First time poster, not sure if this is the correct place to post.
When DH told his brother that we are expecting a baby at around 8 weeks his response was asking if it was planned (I never understood this question because if someone is announcing their pregnancy it means the baby is wanted so why ask) and saying you shouldn't be telling anyone until week 16 when the baby is more viable (I assume he means because of miscarriages - a weird way to phrase it). No congratulations from him. Surely its okay to want to share your good news with family members early on.
I'm now 19 weeks pregnant and BIL has still not congratulated us - not even a text message. He has shown zero interest. Even when we met him in person - no congratulations or any mention of the pregnancy - he spent the whole time ignoring me.
Maybe its my hormones but AIBU to be annoyed by his attitude and negativity?
AIBU?
AIBU to be annoyed with BILs reaction to pregnancy
Panda132 · 16/07/2017 12:01
Other people's pregnancies aren't really that exciting tbh. That being said, if he's making comments about not talking about it until sixteen weeks this would indicate that he has some experience (be that his or someone he knows) of someone who announced their pregnancy early only to have to tell the world that they've lost the baby or that they've had to have a termination. Talking about waiting until sixteen weeks to "wait and see if it's viable" would be more of an indication to me that either his partner or someone he knows well may have been given news of a severe disability at a twelve week scan and made the decision to terminate rather than just talking about miscarriage.
And tbh, it might seem insensitive, but the reality is that one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage before twelve weeks so he may not have wanted to congratulate at that point in case you lost the baby. I worked with someone once who announced her pregnancy to the office at twelve weeks and then went on to say "I didn't want to say anything sooner in case I lost it and then had to tell everyone," and I thought that this was a bit 
and why would you talk about losing the baby and so on, but I was only 21 then and knew nothing of such things.
But having heard your news at eight weeks I wouldn't be expecting a separate congratulations because that in itself might seem insensitive if he'd said at eight weeks that you should have held off in case of loss. Saying nothing at eight weeks and then congratulations at sixteen weeks seems to me to be far more insensitive than saying nothing at all.
But talk of cutting contact etc as suggested by others is completely ott. This is the reality of having your first child. For you this is an all-consuming experience while the rest of the world doesn't really care. 
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If someone tells me they're pregnant and they're under 12 weeks I do think to myself that it's a bit early for them to be telling anyone but I would never say it out loud to their face.
I'm currently pregnant andvehen I told my parents (at 14 weeks) my mom's reaction was, "Oh God, you're not are you? Was it planned?!" 
As many posters have said, not everyone is that bothered about pregnancy.....especially men. I really think you're worrying too much about this.
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