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To think this is not a picture you would post on Facebook

(232 Posts)
Nowaynowjose Thu 06-Jul-17 06:24:56

SIL posts regularly about various problems, usually the half info type post which has lots of ppl sympathising and asking after more detail. Her young child recently had an issue which required hospitalisation, and was put on a ventilator for a day, fluid drained etc. Luckily, treatment has been positive and the worst is over. She will need to stay in for a few more days for observation.
The first we knew about it was from a post on FB, on entry to the hospital, although it wasn't clear which child was involved, or what the problem was. Subsequent updates have included photos of child with various tubes etc, which has been distressing for some family members to see (for various reasons). I understand FB is a fast way to update everyone at once, but AIBU to think posting the pics is a bit unnecessary? The poor child is ill, surely they deserve a bit more privacy than having these pics plastered on social media?

Fruitypebbles Thu 06-Jul-17 06:27:32

One picture is okay as long as nothing is gory because the kid's most likely just asleep and all the parent is doing is worrying - multiple pictures with "my poor baby sad" every hour or every day is ridiculous.

MrsExpo Thu 06-Jul-17 06:29:16

Totally agree. Just why would you do that? It's intrusive, unnecessary and upsetting. Do hospitals have rules about taking pictures on wards?

wowfudge Thu 06-Jul-17 06:30:46

I'm with you on this, but for every person who dislikes it there will be another who thinks it is fine, it's the way things are these days, it updates the family without having to ring round, etc, etc.

It's not something I would ever do and if I was that I'll and someone put a photo on FB I'd be pissed off that posting at a time like that even entered their head and would not want my photo plastered on their FB page.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Thu 06-Jul-17 06:36:43

I'm with you.

My mate posted a gazillion pictures of her mum during her final stretch of Alzheimer's disease.

The mum was very fashion/makeup conscious back in the day and would've been humiliated by the nightdress with incontinence pants showing, no makeup and bad hair photos on FB each day.

That said, I think people do what they can to cope and maybe aren't quite thinking straight when these posts are put up.

Nowaynowjose Thu 06-Jul-17 06:39:00

I totally agree with updates, but think the pic is in really poor taste and isnt actually necessary. I don't know what the hospital policy is, if any, but I assume personal pics of your own child to send to update family is ok?
Wow no, I wouldn't want my pic up either!

user1498911470 Thu 06-Jul-17 06:47:48

It's unreasonable and unnecessary. My father's wife emailed me a picture of him moments after he had major surgery, he was still in the recovery room FFS. By the time the photo arrived he had died. As a result I'm against people posting pictures like that on social media/email; it's cruel, inconsiderate and totally unnecessary.

Shadow666 Thu 06-Jul-17 06:52:32

A friend's daughter was in hospital so the friend handed her phone to her husband to take a photo of her posing with a ridiculous looking serene expression cuddling her hysterically crying daughter to put on Facebook. It was awful and attention seeking. I think people just take photos of everything these days. No sense of privacy,

Sirzy Thu 06-Jul-17 06:58:07

Each to their own. I couldn't judge someone going through such a tough time personally.

When ds was ill I chose not to post pictures of him at his worst - that was my choice though and doesn't make it any more valid than the choice of someone who posts pictures. I do have the pictures though.

He has since spent a large chunk of the last 7 years in and ot of hospitals both as an inpatient and an outpatient so yes at times I have taken photos of him and shared them - to him hospitals are as much a part of life as a day to the beach.

chipscheeseandgravy Thu 06-Jul-17 07:00:28

My son had a nasty allergic reaction, didn't feel the need to take photos or log into Facebook and immediately tag myself as being at the hospital.
I have friends who are forever tagging themselves at the local a&e dept. To me it seems attention seeking, but each to their own.

missyB1 Thu 06-Jul-17 07:03:39

Surely people can update without photos? Mind you I don't really get the need that some people have for playing out every crisis in their lives on social media.

Alittlepotofrosie Thu 06-Jul-17 07:04:59

So by your logic people shouldn't share photos of their premature newborn babies?

user1498911470 Thu 06-Jul-17 07:05:39

I expect that, for some, it's where they get their emotional support. Right or wrong, perhaps that is the only place that they get any?

KoalaDownUnder Thu 06-Jul-17 07:06:56

Attention-seeking crap.

Spikeyball Thu 06-Jul-17 07:11:09

Some people spend a lot of time in hospital so it's no different in that situation from those who put on lots of photos of children who are lucky enough not to spend lots of time in hospital.

Nowaynowjose Thu 06-Jul-17 07:12:29

So by your logic people shouldn't share photos of their premature newborn babies?
I wasn't talking about a premature baby though, was I.
user I take your point about getting emotional support from it, although there is plenty of support available from family, I guess it's a matter of how much they feel they need.

Sirzy Thu 06-Jul-17 07:13:28

So what age does it stop being acceptable? If your saying it's ok for some and not for others then that really is flawed logic surely?

Lonelymummyof1 Thu 06-Jul-17 07:13:57

Weirdly - I feel like i know this person
( not related dont worry 😂) also have no intention of engaging.

KoalaDownUnder Thu 06-Jul-17 07:14:48

This child is not that in that situation, though, is it Spikey?

Presumably the child will go back to living its normal life and the mother can put pictures up of that.

Primamadonna Thu 06-Jul-17 07:15:44

Can't stand this. Luckily only one FB friend does this so I've adjusted my settings and thus miss her attention seeking at the expense of her kids. They all seem to follow the same format.

KoalaDownUnder Thu 06-Jul-17 07:16:22

Honestly, to me it reeks of 'children in hospital and their parents get so much attention, look at meeee!'

Part of the horrible Facebook culture.

Lonelymummyof1 Thu 06-Jul-17 07:17:16

I do post pics of my DD in hospital and her lines however she spent 20 months in and had permanent lines so its just our life.

swapsicles Thu 06-Jul-17 07:18:14

the last post that bothered me was a photo from a friend of a friend (so don't actually know them either it just popped up on my wall)
It was a girl of about 7 close of her face screaming and upset due to an injury (think it was a bloodied fat lip)
ffs! give the girl a cuddle not take a photo!!

Spikeyball Thu 06-Jul-17 07:19:15

In this case yes.
I am not a fan of over sharing on Facebook but sometimes they need their privacy actually means I don't want to see things like that on my Facebook.

KoalaDownUnder Thu 06-Jul-17 07:19:18

Lonely That's really rough.

I hope I didn't offend you with anything I said. Obviously it's different if your child is living in hospital for months. flowers

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