 'you can't be too careful' comment said to someone she obviously hasn't registered as working in the office trying to get in. It was a bit officious but not racist.

Henrysmycat · 26/07/2017 21:56

She was racist and a huge massive asshole. Why did she pick her and not you since you were with her? Why was not apologetic?
You need to say something.
I didn't because I didn't wanna make a scene but they were creating a file on the racist knob in my work and it would have helped.

flumpybear · 26/07/2017 21:59

It should be fine to challenge anyone going in and out of controlled areas - I'd ask too if I didn't recognise someone
Think you're over thinking and can't see how you extrapolate racism from that - all races cause crimes, terrorism etc

Seniorcitizen1 · 26/07/2017 22:29

Mot racist - get a grip

Seniorcitizen1 · 26/07/2017 22:29

Not

MeanAger · 26/07/2017 22:32

No idea if it was racist or not but I certainly wouldn't have been showing her my ID and jumping to her demand! Who does she think she is?

Booboobooboo84 · 26/07/2017 22:33

I wouldn't call it racist tbh it's more about making sure you recognise everyone in the building. Very rude of her though. I'd be sure to be checking her ID the next time I see her...

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 26/07/2017 22:38

Henrysmycat, the OP wasn't there her colleague told her afterwards.

Does the other woman do this regularly with other people at your workplace? I'd be suspicious of racism if you know she doesn't.

But do both flash her massive smiles and give her a wave next time she goes past your desks, she won't be able to forget either of you next time Wink

BlondeGinger · 26/07/2017 22:43

No she doesn't and there's lots of times that I or others going in the door have held it open for her and never been questioned by her- that's what made me think it in the first place.
Yes think I'll check her ID next time!

OP posts:
flumplet · 26/07/2017 22:43

You're overthinking- if you don't recognise someone you need to challenge it - we're told over and over again (high profile public sector here). The woman did the right thing (could have been more polite about it) but she's right to challenge.

Zephyr01 · 26/07/2017 22:44

Possibly thinly veiled racism, similar to your (80 and very sour faced) thinly veiled ageism.

TamzinGrey · 26/07/2017 22:44

lady is approximately 80 and very sour faced Hmmm ... sour faced and old was she - definitely racist then Wink

BlondeGinger · 26/07/2017 22:45

I'd have called her sour faced no matter what her age. That's how I'd describe her. And I said approximately 80. I wasn't exaggerating. I wasn't being ageist at all!

OP posts:
BlondeGinger · 26/07/2017 22:46

Think I've definitely got the wrong end of the stick on this one. Thanks for your opinions.

OP posts:
user1497403588 · 26/07/2017 22:46

WTF? are you people saying it's racist actually serious?

''With everything going on in the world right now'' clearly meant this lady was 80 years old, shes seen and heard alot. you need to know you can trust a 'random' person coming into your work building. (even though other lady is a colleague)

She did not mean anything relating to any sort of current news or specific type of person.

WorraLiberty · 26/07/2017 22:53

I'd have called her sour faced no matter what her age. That's how I'd describe her. And I said approximately 80. I wasn't exaggerating. I wasn't being ageist at all!

So why not just say 'sour faced' then? Confused

MrsPorth · 26/07/2017 22:54

I'm not sure I agree with the majority here. I think that unconscious bias might have come into play.

Her age isn't relevant and neither is her face. I just think it's odd that the door gets held open regularly yet she's opted to challenge the brown woman now.

grandmainmypocket · 26/07/2017 22:56

I think she was just being cautious but her phrasing could have been better.
I sometimes get funny looks when I let people in but ask them who they're here to see as I don't recognise them.

ladyyyglittersparkles · 26/07/2017 22:57

It's bullshit like this that causes so much division in society. Constantly looking for something to be offended about 🙄

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