Quite a complex story so bare with me.
Me and DP have been with each other for 2 years. In December last year, a girl my DP has slept with on a few occasions approached him and said he was the father to her one year old daughter. He took a DNA test which came back he was the father and vowed to support his daughter and be in her life. I obviously was heartbroken that he had another child with another women (despite us not being together when it occurred) but I had spent a year of my life with this man by that point so we decided to work through it.
Since the mother of his child has came in to his life, she has been nothing but hard work. I am sure she has some sort of feelings for him deep down and resents that he is with me. She causes issues (lies about her daughter being sick to get the attention on her etc) attempts to start arguments with me over social media (which I never react to) Accuses DP of loving me more than he does his daughter, just petty things like that.
His DD comes round every weekend and she will not allow me to meet his daughter, so I have to stay at my mums when she comes over for the weekend else she won't let DP have her.
I live with him although its his house that he owns, I have no legal rights to it but I do contribute towards the bills etc from my own wages. She plays on this, tells him I have "no right" being in his house and that his daughter has more of a right to be there than I do so if she wants to come over, I must leave.
Now another drama filled situation has come up. Her tenancy has ended on her house and the landlords want to sell so she has to move out. She has sorted a new property to move in to but this wont be ready until the 18th of August and she has to leave her current property by Friday so she will be effectively homeless until then. She does have family close by (mum, dad, sister) but has told DP that she has fallen out with them and they've said she can't stay with them.
She is expecting DP to put both her and her DD up until they're able to move in to their new property. DP told her that DD is welcome to stay but she is not, she has kicked up a fuss saying she has more right to be there than I do because she is the mother of his child and owes her a duty of care as her daughters mother (we have no children). She has told him she is putting me before his daughter and the mother of his daughter.
He is now reconsidering letting her stay because they have a conversation and he said he felt sorry for her because "she sounded like she genuinely didn't have anywhere to go" The thing is, if they do stay I will probably have to leave (if I don't, she will use her daughter against DP) so I will have to stay with my mum for a month, if not then I don't really want to share the house with such a volatile person who causes problems and who clearly does not like me.
She enjoys pushing me out of his and his families life's and feel like her daughter is a ticket to do so. Such as I was invited to his sisters wedding a few months ago but I could not go in the end because she decided she would not let her DD go to the wedding UNLESS she was also coming, so his sister had to invite her too so her niece could be there (then she refused to come if I was invited so I was asked not to come!)
AIBU if I tell DP I don't want her to stay? It's his house and I don't want to control what he does I just feel its a bit cheeky, if she was a nice person and behaved like a mother opposed to a jealous trouble maker, I would have less of an issue.
It hurts me that he has fathered a child by another women (even though we wasn't together) but the fact she is such a horrible person just makes it worse.
She doesn't work, she supports herself entirely off the money he gives her in child support (over £1000 a month) so I see no reason she can't put herself up in a b&b
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AIBU?
To not want DP ex to stay here with us?
237 replies
Lydia393 · 17/07/2017 15:39
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