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AIBU to say this is completely unacceptable conversation

(90 Posts)
queenbeeee Sat 08-Jul-17 23:42:23

So, I overheard my mom talking to my neice(14) today. My mother (57) has a very busy social life. She goes on holidays to magaluf with a group of friends. They usually have a theme and dress up as pirates,police officer etc. Today I heard mom telling my niece (her granddaughter), about a hen night she went on to the night before. I heard her telling my niece how there had been a naked waiter at the party. She was laughing and joking as if she had just told an adult. She also mentioned how everyone was drunk. AIBU to tell her this is completely an unacceptable conversation to have with your granddaughter. Tia

khajiit13 Sat 08-Jul-17 23:45:10

She sounds like a fun grandmother. Back off

PurpleDaisies Sat 08-Jul-17 23:46:59

You're totally overreacting. I'm sure your 14 year old is aware people get drunk and has heard of naked waiters before.

What harm do you think will come from this conversation?

MrsJAMMFraser Sat 08-Jul-17 23:48:42

Doesn't sound like a great role model at an impressionable age. I'd say something.

RiversrunWoodville Sat 08-Jul-17 23:49:43

Brilliant grandmother! She sounds just like my wee Nannies older sister she was so much fun (much to my Grandads disgust)

dollydaydream114 Sat 08-Jul-17 23:51:06

First of all, a naked waiter and people drinking is incredibly tame stuff and I can't see the problem in a teenager laughing with an adult about those things.

Secondly, it's your niece, not your daughter, and therefore it's none of your business what your mum talks to her about anyway. If your niece's parents have an issue with your mum, they can tell her. You need to stop eavesdropping and keep out of it.

AmberNectarine Sat 08-Jul-17 23:52:33

Oh have a word with yourself, I was up to all sorts at that age!

MargotLovedTom1 Sat 08-Jul-17 23:52:51

She's hardly relating tales of swinging parties or lesbian orgies. I'm sure the 14 year old either sniggered or went "Ewwwww Nana, TMI!" while sniggering and thought no more of it.

deuxmoulins Sat 08-Jul-17 23:53:14

Does she watch Love Island etc? She'll have seen far worse on that.

MeanAger Sat 08-Jul-17 23:56:00

You think at 14 she isn't aware that people get drunk and sometimes men are naked? You think she hasn't seen and discussed naked men herself?

daffo Sat 08-Jul-17 23:56:33

At 14 we are talking to them about things like sexting, drinking, drugs etc during form sessions in school. They also do sexual reproduction in year 7 during their science lessons. The detailed discussed during these lessons is much more than what you have mentioned here and whilst you may not consider it an appropriate grandmother-granddaughter chat I'm sure the 14 year old is already well aware of these things. I don't think anything terrible has happened really.

MeanAger Sat 08-Jul-17 23:57:26

I went on my first hen night aged 15. No naked waiters though sad

Scottishchick39 Sun 09-Jul-17 00:01:51

I have a 15 year old and this is like conversations between my mum and her. My daughter is quite mature and even I forget her age at times.

becausebecausebecause Sun 09-Jul-17 00:10:13

Jesus, scraping the barrel to find outrage now.

becausebecausebecause Sun 09-Jul-17 00:12:35

Oh sorry OP. just realised you called your mother 'mom' so, assuming your American or Canadian and buy into shite like Baby Showers etc, then of course YANB at all U.

brasty Sun 09-Jul-17 00:13:06

I am sure she just thought eeewww. Teenagers don't tend to like thinking of their older relatives being into sex.
But if you seriously think this is inappropriate conversation, I would be worried that you are not talking to her about the very real issues teenagers face these days around things far more serious than this.

MissBax Sun 09-Jul-17 00:14:21

I'm assuming your niece knows what alcohol is, and that we aren't born fully clothed?

thebigbluedustbin Sun 09-Jul-17 00:15:55

She's 14, not 4.

Sn0tnose Sun 09-Jul-17 00:16:37

If she was four, I'd agree with you. But at fourteen, I think she's old enough to know that people get drunk.

elephantoverthehill Sun 09-Jul-17 00:17:24

This exactly why I want to be a Grandma no hope of it happening soon

Foniks Sun 09-Jul-17 00:48:26

Im with you op. While it's very likely your niece will have heard of things like this before, I think there a certain conversations you have with your friends and certain conversations you have with your grandmother/granddaughter and they don't mix.

SquirrelWatcher Sun 09-Jul-17 00:54:46

Oh sorry OP. just realised you called your mother 'mom' so, assuming your American or Canadian and buy into shite like Baby Showers etc, then of course YANB at all U.

Or.....from the Midlands, where loads of people say Mom.

Want2bSupermum Sun 09-Jul-17 00:58:06

I'm with you OP. It's not a good example to be setting for a teen who is about to start their relationship with alcohol.

theancientmarinader Sun 09-Jul-17 01:01:57

I am possibly the most po faced person ever (in face ex-BIL actually called me 'lemon sucker' as a result) but even I have had similar conversations with my own children (13,15,17). We also watch the 'bachelorette' together. I see this as a public service as I can frequently be outraged about the entire idea of going on the telly and snogging mucho men and the unwise nature of entering a reality competition to find a husband. (Plus they are all awful, and I can give them terrible nicknames like 'creepy penis guy' - who sadly has been voted out now)

I'm middle class naice. I'm not a natural bachelorette watcher. But there is a time when it becomes necessary to address the topic of sex, with one's offspring. (Note careful comma placement - no grandma eating here)

I'm trying really hard to be outraged by squiffy women and a naked waiter and I'm failing miserably. Meh.

theancientmarinader Sun 09-Jul-17 01:07:37

<although truth be told, when said offspring were, like, 4,6,8, for example, I would have totally have been on the bandwagon. My horror would have been unabated. Even on behalf of someone else's 14yo. But now, sadly and firmly, I'm on the side of discussing such matters openly, with humour, with your teens. And remembering my own teen years, I think they are well able to put their fingers in their ears and 'la la la' if it oversteps their sensitive bounds>

And then later on, they too get to decide how to address naked men and booze with their own offspring. Or nieces. Or grand daughters.

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