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AIBU?

I can't cry at really bad things

19 replies

Sunshinegirls · 19/07/2017 22:44

I can't cry at RL stuff that affects me, theres a lot of shit going on and I have a lot to deal with but I manage to stay emotionally neutral about it all, almost numb.
However I can have a complete sobbing breakdown at an advert on the telly. Aibu to think this isn't normal.

OP posts:

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EZA15 · 19/07/2017 22:46

I'm exactly the same - I can cope fine with the massive things but crumble at the small irrelevant things? I like to think that I'm good at compartmentalising and I'm practical but the compartments are so full with the massive stuff there's no room for the smaller stuff!

Sunshinegirls · 19/07/2017 22:50

I like that analogy EZA, I don't think it's healthy though. My anxiety levels are slowly creeping higher and higher. I think it's related to not processing the big stuff

OP posts:

ineedamoreadultieradult · 19/07/2017 22:51

I tend not to cry about big real life things that involve me. I go into super practical mode and sort of turn off my emotions then at some point in the future cry about some ducklings following the mummy duck.

Sunshinegirls · 19/07/2017 23:00

Exactly like me ineedamoreadultieradult. I'm glad it's not just me.

OP posts:

Katiekatie37 · 19/07/2017 23:21

I'm the same but even worse I get a nervous smile 😬. I cry over silly little things, sometimes even a song but when dealt with big stress I shut down and don't know how to react will often float along through it feeling robotic then when the situations over I get stress and emotional .

mineofuselessinformation · 19/07/2017 23:26

I'm of the sort where if it's a big thing, I can only let it out a bit at a time - otherwise I might start crying and not stop iyswim?
I can cry quite happily at little things because I know I will get over them.
Maybe that makes sense?

GirlInterruptedOftenByKids · 19/07/2017 23:29

It's totally normal. I don't cry when our lives are in crisis but I Damn near wept yesterday when the year 6 kids were leaving my dcs' school. I don't even have a Year 6 kid! !

ScarletForYa · 19/07/2017 23:32

The only thing I cry at is when I'm moved on behalf of someone else.

I just don't cry about anything to do with myself. I don't know why, I just never did. Anything disappointing or awful, sad etc. I don't have the reaction to cry.

There's nothing there where the urge to cry should be.

Aquamarine1029 · 19/07/2017 23:36

Do you think you're having anxiety because you're concerned that you don't cry at the "big things?" I think how you deal with things is perfectly fine. We are all different, and I actually am the same way as you are. Just because we don't react and process things the typical way doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with us.

Sunshinegirls · 20/07/2017 08:28

i don't know, maybe. More like I can't release negativity so it's building up inside like a pressure cooker.

OP posts:

BennySF · 20/07/2017 11:24

I almost never cry about stuff that happens in real life no matter how hard or personal, but I will easily cry when reading a book or watching a TV show.
I think that I have the reflex to brace myself and think rationally, with my brain rather than my heart to react to a real situation.
In fiction, where it's inconsequential, I let my feelings take the lead.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 20/07/2017 22:19

Are you on any medicine?

Beta blockers have some funny side effects.

Sunshinegirls · 21/07/2017 08:27

No, not on any meds at all. Barely even take paracetamol.

OP posts:

iklboo · 21/07/2017 08:32

We were having a discussion at work and I was voted person they'd most like to be with in an emergency because I wouldn't fall to pieces.

Ha! But I suppose it's because outwardly I'm calm and don't let things faze me. Internally it's like The Numbskulls (cartoon people living in your head) all took whizz washed down with Sunny D.

I can't cry at really bad things

pasturesgreen · 21/07/2017 08:43

I'm exactly like you, OP.

As iklboo said, it does come in handy in emergencies!

coddiwomple · 21/07/2017 08:45

I don't know, sometimes you don't give yourself permission to meltdown and you stay strong but it's more innocent to cry in front of the tv.
I mean, I lost someone really close and didn't shed a tears then, but I did have a proper cry out watching some random nonsense on the tv. Maybe it was a way to let go, who knows. it might not be normal, but you are not the only one.

If you are going through bad staff, you can still try to find a way to help you: talking about it with someone, going for a run, anything that can help you.

Sunshinegirls · 21/07/2017 09:28

It is definitely comforting to know that I'm not alone.

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DeadGood · 21/07/2017 09:39

"theres a lot of shit going on and I have a lot to deal with but I manage to stay emotionally neutral about it all"

Hope I'm not homing in on an unimportant aspect of your OP, but why do you "manage" to stay unemotional? Does it take effort? Do you value remaining calm and neutral?

GhostsToMonsoon · 21/07/2017 10:22

I'm the opposite - I never cry at the news or weepy films, but am more likely to be set off by something in real life. Could it be that your pent-up emotions from the real life stuff are coming out when you see an advert?

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