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AIBU to think this is totally wrong

(41 Posts)
Hazydaze67 Sat 01-Jul-17 13:01:39

Volunteered to help out at the PTA's Summer Fair yesterday. Ended up on a stall where there were various really great prizes to be won by choosing an envelope with a corresponding number inside. Was taken aback when one member of the PTA came up and said she wanted to have a go but would pay later. She opted for 3 goes for a £5. None of her envelopes had a winning number so she went off never to be seen again and I'm pretty sure she had no intention of paying the £5. Towards the end of the afternoon, another mum comes along and dumps her handbag next to me saying "do you need any help?". As it was coming to the end of the afternoon I said "no, it seems to have quietened down now so I can manage on my own thanks". She then proceeded to open all the envelopes looking for the number for a prize worth over £40 and said she would give me a pound if she found the right one. She had two of her kids going through all the envelopes too and this was in front of other people who had paid the full amount to get a chance to win. As soon as the last customer had gone, I started taking down all the envelopes (she's still going through them all at this point) saying "I'm going to close now, so can you help me bin the envelopes please". She said "I really need that prize, I'm going to ask * (one of the PTA) if I can have it for £2". She followed me across the field to the Chair of the PTA who was busy organising the packing away and offered her £2 for this prize worth over £40. I don't think the PTA Chair had any idea how much this item was worth and said "Yes I suppose the money is going to a good cause isn't it?" and let her take it away. Does anyone else think this is awful behaviour? I have avoided getting involved with the PTA apart from volunteering to help with stalls, etc., in the past and I'm sick of hearing via other parents that there are one or two people who seem to think that as they are on the PTA it allows them to give their kids free food and drink, unlimited time on the bouncy castle, free go's on the stalls, etc., etc. Does anyone else think this is wrong or am I just being a killjoy?

luckylucky24 Sat 01-Jul-17 13:03:45

Why didn't you stop her? That is so rude!

MumIsRunningAMarathon Sat 01-Jul-17 13:04:39

I avoid these things... I've seen similiar

AlternativeTentacle Sat 01-Jul-17 13:11:07

What? Why didn't you take the envelopes off her?

SissySpacekAteMyHamster Sat 01-Jul-17 13:11:44

No way would any of our PTA think that was acceptable. Any left over prizes would be kept until Christmas fair or added to the raffle.

I'm sure anyone who donated prizes and saw that behaviour would not be donating again.

choccyp1g Sat 01-Jul-17 13:19:40

We had to subtly "ban" one whole family from helping themselves on the gift stall, as they regularly hoovered up the best items, and promised to pay later. Then put a few pounds in at the end, for stuff that would have sold for £50.

We tried to be kind and not stigmatise the DCs, who can't help having thieving parents, but sadly, by the time they reached Y5, the children were just as bad.

muddlefuck Sat 01-Jul-17 13:33:48

Why on earth didn't you stop her?!

Hazydaze67 Sat 01-Jul-17 13:56:48

I did try to believe me but she just wouldn't listen to me. I'm all for giving a small child an extra go or a consolation pack of mini Haribo but these were grown women!

BenLui Sat 01-Jul-17 14:01:26

That absolutely wouldn't happen at either of the PTAs I've been involved with.

Whatthefoxgoingon Sat 01-Jul-17 14:03:23

That's just flat out stealing shock

Hazydaze67 Sat 01-Jul-17 14:26:24

I'm glad the general consensus is it's wrong. I was just absolutely gobsmacked that anyone would have the brass neck to openly take something that would have made more money for the school at the Christmas fair. I'm not sure if I should mention it to the Chair of the PTA. I'm sure she doesn't condone this type of behaviour as she is trying really hard to turn around the general feeling that most of the old PTA are on the make. I don't want to appear as if I am criticising her. It sounds as though this does go on elsewhere unfortunately.

Babbaganush Sat 01-Jul-17 14:28:53

It wouldn't happen at the PTA I'm on!!!! Why didn't you stop them / speak up ?

mummymeister Sat 01-Jul-17 14:29:55

you really have to write to the chair of the ptfa and let them know exactly what went on. if you don't then this will happen again and again. there are serial thieves like this everywhere and they just rely on you who has seen them do it, being so gobsmacked that you say nothing and they get away with it.

its theft - pure and simple - and it needs calling out and stopping.

Borangeisthenneworange Sat 01-Jul-17 15:15:24

If you put in an official complaint to the pta chair and send a copy to school they have to properly address it as a pta is essentially a charity and has criteria it has to adhere to. This is totally unacceptable and basically undermines the pta. I wouldn't be giving to the pta if I saw this happening and not being dealt with.

kissmethere Sat 01-Jul-17 16:00:35

Yes definitely complain to the pta. She's got some neck!

muddlefuck Sat 01-Jul-17 16:06:00

Well why didn't you take them out of her hands if she didn't listen to you?! I would be proper pissed off I've I'd paid for a chance to win and saw you letting her do that

FizzyGreenWater Sat 01-Jul-17 16:17:58

Yes, write to pta chair.

As others have said - it undermines, and if I saw that happening I'd be damned if I ever donated a thing to them again!

Hazydaze67 Sat 01-Jul-17 17:41:02

Thank you to everyone who has commented. I am going to make a complaint although I suspect it will be brushed under the carpet because a friend of my, who was the deputy last year, made a complaint to the headteacher about money that had gone missing and nothing was done about it.

kali110 Sat 01-Jul-17 17:44:24

Yes i would, id state that one refused to pay and that the other basically took an item worth £40 for £2.

Flatt7 Sat 01-Jul-17 17:47:56

You don't know her circumstances. She said she really needs it...maybe she really does? Maybe she is struggling? I would try to chat to her and ask her how she is. You can mention this thing as a reason for your concern. That way if she IS struggling she could let you know. And if she is just greedy she will realise it wasn't acceptable.

PratStick Sat 01-Jul-17 17:55:54

I wouldn't say anything about the first person as she might have directly donated the money to the main pot or actually forgot or gave some of her own money on something else.

Second one is a thieving pos. report to head

PratStick Sat 01-Jul-17 17:56:39

Unless the prize was food how could she have 'really needed' it? confused

kali110 Sat 01-Jul-17 17:57:01

Doesn't give her the excuse to steal confused

AlexaAmbidextra Sat 01-Jul-17 17:58:22

Flatt7 FFS! Bleeding heart apologist much?

CockacidalManiac Sat 01-Jul-17 18:01:51

You don't know her circumstances. She said she really needs it...maybe she really does? Maybe she is struggling? I would try to chat to her and ask her how she is. You can mention this thing as a reason for your concern. That way if she IS struggling she could let you know. And if she is just greedy she will realise it wasn't acceptable.

What the actual fuck?!

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