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To think DD should be able to hold her pen in the way she finds most comfortable?

(90 Posts)
bluegreenandgold Mon 03-Jul-17 18:03:57

DD (8) holds her pen strangely, she always has.

She has been told to hold it correctly by all her teachers over the years and been given various things to help encourage this but she finds it impossible to maintain holding it in the traditional way so reverts back.

Does it matter? I don't think it does, her writing is neat.

LindyHemming Mon 03-Jul-17 18:07:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Callamia Mon 03-Jul-17 18:09:32

I'm on her side here. I hold my pen oddly, and I've so far not failed at life completely.

I was given one of those triangle pencil grip things in Y6, and I just couldn't work it out. I think my fingers just don't really bend the right way to use that standard grip, so I hold my pen in such a way that allows me to control what I'm doing.

The only small bother is that she might get a bit more achy with prolonged (exam-type) writing, but it's probably not any sort of big deal.

Wolfiefan Mon 03-Jul-17 18:09:36

If it takes her ages to write because of the way she holds her pen then she should change. She will be at a disadvantage in exams later on if she can't write quickly enough.

bluegreenandgold Mon 03-Jul-17 18:12:39

It doesn't take her ages at all, she's pretty speedy.

I think she feels embarrassed by people pointing it out and making a fuss.

JemDoughnut Mon 03-Jul-17 18:12:46

I hold my pen 'wrong' but my handwriting is perfect neat and I don't have any trouble because of the way I hold a pen. My handwriting is barely legible if I attempt to hold a pen how you're taught as a child.

Is she a leftie? Not sure if it makes a difference but both me and my brother are left-handed and have always had comments made about how we hold/use things.

OvO Mon 03-Jul-17 18:13:46

My 9 year old holds his pen oddly too. Gave up long ago encouraging him to do it 'properly'. It works fine for him (doesn't always him down) so none of his teachers have ever even mentioned it.

masterblaster2000 Mon 03-Jul-17 18:15:13

I hold my pen wrong. I just can't hold it right! My writing is very neat, I'm quick and it doesn't ache so why change it?!

Wolfiefan Mon 03-Jul-17 18:16:16

If her writing is neat and the speed is fine then I would say she should write exactly as she wants.
Ex English teacher with nearly 20 years on the job!

Sallywiththegoodhurr Mon 03-Jul-17 18:17:13

I hold my pen oddly, always have done. Throughout school I was told to hold it correctly but it hurt my fingers and I couldn't write properly.
I've been writing 'wrong' for many years now without any trouble.

I'm on your dd's side, she should hold it however is comfortable for her.

Dawnedlightly Mon 03-Jul-17 18:17:45

Someone snobby pointed out that I held my pen like a peasant when I was in my 30s and I realised it's much comfort holding it the correct way. No more inky fingers, no cramp. I'd preserve.

CrazyHairSister Mon 03-Jul-17 18:18:24

DD was always having teachers try to correct how she holds a pen.

She can write quickly and clearly so I didn't see the point of them trying to make her do it differently

LuxCoDespondent Mon 03-Jul-17 18:19:14

I've always held my pen "wrong". Teachers tried to "correct" me a few times, but never in a helpful way - they'd just grab my hand, reposition my fingers and let me get on with it. I never knew why my method was wrong, just that it was different.

Do what works. If she can write neatly enough and her grip is comfortable, what's the problem?

MiaowTheCat Mon 03-Jul-17 18:19:49

Still fighting this one desperately with DD1 before the habit becomes TOO ingrained (she's end of Reception) - we're about 50/50 getting her to hold it sensibly on any given day.

Her father has a shocking pencil grip and the most atrocious writing you'd ever see (it makes the average illegible doctor scrawl look like the bloody Lindisfarne Gospels) and she's NOT taking after him with it.

ThomasRichard Mon 03-Jul-17 18:19:52

I'm like your DD and hold my pen strangely. It wasn't a problem in exams until it came to A-level and I had to write a lot of essays. I just couldn't write fast enough. For my degree I went to my GP, who wrote a letter to my university so I could use a computer during exams.

bluegreenandgold Mon 03-Jul-17 18:21:10

Why does it matter, Miaow?

Is it because of your DDs handwriting? Mine is fine.

She's right handed but her dad is left handed and always puts things together upside down grin

bluegreenandgold Mon 03-Jul-17 18:22:02

Thomas honestly, she writes perfectly quickly and she has never complained of pain.

She enjoys writing stories. Cheapest child ever as a pretty notebook and she's content for hours grin

ThomasRichard Mon 03-Jul-17 18:23:01

I have gorgeous handwriting BTW (even if I do say so myself grin) but it really stuffed my A-Levels.

ThomasRichard Mon 03-Jul-17 18:24:44

bluegreenandgold she sounds just like me smile I truly didn't notice a problem, had stellar exam results all the way through to AS-Levels, started my A-Level mocks and realised that I couldn't do it. Stupidly didn't say anything but I did for my degree.

bluegreenandgold Mon 03-Jul-17 18:25:28

Well, we'll see. I really don't think there's a problem like th one you identify Thomas but will bear it in mind.

Nanny0gg Mon 03-Jul-17 18:26:01

I really think the conventional way is the most effective, comfortable and in the end, better for the hand way.

I am not an expert, but I think there is far less strain on the hand if you hold a pen 'properly'.

Bluerose27 Mon 03-Jul-17 18:26:43

Correct Pen/pencil grip places the least amount of stress not only on the hand but on the arm and shoulder as well. At the start it may not seem to make a big difference but as time goes by and more writing is necessary an incorrect grip may have a detrimental effect on the whole arm/shoulder. That said, past state exams, very few people write for very long amounts of time anyway.
I'm not saying the teachers should/shouldn't try to change your DD's pencil grip, just giving you the theory behind it

chowmeinchick Mon 03-Jul-17 18:27:33

I hold it wrong too. People seriously make a big deal out of this? 🙄

Hulder Mon 03-Jul-17 18:29:12

By 8 it's too late to change

I hold my pen 'wrong' - most people who see me write will comment on it.

It was a problem at school as my hand hurt a lot more than everyone else's but unfortunately the habit was set before anyone started trying to teach me different. Still managed to write fast and essays longhand.

And I won the handwriting cup grin

WineAndTiramisu Mon 03-Jul-17 18:29:59

I had the same issue in childhood, they made me use the triangle thing, but I never changed.
No problem until doing GCSE/A levels and writing a lot, had issues ever since with tennis elbow and golfers elbow (no I don't play either of those!), Due to holding pen strangely and writing lots and lots.

I'd persevere to try and avoid issues later on, but if she really can't, leave her to do it her way

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