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AIBU?

AIBU to ask Wtf Is 'Child Led'?

193 replies

JustDanceAddict · 24/07/2017 09:21

Seeing this a lot lately - what does it actually entail.
If my DCs didn't want to get up for school cos they're tired, is it child-led to keep them off school?
Mine know unless they are illthey are going in, as I have to go to work when tired, etc.

I will listen to my kids' reasons to do x,y or z but if I don't agree they will not be doing it.

I have let DD (15) off a couple of optional things and have regretted it as in the end it wasn't right in the circumstances that she didn't attend.

Surely it's all about compromise, but some things: school, family events, etc. are non-negotiable (barring mental health issues around school before I get flamed).

OP posts:
formerbabe · 24/07/2017 09:22

It means you're a much better parent than anyone else Wink

DesignedForLife · 24/07/2017 09:23

What former said.

ACubed · 24/07/2017 09:23

To me (Nursery practitioner) it just means let the children lead the play - so if you're trying to play Matching Pairs and they'd rather turn then all over and name the pictures, just go with it. And following their interests.
Bit I don't have a child in school, so I don't know what context it's used in with older children.

Pengggwn · 24/07/2017 09:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

formerbabe · 24/07/2017 09:25

it just means let the children lead the play - so if you're trying to play Matching Pairs and they'd rather turn then all over and name the pictures, just go with it

Oh I do this with my DC.

I think when people describe their parenting as child led though it's more all encompassing.

GreenTulips · 24/07/2017 09:26

It's suppose to be 'child led learning'

In that if they are interested in painting - go with it - if they are keen on cricket - let them crack on -

Educationally it's 'when they are ready' so it make take a while to be interested in maths - don't push it because they could switch off and be worse for it

However some people seem to think that 'child led' can be used for anything in that 'little darling doesn't want to wear school uniform but she would wear a swimsuit instead - yes this really happened)

Gileswithachainsaw · 24/07/2017 09:26

It's something invented by yet another person trying to sell a book no doubt.

There are times you listen and don't push your child and there are times they have to do as they are sodding told.

Child led to me is probably the excuse used by those who let their kids run riot around restraunts or push in on bouncy castle queues

Daffydil · 24/07/2017 09:26

It makes more sense for younger children than older ones, and to me it means the same as path of least resistance parenting and pick your battles parenting.

Justhadmyhaircut · 24/07/2017 09:27

Wish I had thought of this when my ds refused school.
Sorry school board. .
We do child led and he decided he isn't going.
Oh that's fine Mrs Haircut, no problem at all. .

MrsJayy · 24/07/2017 09:30

Letting your child off school because they don't feel like it isn't "child led" listening to why the child doesn't want to go to school and trying to look into any problems while getting them to school is "child led" most parents do the latter

ACubed · 24/07/2017 09:32

Ah I think I've missed something here, I've only ever heard it relating to work practice!

RaspberryRuffless · 24/07/2017 09:32

My son is home educated and for the most part, he chooses topics he wants to learn about. Or he'll chose what particular subjects he wants to do that day.

DrHorribletookmycherry · 24/07/2017 09:41

It's a phrase from an approach to childCARE and education where people are mistaken to apply it to parenting is to make the mistake as to pigeonhole their behaviours. Whack a label on it and somehow believe they've researched and are therefore parentier than thou. Also applying it to all situations. Crazy shot parenting there. It's not an approach you take on a zip line is it? Child wants to undo it. Lets do that and explore gravity!
One size does not fit all and quite a lot of the time parents are required to be parents to ensure children are not at significant risk. I use child led chunks of time. It is not a parenting "approach" though. Just part of interacting with children.

Pengggwn · 24/07/2017 09:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsJayy · 24/07/2017 09:46

I agree I don't think it is or should be a "parenting style"

Sparkletastic · 24/07/2017 09:57

TAT
Poor form OP

GreenTulips · 24/07/2017 10:06

I don't home Ed!!! It's a phrase used in schools to suggest they approach education in a 'child led' environment

So for example 70's school was much teacher taught kids listened - we chanted times tables - we did spelling test -

Now we do topics and creative role play - make videos to 'show our learning' do presentations and slide shows - bring in trophies and reward effort not grades -

So example of DS homework on A Hero -

Could be a letter - leaflet - poster - slide show - film -

They chose how to show what they learnt rather than a set example

Hope that makes sence?

MrsHathaway · 24/07/2017 10:06

parentier than thou

That's a fantastic phrase and I know exactly what you're getting at.

I quite like "child led" as a philosophy but agree it's a predominantly EYFS thing. At school it tends to be more like "if they're all going to bring in their bastard fidget spinners then let's see if we can find a worksheet that marries the fuckers with one of our curriculum topics, like, erm, oooh rotational symmetry!"

Olympiathequeen · 24/07/2017 10:06

It means the child leads their learning g and experiences (within reason) it doesn't mean they can choose not to go to school.

I've never heard this before, surely people don't let their children stay off school without a genuine reason?

chloesmumtoo · 24/07/2017 10:06

Yes child led is one of the different types of play as far as I know. Dd has been learning about it in childcare this year at school.

GreenTulips · 24/07/2017 10:09

And to add - parents assume topics are all about facts - they aren't

So let say it's Victorians and DS has to write about 'a day in the life of a victorian' they may well know all about work houses poverty etc

BUT the teacher isn't looking for capital letters full stops a build up and twist and good start and endings - are they writing in the first person - are the fact relevant (for example did they start writing about rocket ships or dinosaurs half way through?)

MrsJayy · 24/07/2017 10:09

Bastard fidget spinners made me Grin

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GreenTulips · 24/07/2017 10:10

Sorry so the child led part is the topic - not the outcome - they get to chose the topics

Eleventybillionfucks · 24/07/2017 10:13

It means letting your child be the parent instead of you. Unless it's in a play context in which case let their imagination run wild which is how children usually play anyway

Scaredycat3000 · 24/07/2017 10:13

What a nasty sneering thread, full of ignorance and assumptions. I listen to my dc, they don't dictate life though. I didn't do controlled crying with my dc, it's not my style, I don't go round saying all controlled crying is done by parents that care more about themselves than their dc and risk their dcs health by doing so because they find their dc an inconvenience, because blatantly that would be an assumed lie. Just like most of the comments on here about child led, just means I don't ignore my dc's feelings, needs and opinions completely, like most parents.

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