Hi all,
My DH and I have been married for 2 years and we have 3 DS who are from my previous marriage. Aged 16, 10 and 7. My DH is studying abroad and lives away most of the time and I work in a high pressure job that involves travelling. I have to get 3 children to 3 different schools by 7:15 every morning and often don't get home until 1900 at night when my priority is getting kids fed, washed and to bed. I am constantly exhausted. I also have a part time job at weekends to keep us afloat money wise.
I'll start by saying my DH is absolutely committed to our children. I don't doubt that for a minute, he spends any spare time with them encouraging them etc.
DH has often commented on my children's behaviour. He seems to think that they are very poorly behaved. I just think they are normal kids with the exception of DS 3 who can be a handful.
I told him he should look up normal kids behaviour and then we could talk about it. This morning, the two youngest kids were dressed but neither had brushed their teeth or washed; nor had they made their beds. DH decided to inform me that he has been looking into kids like I told him to and he has read (apparently on numerous pages) that our kids are developmentally behind. Which straight away got my back up. Our kids are pretty much just normal kids as far as I can see.
Apparently DS2 who's 10, should by now, get up himself (which he does) get dressed himself (which he does), go and wash his teeth without being told (never happens) and make his bed. Plus put all his clothes away without being asked (which he does after being told). And DS 3 who's 7 should only need telling to do all that and then should do it.
I got annoyed right away. He's saying the kids are developmentally behind because they need telling and nagging to do chores?! They are all bright and intelligent, and maybe if I didn't have such a short window of time to spend with them each day I'd care more about nagging until they did all these things without asking; but frankly, I'm more interested in actually getting them to school; and getting to work. To me, it's more important to know that they are able to do it than that they go and do it without me asking.
I feel like he's attacking me and my parenting when I think that most people would struggle to do less than I do. It's alright for him to judge when he's 1600 miles away and I'm doing it all on my own. My house is spotless; I earn; my kids are polite and well mannered.
AIBU? Should I be worried?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
To think DH expects too much?
73 replies
mistreyus · 26/07/2017 09:58
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.