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Do your children say please and thank you?

(83 Posts)
Whichwayyisup Fri 07-Jul-17 19:15:18

My friend has 2 dcs aged 7 and 9.

They are nice enough children in that they don't swear or hit (although they hit each other quite a lot!) but they don't seem to have a grasp of manners.

They rarely engage in conversation with adults but will interrupt conversations to get their mum's attention. They will either just stare at anyone who tries to engage with them or completely ignore.

Also they never say please or thank you. I bought them an ice cream this afternoon and they both just grabbed it from my hands.

Friend didn't say anything. Just smiled indulgently and praised them for being hungry and eating well confused

AIBU to think that they are old enough to have some basic manners?

Stickaforkinimdone Fri 07-Jul-17 19:16:40

This would really wind me up! My 2.5 year old knows how to say please and thank you

Your friend sounds like she's raising entitled little snowflakes

TeaBelle Fri 07-Jul-17 19:16:49

I make dd say please and thank you. She needs some reminding especially if feeling shy or excited. She's 2.5

Pengggwn Fri 07-Jul-17 19:17:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PsychoPumpkin Fri 07-Jul-17 19:17:41

Mine usually do, if they forget I remind them and say thank you myself.

NicolasFlamel Fri 07-Jul-17 19:18:07

Yeah that's pants. My 4 year old has managed to get the hang of it.

Lovelilies Fri 07-Jul-17 19:18:52

At that age I would expect them to.
When they were younger I'd just say it for them, if they hadn't already.

siblingrevelryagain Fri 07-Jul-17 19:18:53

I seem to still be constantly saying "magic word", even though my children (10, 8 & 5) are very well behaved (even if I say so myself). I would've thought by now it would be automatic (although friends and school always say they're well mannered so maybe they just get lazy with me).

Manners will always be important to me, so I will continue to drum it into them until every request has a please, and thank you is an automatic response.

MrsHathaway Fri 07-Jul-17 19:18:58


My children do forget their manners sometimes but they remember them just as often, and remember when nudged.

They need to learn to use nice voices/polite tone and not just manners words like please and thank you. In many ways that's more important.

Soddingepiphany Fri 07-Jul-17 19:19:05

My 2.5 year old does!

AuditAngel Fri 07-Jul-17 19:19:25

Yes they are old enough. DD2 is 6 and I won't release something from my hand if there is no please and thank you.

I don't allow my kids to interrupt (unless I start driving and they aren't strapped in, then they are allowed to shout at me!) if they try, I will hold one finger in the air to remind them, carry on my conversation before asking what they
They sometimes forget their manners for me, but rarely with others.

glitterglitters Fri 07-Jul-17 19:20:37

Yes, we've parroted to our daughter and she says please and thank you 99% of the time unprompted.

Soubriquet Fri 07-Jul-17 19:20:48


My 2 and 4 year old both say it

SillyBub Fri 07-Jul-17 19:21:53

Mine (9 & 7) are always complimented on their good manners. Whilst I'm pleased about that, it's just what I expect really. They're shy around people they don't know but will still always say please and thank you. It's something I've been brought up to do and so have they.

I deal with a lot of children in my job and it's depressing how many don't say please and thank you.

Mulberry72 Fri 07-Jul-17 19:22:38

I'm a fairly laid back parent, but good manners is top of my list. DS(10) always uses please and thank you, asks to leave the table etc.

DF always insisted on good manners and I'm the same.

Onhold Fri 07-Jul-17 19:23:22

Well no ones going to come on MN and say their children don't. More likely to get answers along the lines of MN children saying thank you to the mid wife who delivered them.

krustykittens Fri 07-Jul-17 19:23:49

Bloody right they say please and thank you! A friend of mine is an air stewardess and she had a delightful 10 year old on a flight one day who just kept barking orders at her. When he wanted a drink and just said, "Coke," she lost patience and said, "What's the magic word?" He looked genuinely confused and said, "Diet?" Kids have no idea how rude they look and it will do them no favours as an adult.

Bumbumtaloo Fri 07-Jul-17 19:24:07

Mine are 5 & 7 and say please and thank you, if they don't automatically say it they are reminded. They are asked to wait if they interrupt a conversation unless it's urgent, unfortunately what I deem as urgent is some way off what they think is urgent grin

Just recently we've had a teacher and dinner lady separately say our dd's have lovely manners not sure how that happened but we'll take it

I have also realised I have started to sound like my mum grin

Smeaton Fri 07-Jul-17 19:24:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

megletthesecond Fri 07-Jul-17 19:24:40

Not to me, despite daily reminders. But they do for everyone else.

Stopnamechanging Fri 07-Jul-17 19:25:09

Yes, always been really strict on it. My youngest has autism and it's an ongoing battle but we try.

Rumtopf Fri 07-Jul-17 19:26:46

That's so sad that they haven't been taught basic manners.
We've always been quite keen on manners and dd is complimented often on how pleasant she is to speak with or take out, which is really lovely.

user1492287253 Fri 07-Jul-17 19:27:33

i dont know any kids that dont say please and thank you

diodati Fri 07-Jul-17 19:28:38

Little savages.

123rd Fri 07-Jul-17 19:30:37

My dc literally do not get a thing without a please & thankyou.
Some kids I used to look after were bloody rude and never ever said thank you. And I would say to them..." child a. What do you say?"
It really pissed me off.

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