To be annoyed at this male member of staff in the female toilet

[witchofzog]

Part of me thinks I am and part of me is still annoyed. I don't go for a number two very often. Although I have tried different things and got slightly better lately, it is still maybe every 3-4 days. I nearly always try to go at home.

Today on the train I needed to go and knew I wouldnt be able to even wait until I got to work, never mind until I get home. So I head to the quieter toilets at the large station I commute into. Usually if I use them I am the often the only one in there. But today there were a couple of ladies waiting for 3 cubicles.

Finally it's my turn and there is no one else behind me. Although I was desperate I was also a bit constipated so I wasn't sure how long it would take. Literally 1 minute later I hear a male voice. He tells a woman coming out of another cubicle that he is there to replenish the toilet roll. And he just waits and waits. Then he starts spraying air freshener and chunters to himself that he is only waiting now for the person in my cubicle. And still he waits.

I need to go but am feeling really uncomfortable now and under pressure to be quick. But how can I be with a bloody evesdropping man? So I manage half my business and leave the cubicle to a glaring man and now I am enroute to a customer visit feeling slightly better but still uncomfortable.

I get that his job is probably not particularly pleasant and that he wanted to get the toilets done. But really? Did he have to hover and make it so obvious he wanted me out?

[StealthPolarBear]

No that's awful :(

[Silverthorn]

YANBU. What an arse.

[MyKingdomForBrie]

Don't think gender is relevant in this instance, man or woman it was bloody awful to hang around and wait for you to come out! It was pretty obvious that you weren't having a quick wee.

[PinkHeart5911]

He was doing his job, I doubt very much he was eve dropping to hear you poo tbh.

It wouldn't of worried me, I am an adult we all poo of he's cleaning toilets like he doesn't hear all kinds of noise anyway. So adult up do what you need to do, wash you hands and leave

[Sirzy]

I don't get why his gender is relevant?

[MrsJayy]

He could have gone and come back he didn't need to make a bloody show of it you do get male members of staff cleaning female toilets but jeez that was insensitive I think you should complain some serious staff retraining needed.

[Spuddington]

Gender isn't relevant.

[witchofzog]

The gender question is an interesting one because I did question that as I typed this. I guess it was more to do with the fact that it was clear that he wasn't leaving until I was done and was going to wait outside the door for me to finish. I would probably have felt the same had it been a female cleaner.

I am ok with other people being in the vicinity. Just not feeling under pressure to hurry I guess

[Zephyr01]

Many a man has been stood at a urinal when a cleaning woman enters with a mop. I've even had one ask me to move my foot so as she could do that spot.

[MrsJayy]

You were not finished he should have left you felt embaressed (sp) and anxious and exposed which is understandable I would have been too

[ColossalKalamari]

The cleaners at my work do this, they'd wait outside forever I reckon

[PenelopeFlintstone]

Of course the gender's relevant! We're more uncomfortable with men in the toilets because we're not used to them being in there! So obvious but let's all pretend it's not

[MrsJayy]

You are probably right penelope it was intimidating to have a man outside the door poor Op just wanted to poo in peace there was no need for him to wait to replenish toilet roll common decency and manners should have to
D him to come back.

[VestalVirgin]

A woman wouldn't have had to make a big declaration about being there to replenish the loo roll, she'd just have waited until OP was done, because women do not have to explain why they are in the ladies'.

So, yes, sex matters.

[SapphireStrange]

I agree his gender is irrelevant.

I'd contact his company though. He needs some further training or something. I used to clean offices, including their loos, and was taught that if someone is in there you quietly leave the room and go and do something else until it's vacant.

[Justaboy]

Shit as they say - happens, but not as quick as we may want it to pass;(.

[SpongeBobJudgeyPants]

Our local toilets have a notice saying there may be a male cleaner. That's fine, but in the absence of being told otherwise, I expect them to be female. Historically, certainly Oop North, they have been.

[MerchantofVenice]

YADNBU. I would have been horrified. I can't poo at the best of times, let alone if someone is waiting.

Love the MN response of 'further training" though! That often seems to come up, when all that is needed really is don't be an arsehole.

[Firstimefreaked]

I don't think the main issue would be gender there is no reason why they couldn't announce they were going to start cleaning soon set a sign outside wait there or w/e. But on the issue of gender it could it make people uncomfortable but if your religion or background it could be that you couldn't have contact with men or needed to adjust your headscarf which could be the case with Muslims Jews and certain Catholics. To top it off he was just rude!

[VestalVirgin]

Love the MN response of 'further training" though! That often seems to come up, when all that is needed really is don't be an arsehole.

One might think that if his parents didn't manage to teach him that, it is not terribly likely the further training will have much of an effect ...

Also, and this is also why sex is relevant, why the fuck didn't he just leave and come back later? I would get some creepy dude vibes from his desire to stick around. Loos are not a nice place to wait, and surely, he could have gone out of the whole toilet space and waited outside the door until you come out - IF his employer requires him to do things in exact order. Normally, surely he could have busied himself in a different way meanwhile.

Female cleaners mopping the floor while you are inside the loo are sure annoying, but they are doing something.

This guy apparently just stood there, waiting. Which is not the sensible way of doing things; you'd think that a professional cleaner, loo roll changer, whatever, would find something else to do in the meantime.

[RhodaBorrocks]

I have IBS and in your situation I have previously called out to the cleaner (of either sex) that I'll be a while and perhaps they could do something else in the meantime?

Although he sounds like such a dick he may have replied that he had nothing else to do and stayed there.

Hope you can find somewhere to go in peace OP, it's never nice when you get that feeling and you know you must find a toilet 'right now' because you're finally ready to go.

[lottiegarbanzo]

In your position I'd have called out 'I'm going to be a while longer, perhaps you could come back in a few minutes?'.

There's really no answer to that other than to leave.

[lottiegarbanzo]

In your position I'd have called out 'I'm going to be a while longer, perhaps you could come back in a few minutes?'.

There's really no answer to that other than to leave.

[MyPatronusIsAUnicorn]

His gender is irrelevant as that doesn't even make sense. His sex is relevant though. I'd feel more uncomfortable with a male stood outside waiting than a female.

[HipsterHunter]

Get a grip.

Is he a mind reader? how was he to know you wanted a long shit in peace.

Next time just call out "i'm going to be a little while i'm afraid, please can you come back in a bit?"