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AIBU?

to be pissed off ds gets sent to headmaster (for bringing in toy) because someone stole off him

75 replies

hoover · 20/07/2017 19:17

Yesterday ds (10) took toy into school (I know he shouldn't, hopefully he'll now learn...) Complicated by the fact I work in same school.

several kids have this toy and playing at break. so he takes his in to join in. During sport, he puts it down on the side. Teacher sees it (but doesn't take it or tell him to put it away, or tell him off for having it), next thing is, it's gone.

A few kids say they spotted another boy from the class take it. This boy is later frantically trying to hide his sports bag. Teacher calls him into class, and lo and behold, the toy is in the other boy's bag. He admits he took it.

So, today, my ds gets sent to the headmaster's office and is spoken to about breaking the rules taking things into school. and he has to write out a punishment card, which goes on his file where he has to write he has broken the rule about taking stuff into school. I have to sign it.

Thing is, several kids have this toy, even today. The only difference bwn them and my ds is that my ds was stolen from. AIBU to be annoyed it feels like he is in effect being punished for being targeted and stolen from? None of the other kids have been punished, in fact, they were all playing with the same toy in school today, day after the theft.

Do I swallow it, as he was in the wrong by taking the toy to school, or do I speak to his class teacher for sending him to the head, or do I speak to the head, as he spoke to him??

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 20/07/2017 19:20

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Sparklingbrook · 20/07/2017 19:21

That seems a bit harsh to punish your son when others take the same toy in. Has there been any punishment for the toy thief?

I would speak to the Head.

Floggingmolly · 20/07/2017 19:21

He was in the wrong taking it into school. He was found out because it was nicked. Tough.
Is it a fidget spinner??

Pengggwn · 20/07/2017 19:21

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BlessYourCottonSocks · 20/07/2017 19:21

You work in the school. Shrug and suck it up. It hardly sounds like a big deal and you'll look a tit if you complain 'all the other kids are doing it'.

hoover · 20/07/2017 19:21

ok. But the majority of kids take stuff in that they shouldn't and are just told to stick it in their bags. You don't think being sent to the headmaster for having a toy is ott? He got sent because he got stolen from

OP posts:
DuncanDonut · 20/07/2017 19:21

Fidget spinner?

I'd say swallow it too, and repeat the mantra "well it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't taken it in". I'd probably confiscate it for a few days too.

TeenAndTween · 20/07/2017 19:22

Swallow it.
But mildy mention that application of the rules should be consistent.

Sparklingbrook · 20/07/2017 19:23

I think it's OTT to single out one child. The school should speak to all the children that take these toys in and they should all be punished if anything.

caffeinestream · 20/07/2017 19:23

Your son should be told off - he broke the rules in the first place. BUT the other boys who have toys in school should be told off as well.

I would ask that the headmaster treats all the boys the same - either they all get punished, or none of them get punished. But it can't be one rule for your son, and one rule for the others.

MissionItsPossible · 20/07/2017 19:24

Well, it's an unfortunate situation but if it's against the rules to bring toys in and he did (and highlighted that he did because it got stolen from him and therefore the teacher was made aware). I wouldn't speak to the teacher concerned because they were effectively doing the right thing and anyway, even if they apologise or admit they know that everyone else was playing with the toys too, they still can't overrule the head or make them drop it. If you want to talk to anyone, talk to the head, though, short of telling tales on the other children, I'm not sure you have a leg to stand on as even you admit that he shouldn't have done it.

Pengggwn · 20/07/2017 19:24

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Storminateapot · 20/07/2017 19:26

I'd speak up. This is unfair and the whole 'life isn't fair' thing doesn't wash when it's a blatant injustice wielded by someone in a position of absolute authority against someone who is powerless.

OK give him a warning on this occasion, tell everyone in assembly that the toy is not allowed in school & if he takes it in again then put the note on file. That's fair.

ShesABloodyLoon · 20/07/2017 19:30

I'm often a bit harsh on my kids. "Well what did you expect?!" Or "Well you were warned!" Are in my daily vocabulary. However, I think I would politely decline signing the slip until there is equality in this rule. If your kids gets something on his personal record yet the other children are left alone then no, it's unfair. Make the head aware that singling out your son is unacceptable. Punishing the thief? Sure. Banned item or not, theft is theft.

gamerwidow · 20/07/2017 19:31

It's a shame he was the one who was caught but if you know the rules and choose to break them then you have to accept the punishment.

TrinityTaylor · 20/07/2017 19:32

The other boy should be in more trouble, sticky fingers

TeenAndTween · 20/07/2017 19:33

The teacher is able to turn a blind eye until there is trouble.
By leaving it unattended and able to be stolen he has caused an issue which the teacher could not turn a blind eye to any longer.

hoover · 20/07/2017 19:38

maybe if the teacher didn't turn a blind eye, it wouldn't have been stolen in the first place? You know the rules hoover boy, put it away and don't get it out again or I'll take it. I hear that on a daily basis in the corridor with a multitude of other things, fidget spinners, football cards, pokemon etc etc

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 20/07/2017 19:39

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TrinityTaylor · 20/07/2017 19:40

Why is the thieving one getting away with it? Are they perhaps being harsher on your son so no one thinks he is being treated favourably for having a mum working there?

MaisyPops · 20/07/2017 19:41

If I remove anything from a student and they say 'but so and so...' my reply is 'so and so might have one, but I've not seen it. I have seen yours'. Rest assured if I saw so and so we something they shouldn't then that would equally be confiscated.

If he hadn't taken a banned item into school then none of this would have happened. Actions have consequences.

I hate it when pupils who are in trouble reply 'I was just... but it wasn't just me talking, but it wasn't just me being silly, but so and so also has a banned item.' They get the reply 'can you control if somebody else follows the rules? No. so focus on controlling yourself and following the rules'

honeyroar · 20/07/2017 19:41

If he'd taken the toy in and discreetly played with it at break and put it away, perhaps I'd have more sympathy, but he left it out on show, it caused a disruption when it got stolen, so he deserves some comeback. Teachers shouldn't have to keep looking out for banned toys and telling children to put them away. So yes he deserves some flack (as does the thief), but as people mentioned you should point out it should be the same for everyone (they ought to just confiscate them all!)

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Pengggwn · 20/07/2017 19:41

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Fairenuff · 20/07/2017 19:44

If you work in the school why don't you send the other children with the same toy to the head teacher?

pigeondujour · 20/07/2017 19:47

Surely the risk of things like this happening are partly why these things are banned.

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