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AIBU?

Do you ever wish you had someone else's child?

37 replies

kittapie · 20/07/2017 18:51

My mother said to me that she wishes she does. She says I'm not normal because I'm not loud and extroverted.

I just feel sad.

OP posts:
Justhadmyhaircut · 20/07/2017 18:53

My dm used to remind she was supposed to move away to start a new job but got stuck with me instead. .
Having a nice dm is a nice idea in theory. .
Nc for 17 years. .
Life is much better.

CrowOnTheBroom · 20/07/2017 18:54

Flowers That's a very hurtful thing to say, even if she meant it lightheartedly. Didn't want to read and run.
That's a lot more to life than being loud and extroverted and I'm sure you're lovely just as you are.

Squirmy65ghyg · 20/07/2017 18:54

Wtf! No!! That's very mean of her. Poor you OP. She's talking out her arse. I love my son so much, I can't understand the rationale behind telling you this other than to be horrid.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 20/07/2017 18:56

That is a horrible thing for her to say. Flowers

There is absolutely nothing wrong with not being loud or extroverted. I'm sorry your mum doesn't appreciate you for who you are, but it says more about her than it does about you.

She is the one with the problem. Who says that to their own child? Sad

krustykittens · 20/07/2017 18:56

That is a vile thing for her to say to you, OP. Don't feel sad, this says a lot about your mother and nothing about you. x

DancingLedge · 20/07/2017 18:57

That's such awful thing to say. So unkind. I really feel for you. Flowers

Each of us is born to be the unique individual that we are.
It's not a competition, where we have to try to match up to some fantasy of what a "perfect" or "successful" or "popular" person is.

Each parent is lent the precious gift of a child. If they're too stupid to appreciate the gift that you are, well, their loss.

It's fine to be an introvert. Or an extrovert. We are who we are.

FrogFairy · 20/07/2017 19:09

No I don't want someone else's child.

But I wish I had a better relationship with my own child.

RiverTam · 20/07/2017 19:10

What a dreadful thing to say to your child. She sounds very shallow and ignorant.

Generally, I am very relieved I don't have anyone else's child - except when it comes to food. Then I often wish it!

DeadGood · 20/07/2017 19:23

She wanted a "loud" child? She considers loudness and extroversion desirable traits?

How embarrassing for her. Flowers

AnonymousAdopter · 20/07/2017 19:24

I do. Grin

Seriously, what an awful thing for your DM to say!

OuchBollocks · 20/07/2017 19:26

I imagine that sometimes you wish you had someone else's mother OP. Because other people's mothers don't say unnecessary hurtful insulting things to their children. Sorry your mum is a dickhead.

And in answer to your question, no I don't. I have a child with significant speech and communication problems and I love her to bits, I wouldn't change her for the world but I would change the world for her if I could.

Sparklingbrook · 20/07/2017 19:30

What was the context of the conversation?

Lizzylou · 20/07/2017 19:37

That is a vile thing for her to say to you, OP. Don't feel sad, this says a lot about your mother and nothing about you.
^ This, completely.

Do I wish that they would tidy up after themselves? yes. Listen to me? yes. I would never wish to replace either of my children because of their personalities. They put up with my personality and failings like I put up with theirs, it's what makes us "us".

Oh Op, I don't doubt that you are hurt but this isn't a loving Mother's response to a child. You deserve so much better.

kittapie · 20/07/2017 19:37

Sparklingbrook I wasn't smiley enough at a big social event. I have anxiety. I'm 22.

OP posts:
Jupitar · 20/07/2017 19:39

I'd reply with and I wish I had a different mother who was tactful and loving but hey here we are 🙄

Sparklingbrook · 20/07/2017 19:50

That's horrible. YY to saying you wish you had an understanding mother who was a bit more supportive.

OuchBollocks · 20/07/2017 19:51

I wonder if your hurtful unkind mother and your anxiety are related somehow.

RiversInADream · 20/07/2017 20:08

OP, it's taken me until I'm 30 to accept my mother is emotionally abusive - don't let it take you that long please!
You deserve better!!!!

RiversInADream · 20/07/2017 20:09

OuchBollocks yes, this is true for me! Anxiety was very much provoked and driven by horrible mother. Counselling helped me A LOT!!!!

Pollypudding · 20/07/2017 20:14

It is normal to be quiet and normal to be loud. A loving mother should get to know her own children and appreciate them for who THEY are.Flowers

Pollypudding · 20/07/2017 20:16

I have one of each btw and both lovely!

MissionItsPossible · 20/07/2017 20:16

She is an absolute bitch to say that to you. Sorry if that's harsh because it's your mother OP but I think she is. That's an appalling thing to say. I hope you aren't too affected by it. Flowers Please look into counselling for yourself and distance yourself far away from that thing (again, sorry, but I'm angry on your behalf) as possible.

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Bluntness100 · 20/07/2017 20:18

Wow. I can see why you have anxiety. What a horrid thing to say. The issue is her. Not you. You know that right?

kelwilso0406 · 20/07/2017 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

normastits5 · 20/07/2017 20:35

Poor you op having such a nasty DM. Rest assured there is nothing wrong with your personality and everything wrong with hers. The world is not just for extroverts it's for all of us to share and find our place. Pity her and love yourself op

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