Tricky kids...how do you manage them?

[MrsOverTheRoad]

DD's mate is lovely but what I'd call "a bit tricky".

They're both 9 and when she stays over here (quite often) she will be a bit dramatic about some things in order to try to get her own way.

So...it's midnight here...and they're in bed...then they come into the sitting room and with very big eyes DD says "Can we put the light on? The night light is hurting X's eyes"

X meanwhile is looking very tragic next to DD...and goes on to explain that the nightlight is too bright...and hurts her eyes and she "needs" the main light on.

Bollocks I think...you do not! So I refuse and send them back.

Isolated this isn't a big deal but this child is always plotting up stuff like this...I know it's her as I hear her...and none of the plots have my DD's trademarks on them!

How do you manage kids like this? At home she's very manipulative...less so here...but she can basically cry and sob to get her own way even though she's way to old for that.

She's lovely as I say but very demanding...thinks nothing of asking for quite elabourate breakfasts...something DD would never do in someone else;s house...and when I say "No, sorry...I dont' have time to make you a stack of pancakes and bacon...it's cereal and toast and fruit" she will go all big eyed and refuse what's on offer...then eat it when she thinks I'm, not looking!

[honeylulu]

I think you're handling it just fine.
I'm not a panderer either. I'm polite and pleasant to guests but it's "like it or lump it" if unreasonable demands are involved!

[NancyDonahue]

Yes stick to your guns and don't pander to her or you'll be dreading her visits. She'll soon get the message.

[MrsOverTheRoad]

Yes...she really is a great kid apart from these habits...she and DD love one another!

[comedycentral]

I have kids round quite often and some of them really try their luck! I never pander, I confront bad behaviour and tell their parents when I really need too. They still want to come all the time!

[Oblomov17]

I don't have difficult kids for tea. All of ds1's and ds2's friends have always been a pleasure.
If they weren't, I wouldn't have them again.

[Glumglowworm]

Continue to not pander to it. If the night light hurts her eyes she can face away from it and close her eyes and go to sleep

[MrsOverTheRoad]

Glum the point is that it can't be hurting her eyes if she's asking for the main light on!

[sailorcherries]

I don't pander to it, whether my own child, one I work with or someone else's child in my home.
You don't like those crisps, only the big sharing bag? No, you'll not have the big bag and only eat some, you'll have what's been offered or nothing.
You want to stay for dinner but have declined everything I've suggested cooking? Go home.

My DS doesn't get away with it, other children don't.
The only time I've relented is clothing and DS. When he was younger, up to age 4ish, I'd make him wear jeans/chinos but now he vehemently refuses as they aren't comfy. We spent about a year arguing every time he needed new clothes but in the end he only has cotton joggies plus denim type joggie feel bottoms (idk what they are).