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AIBU?

Is it UR to work 4 days a week?

25 replies

early30smum · 20/07/2017 17:34

I have 2 DC who are 8 and 4, the youngest will go to Reception in September. I have been working 5 days a week, term time only, which means I have never been able to do drop off at school/nursery although I finish work early on 3 days out of 5, so I do pick up on those days.

From September I am dropping to 4 days a week, term time only. This means I will be able to do school drop off once a week and pick up 3 times a week. I am really happy about having a day (well, 6 hrs!) to myself, it will mostly be used to catch up on housework, admin, maybe see friends, go into town and do the odd thing for me. It also means I will be able to be in the playground one day a week at drop off which is a big deal at our school. I will work really long hours 2 days a week.

But now I'm beginning to wonder if it's selfish to have 1 day off a week as obviously it will mean a bit of a drop in salary. DH has a good job but we are not in the position of being able to not worry about money... I don't really know what my AIBU is but I'm feeling a bit guilty!

OP posts:
VeryButchyRestingFace · 20/07/2017 17:37

Presumably you discussed this with your husband and he was supportive?

And also, you had reasons for dropping to 4 days?

StumpyScot92 · 20/07/2017 17:37

I am due my first DC in December this year, we have agreed when I go back to work I will work 30 hours over 3 days instead of 40 hours over 4. So essentially I will take just over a one day hit in wages a week but get two days off. I don't feel selfish as it saves us having to put the baby in to childcare as we have other arrangements for the remaining 3 days. Also I earn less than my DP, which is why it makes sense for me to be the one to cut hours rather than him.

Do whats right for you and your family at the end of the day :)

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 20/07/2017 17:54

So long as you pick up the housework/chores slack, seeing as your DH is picking up the financial slack.

early30smum · 20/07/2017 18:03

Yes I discussed it with DH and yes he was supportive. Yes I do have my reasons.

Stilldrivingmebonkers- actually, even when I was working 5 days I did pretty much all the housework and chores... and actually me dropping a day will have a benefit for DH as we can cut down on using breakfast club one day a week which costs money, also I've rearranged my days and hours the oth 4 days so that he can do his job better which is what he wanted. I'll still be working as hard as him if not harder as I'll also wrk from home in the evenings and will also have to do all childcare on my 2 shorter days and in fact he won't have to do anything even on my longer days as we'll have a nanny or they'll go to after school club...I'm not sure I agree with you that I should have to pick up everything household wise just because I'm doing 1 less day than him? As it is, I sort out ALL household admin, school stuff, cooking, housework, bills etc...

OP posts:
early30smum · 20/07/2017 18:03

Sorry for the typos- on a phone.

OP posts:
CycleHire · 20/07/2017 18:05

'So long as you pick up the housework/chores slack, seeing as your DH is picking up the financial slack.'

Surely that's a matter for them. I work 4 days a week and we have a cleaner.

Notknownatthisaddress · 20/07/2017 18:06

From what you say OP, you wouldn't be unreasonable to drop your work to TWO days a week! Angry

arethereanyleftatall · 20/07/2017 18:07

Do it, do it, do it.
I have one day off a week and it is utter bliss.
As parents we work so hard for so many years, we deserve the little break with no guilt!

LottieDoubtie · 20/07/2017 18:08

Why would you be unreasonable OP? Does this work for your family? Will it make you, your DH and your kids happier?

Answer to all that yes? Crack on.

Dumdedumdum · 20/07/2017 18:08

No you should only be picking up extra work for the one day you're at home. I noticed that during ML I ended up doing far more household stuff than ever before (as I had time) yet when I went back to work part time I still did all that plus work. I suspect there are few women who don't "earn their keep" when working p-t.

Redredredrose · 20/07/2017 18:09

I currently work 4 days a week but when DS goes to school, I'm going to do 4 days over 5, which means I'll be able to do pick up every day, though DS will still have to go to breakfast club. If it works for you and your DH, I think it's fine.

Mrsglitterfairy · 20/07/2017 18:09

I only work 4 days a week and one is always a Saturday so I get 2 days to myself each week unless the DCs are on school hols. I do feel bad on DH sometimes as he never really gets time to himself. I do do 10 hour shifts to keep my salary the same though.
Most of my time on my weekday days off is spent catching up on washing, housework, food shopping etc as we don't get much done on the other days so I don't feel too guilty. It works for us as a family

gamerwidow · 20/07/2017 18:16

I'm even more of a slattern than you OP I only work three days a week and I have a cleaner and I only have one child!
I would love to say I spend my 2 days to myself each week on worthy productive tasks but I mostly catch up on boxsets and eat biscuits.
Have your day off and enjoy it!

early30smum · 20/07/2017 18:19

Thanks for all the replies. It will definitely make a massive difference to our lives in terms of my stress levels- my job is demanding. Also my little boy is so happy I'll be able to drop him at school one day a week, he's already said 'when I'm in big school are you talking me there on x day?' And his little face when I said I'd be taking him once a week was priceless. I know not everyone has this luxury and I've not been able to do it this year.

I should also add that we do have a cleaner but I do a LOT in between. We didn't have one for ages though.

OP posts:
MumsOnCrack · 20/07/2017 18:24

Enjoy!

Mrsglitterfairy · 20/07/2017 18:26

I also love being able to drop my boys off at least 2 days a week (depending on what shift I'm on) and pick them up 2 days. Also makes school holidays soooo much easier.

MargeryB · 20/07/2017 18:29

Like a previous poster I do 4 days over 5 so I can pick up every day. Honestly, if I moved my hours so I got a day at home, yes that would be selfish. Kids like me picking them up and DH doesn't get a day at home.

early30smum · 20/07/2017 18:30

There is no option with my job to spread it over 5 days and do pick up every day. And I also can't start later than I do any day, so if I did 5 days, I'd never be able to do drop off.

OP posts:
Luckymummy22 · 20/07/2017 19:00

I work 3 8 hour days at the moment so do drop off / pick up twice a week.
When my youngest goes to school I am hoping to do 4 days. Possibly 1 normal days and 3 short days or something. Need to work it out.

Just having time to do housework and other chores without kids will hopefully benefit us as a family.

Also it will mean than I will be able to spend my life taking the kids to different activities after school!!

Queenioqueenio · 20/07/2017 19:40

Sounds like a great arrangement- do not feel guilty. Only wish my employers would agree to stuff like this.

EmmaJR1 · 20/07/2017 20:32

You don't need to feel guilty or even have a reason! Since October 2015 I've worked part time and I didn't even get pregnant until Aug 2016!
Do what suits your family.

Brittbugs80 · 20/07/2017 20:34

I work three days a week, get to do the school run every morning, pick up from school twice a week and two days at home to cook, clean and read.

I love it, suits us better as a family as the weekends are days out or lazy days or a wander to the pub or cinema or park etc as I've already done the housework. Plus I earn more for doing three days instead.of 5.

If you can afford it, do it. Next thing you know it's retirement then death and I know personally, that I don't want to spend my whole life working.

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Pollypudding · 20/07/2017 20:38

Enjoy your time off whatever you decide to do . No need to feel guilty Halo

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 20/07/2017 20:41

I am doing this for the sake of my mental and physical health. I can't continue to work 5 days in teaching.

Grimbles · 20/07/2017 20:46

My DS goes to after school club till 6pm 3 times a week, even though I finish work at 3pm. Those couple of hours where I can drink a coffee in peace and watch what I want are pure bliss!

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