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Feel like crying...

(18 Posts)
Zoeey Fri 07-Jul-17 17:36:35

Can't believe I'm posting again and it's only been a couple of days.

AIBU?

My daughter is 16yrs and had to see a counsellor for six months due to teenage angst.

She questioned her gender, sexuality, had zero confidence and low self esteem.

We were very lucky with the counsellor because my daughter took to her straight away.

Due to confidentiality we couldn't be told anything but when she finished her counselling we were told on the qt our daughter would be fine and it's teenage angst.

My daughter is quite shy and has a close circle of six friends.

Two years ago she refused to were any dresses or makeup and is not remotely into anything girly.

I have a gut feeling she maybe gay and she's trying to sort this out herself.

She did attend a lgbt club for a couple of months over a year ago and then stopped wanting to go.

She made a very big decision this week and got her long hair cut short into a lovely chic piXie cut and as I had reservations I'm happy with it. She suits the style.

Her friends refused also to go to the school prom.

So they decided to all go out for a meal this evening there way of celebrating.

My daughter txt me to say they wouldn't go in the restaurant and wanted a Maccies?

You couldn't make it up!

And not one of them have commented on her hair!

I feel like crying for her?

What's up with teenagers today no wonder her confidence is low.

Is it too much to say I like your hair (even if they didn't? )

ProudBadMum Fri 07-Jul-17 17:39:18

You want to cry because her hair hasn't been commented on?

NicolasFlamel Fri 07-Jul-17 17:41:34

I'm a bit confused. They're teenagers they probably just didn't think to comment on the hair. Are you upset about everything that's happened and this is a bit of an outlet?

HooplaLoopla1 Fri 07-Jul-17 17:43:26

I'm guessing it's more like you perceive your daughters lack of confidence and self esteem isn't being helped by her friends lack of interest in her?

I can understand how you're feeling and if your daughter is questioning her sexuality, you don't want anything to make her doubt herself. Her friends probably aren't trying to be deliberately indifferent, teenagers are often just so caught up in trying to 'fit in' themselves, they don't notice around them.

islandandshores Fri 07-Jul-17 17:44:38

I think you are expecting a bit much to be honest.

MeanAger Fri 07-Jul-17 17:46:15

My daughter txt me to say they wouldn't go in the restaurant and wanted a maccies

You couldn't make it up!

Eh?? confused teenagers fancy macDonald's. Nothing strange or startling about that. Are you prone to melodramatics?

acquiescence Fri 07-Jul-17 17:47:49

I don't understand. What could you 'not make up'? That they didn't comment on her hair? Is she upset because they wanted to go somewhere different to eat? I can't quite understand what is making you feel like crying OP, have you missed out some information?

I'm sorry your daughter has been having a tough time.

Coulddowithanap Fri 07-Jul-17 17:51:18

Nothing wrong with not wanting to wear makeup (especially at 14), dresses or not liking girly things.

SpicyBeanzy Fri 07-Jul-17 17:57:34

I'm lost- she went for counseling, might be gay and asked for McDonald's because no one complimented her hair?

OliviaBenson Fri 07-Jul-17 18:03:32

How do you know noone complimented her hair? Did she tell you or did you ask?

islandandshores Fri 07-Jul-17 18:05:03

Or Spicy, she's a confused young woman who has been for counselling, has questioned her sexuality, identity and indeed her gender. But her friends have been there for her. But rather than celebrating in the agreed way (restaurant) they got a McDonald's.

I do think op you're being a bit dramatic (meant kindly)

EdmundCleverClogs Fri 07-Jul-17 18:17:23

This is very odd. Firstly, plenty of girls aren't into make up, doesn't make them gay (of course, not dismissing she is).

Secondly, what is so odd about teens preferring a McDonalds?

Thirdly, are you sure you're not projecting a lot on to your daughter? It's very much 'I think/I feel' in your op. Why would you have reservations about her hair? Or get upset that none of her friends said anything? I'd not be surprised if your daughter is picking up on your overreactions, perhaps step back a bit and let her find her own way.

VeryButchyRestingFace Fri 07-Jul-17 18:22:59

My daughter txt me to say they wouldn't go in the restaurant and wanted a Maccies? You couldn't make it up!
And not one of them have commented on her hair!
I feel like crying for her?
What's up with teenagers today no wonder her confidence is low
Is it too much to say I like your hair (even if they didn't? )

Were you very young when you had her?

Zoeey Fri 07-Jul-17 18:31:40

HooplaLoopla. ..you've got it in one.

She's had such a hard 12 months and she's been so excited to show off her new hairstyle that she held back telling them as she wanted to surprise them at the meal.

I know teenagers can be self obsessed but not to comment how awful.

Zoeey Fri 07-Jul-17 18:39:53

Unfortunately my post hasn't come across well I haven't explained properly then.

My daughter is 16yrs. It doesn't bother me as to whether she wears makeup or not!

She's had counselling for six months questioning everything about her.

She suffers with very low confidence and low self esteem.

No I didn't have her young and I'm not over dramatic.

My daughter and her friends arranged to have a lovely meal in a restaurant for their prom/leavers do.

My daughter was so excited about this and yes I felt like crying for her when she sent me several txt saying that she was uoset that no one commented on her hair.

Even if they said they liked it ( and they didnt) that would have given her a boost.

So yes maybe I am being over dramatic but I feel very upset for my daughter.

A tiny compliment would have meant so much to her.

MeanAger Fri 07-Jul-17 18:43:34

As hard as it may be I think maybe you need to guide her to not expect or depend on comments from others to boost her self esteem. Down that path is only disappointment. As she has discovered this evening. Far better for her to get her self esteem from knowing she likes her hair rather than placing her happiness in the hands of others.

nevereverever83 Fri 07-Jul-17 18:44:34

she can't say "what do you think of my new hair?" to her friends? Weird.

Floralnomad Fri 07-Jul-17 18:44:49

Perhaps they couldn't all afford a restaurant or , if they live near us , it's too bloody hot to eat a proper meal . Teens are not known for their sensitivity and frankly there are lots of people with 16 yr olds with low self esteem and issues that don't even have friends to go out with so get a grip and look at the positives .

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