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Asked to wear a BF cover in baby and toddler music group... WWYD??

47 replies

Absofrigginlootly · 26/07/2017 21:02

Let me start by saying that this doesn't directly affect me. My DD is still BF but only morning and bedtime. We attend a weekly baby and toddler music group that is part of a USA-wide national music program (I'm in the states btw)

In my group there is one mum who often BF her baby who is I would guess about 8 months old, when he gets fussy sometimes. However, there are about 6-7 groups a week at this franchise so it could be another group member who brought this up.

Anyway, last night I received this group email:

Hello everybody....XXXXXXX here. I received an inquiry about our policy about nursing in class so I thought I'd share with everyone in case there are others with questions about our policy.
Nursing in class is welcome. Over the years our families have overwhelmingly supported nursing in class.
However, I also recognise that we serve some 100 families so there is a wide range of sensibilities in our XXXXNAME OF GROUPXXXX.
In order to both support and welcome nursing in our classroom AND respect the wide range of sensibilities in our classes, we find it works best for everyone if nursing mothers use a sheet or some such cover when nursing.
Please feel free to contact me with any questions or concerns.

I mean.... WTF?! "Best for everyone"?! Umm not if your baby is like mine and would refuse to nurse with a cover and scream and pull it off.

I spoke to the mum who often BF during class afterwards today and said did she get the email (as I noticed her baby fussing and she didn't feed him)... she said she had, and felt really awkward about feeding him and was contemplating leaving the room to do it..!!

WWYD??
I'm thinking of emailing the organisation HQ and ask if this is specific company policy or just this teacher??

(As far as I'm aware it's also against the law in this state to discriminate against BF mums)

Would you do anything else?

I don't know whether to email the teacher directly. But I'm hoping the organization will make them issue an email retraction ????

OP posts:
LaContessaDiPlump · 26/07/2017 21:05

I get the impression that the US is WAY more prudish than the UK in these matters, so you may not get far I'm afraid. Definitely ask for clarification though!!

RelaxMax · 26/07/2017 21:08

I'd email the teacher explaining why this makes it harder for breastfeeding mums to attend, and point out the relevant legislation for your state. Ask her to clarify whether this is the organisations policy or a result of a specific complaint. I suspect she'll back down pretty quickly!

TheKitchenWitch · 26/07/2017 21:08

I'd ask for clarification about what sensibilities they're talking about being offended at a baby and toddler music class and then I would tell them to fuck off. I would not continue going to a class that had such a policy. I would also complain to both the teacher and the organisation headquarters.
Ffs.

Absofrigginlootly · 26/07/2017 21:09

Yes I would say the states is generally more 'prudish' about BF... but this is a baby and toddler group!!!!??!! It's not like it's a church service or middle of the shopping mall!

OP posts:
GnusSitOnCanoes · 26/07/2017 21:11

Bloody hell - if you can't feed without a cover in a baby and toddler group, where can you?! I would ask for clarification - and also ask why the sight of a mother nursing her child is deemed offensive enough to require a cover. If you're legally protected - I don't know the law in the U.S. - I'd ignore and carry on as usual.

Bamboofordinneragain · 26/07/2017 21:12

Trump is probably behind this - SAD!
Seriously, though, what are these people thinking?

Hmmalittlefishy · 26/07/2017 21:13

I would email the class teacher first and give her the chance to change her mind. Does the US have the same requirements about protecting breastfeeding mothers?
I would say I would be more uncomfortable about a woman being made to confer up when she has done nothing wrong and it would make me want to leave the group

newtlover · 26/07/2017 21:14

I would reply saying your sensibilities are offended by this discriminatory and (if you are sure about this) illegal policy and as a result you will not be attending unless it is changed, and I'd copy in any group members who you have details for, as well as the national organisers if relevant.

Hmmalittlefishy · 26/07/2017 21:15

I may he tempted to send this!

Asked to wear a BF cover in baby and toddler music group... WWYD??
Absofrigginlootly · 26/07/2017 21:17

Hmm that picture is genius Grin

OP posts:
LivininaBox · 26/07/2017 21:18

Surely it would be more practical to provide an eye cover for anyone whose sensibilities are offended?

InDubiousBattle · 26/07/2017 21:19

Which state are you in op? I would definitely e mail the teacher. I simply can not imagine this happening in the uk!

RibenaMonsoon · 26/07/2017 21:21

Or this..

Asked to wear a BF cover in baby and toddler music group... WWYD??
DartmoorDoughnut · 26/07/2017 21:21

That's ridiculous!

DancingLedge · 26/07/2017 21:21

This is awful.
Please respond to let this group know that this email is really not OK.

StripySocks1 · 26/07/2017 21:22

I'd email back and say "it doesn't work best for me to use a cover, people can be offended by all sorts of things that other people wouldn't bat an eyelid at so consequently no one has the right to not be offended" then make a very public display of feeding in the next class, whether your child wants to feed or not!

But then I'm an awkward beggar and like to assert my rights!

AntiHop · 26/07/2017 21:24

This is crazy. It's totally inappropriate to expect mums to cover up in a baby class. Many babies and toddlers refuse to feed under a cover.

Cavender · 26/07/2017 21:28

"Best for everyone" but not best for the baby. Sad

I would leave the group and publicly explain why. And yes, I'd complain to HQ.

I live in Texas, and women breast feed openly in our church services - without a cover.

poweredbybread · 26/07/2017 21:39

Ffs ! That's ridiculous. Everyone should get their boobs out at the same time. They can't make you all leave!

Cailleach666 · 26/07/2017 21:43

Incredible.

Here it is a criminal offence to stop a woman breastfeeding or ask her to cover up in public.
The police could arrest and charge someone for impeding breastfeeding.

Penfold007 · 26/07/2017 21:43

You live in Trump Land so, sadly, this is his normal.

TeslasDeathRay · 26/07/2017 21:50

I would ask if they eat with a sheet over their head. If not, why should a baby? Hmm

Or get one of these hats.

Asked to wear a BF cover in baby and toddler music group... WWYD??

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ChasedByBees · 26/07/2017 21:52

I would absolutely complain very loudly about this. How unwelcoming for new mothers.

Soupygirl · 26/07/2017 21:53

I have to admit that I always feel uncomfortable around breast feeding mothers. But before I get flamed, I recognise this is my issue No one else's (I would never transfer my inner feelings of discomfort onto a mum).

On reflection, I think if I had grown up around nursing mums, I don't think I would feel the same - I would have thought that a baby group should be a great place for nursing & allow others to understand and accept that it's perfectly normal and human to feed another little human.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 26/07/2017 21:55

Wow.

I'd share the message on social media. See how many sensibilities are offended and how "accommodating" the organization can be.

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