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To be very worried about step-daughter being in male changing rooms

(13 Posts)
Mrskeats Mon 10-Jul-17 22:03:16

I have posted before about my step-daughter who is having some issues with her gender identity. She is only 14 and is under the care of the Tavistock Clinic.
Tonight she went swimming and went into the male changing rooms. She got some hassle from some young men in there asking what she was etc.
I am very worried that she does this. She looks like a girl although she wears what could be regarded as boyish clothes. I worry it will end in tears.

Mrskeats Mon 10-Jul-17 22:43:10

bump

KnittingPearl Mon 10-Jul-17 23:06:47

I'm so sorry to read this, and don't have much in the way of advice, but don't want to read and run. This will be very tricky - is she very much still in the uncertain phase, and next time she might use the female changing rooms, or do you think it is more concrete?

Mrskeats Mon 10-Jul-17 23:20:39

She's only 14 and likes boys so who knows? I'm just worried she's putting herself in danger.

pinkksugarmouse Mon 10-Jul-17 23:31:04

Gosh that is a tough one Mrskeats. On one hand you want to support her or she this be his choices and feelings but I can understand why you are worried about the changing rooms. Can the clinic offer any advice? Do they offer support for family members? There really should be.

dinosaursandtea Mon 10-Jul-17 23:35:16

Is there any way you could speak to the staff and see if there's anywhere else they could change? If your sd is clear that they aren't female then I think it's acceptable for them not to change with the women, but someone who looks like a 14 year old girl changing around grown men... eeesh.

Mrskeats Mon 10-Jul-17 23:37:06

Yes I know it's not a great thought
May be an idea to get in touch with the clinic and get their advice
I know there have been assaults etc in the press

VestalVirgin Mon 10-Jul-17 23:39:32

Perhaps this site can help you: www.4thwavenow.com

There's many parents with similar problems.

Mrskeats Mon 10-Jul-17 23:46:06

Thanks

MissionItsPossible Tue 11-Jul-17 00:43:55

I don't think a teenage girl should be in men's changing rooms or teenage boys in women's changing rooms. Can she not change in a cubicle so she doesn't have to be around other women getting changed as a compromise.

CheeseGirl4 Tue 11-Jul-17 05:10:02

My local swimming baths has entirely mixed changing rooms - cubicles of course, but nit separated into M & F. I wonder if you have anywhere similar locally? This could make it easier for her until she is clearer on her gender identity.

Mrskeats Tue 11-Jul-17 08:43:27

I could check out the mixed changing thing yes

VikingVolva Tue 11-Jul-17 08:48:58

Family changing room would be best, even if it means going to a more distant pool.

Or cubicle in a single-sex changing room.

What swimsuit does she wear? If she is flat-chested and can still wear trunks, then she could use cubicle in the men's and be at no more risk than a teenage boy.

If changing into a swimsuit with a top, then it'll need to be the women's.

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