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Sexual harassment from female manager

(35 Posts)
grungeneverdied Thu 29-Jun-17 23:20:50

I have a manager who is female (I'm male by the way) she is a few years younger then me and gets a lot of male attention in the work place. I am an expectant father and in a serious committed relationship. I show this woman no attention other then work related yet she seems to turn every conversation sexually explicit, she's very touchy around me (hands on my arm, reaching out to touch my hand when I walk past, just generally touching me as she talks) and has actually as of today slapped my bum as I walked past and told me she felt quite excited by it. I'm seriously considering mentioning this to someone as it's making me uncomfortable and is not stopping even though I've mentioned that I don't find it funny and I'm ignoring it. Is this just being playful or is this more like harassment? Am I overreacting?

Mammylamb Thu 29-Jun-17 23:22:56

You are not overreacting. Speak to HR about this

KindleBueno Thu 29-Jun-17 23:23:16

No you're not overreacting. It's sexual harassment. I would approach HR

TrishanFlips Thu 29-Jun-17 23:23:54

Tell her to stop it.

BubbleGuppie Thu 29-Jun-17 23:26:20

I'd say its sexual harassment. Have you told her that her actions make you uncomfortable and not just ignored her? I wouldn't say you were over reacting. If this was me and a man did this I would feel very uncomfortable and mention it to someone.

grungeneverdied Thu 29-Jun-17 23:27:29

I've told her twice now in a serious tone that I want her to stop but she laughs it off and walks off.

AyeAmarok Thu 29-Jun-17 23:27:43

has actually as of today slapped my bum as I walked past and told me she felt quite excited by it.

Absolutely unacceptable. That is sexual harassment, along with extremely unprofessional and cringe-worthingly desperate.

Report to HR.

Does she do it to anyone else?

BubbleGuppie Thu 29-Jun-17 23:29:09

Definitely go HR. Its bang out of order.

GotToGetMyFingerOut Thu 29-Jun-17 23:29:42

What an absolute creep. Yes it's sexual harassment. Absolutely report her.

VestalVirgin Thu 29-Jun-17 23:31:34

Harrassment. You told her you don't like it, she continues it.

Even if the behaviour wasn't sexual, that would at the very least be rude, not "playful".

VestalVirgin Thu 29-Jun-17 23:32:54

Does she do it to anyone else?

Seems to me that everyone else is giving her "lots of male attention" and perhaps she targets OP because he doesn't pay her attention.

grungeneverdied Thu 29-Jun-17 23:32:55

She's definitely friendly with my other colleagues but even they have commented on how she acts around me. It's become a bit of a work joke amongst the guys. I'm going to speak with HR tomorrow and see what the options are.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops Thu 29-Jun-17 23:33:37

Go to HR. Start keeping a record of incidents- and whether other people comment or notice. She's been asked twice to back off. Did you warn her you'd complain? Make it clear that this will be your next step

Aquamarine1029 Thu 29-Jun-17 23:36:25

You need to report this behaviour and don't doubt that fact for one minute. This woman is sexually harassing you and it can not be tolerated.

Gingerandgivingzerofucks Thu 29-Jun-17 23:41:33

Report officially. You don't want her trying to turn this round and saying you were complicit.

grungeneverdied Thu 29-Jun-17 23:51:24

I am definitely going to report it first thing tomorrow morning, I have two colleagues who I know will validate my story as they have witnessed it first hand. Thanks for the advice people I'm glad it was considered as serious as I thought as it's made me feel very uneasy at work.

Flyinggeese Thu 29-Jun-17 23:55:58

No doubt about it OP this is unacceptable. Awful. Definitely report formally to HR, you have a clear case. She sounds a nightmare.

nocoolnamesleft Fri 30-Jun-17 00:03:50

Agree that this is sexual harassment. Totally inappropriate. I hope that HR take this appropriately seriously.

Draenei Fri 30-Jun-17 00:04:12

It doesn't matter if your manager is male or female. Harassment is harassment.

grungeneverdied Fri 30-Jun-17 12:35:57

Update I spoke with HR department and they are taking it very serious and have called her in for a meeting at the head offices today. Hopefully that will be the end of it. Thanks for all the replies.

Questioningeverything Fri 30-Jun-17 12:39:08

I really hope they come down hard on her. Sexual harassment is never acceptable and should never be excused or ignored. They absolutely must take this seriously, I'm so glad you reported it.

NicolasFlamel Fri 30-Jun-17 12:41:53

Well done OP. I hope that puts a stop to it. You shouldn't have had to deal with that in your place of work.

Smarshian Fri 30-Jun-17 12:46:52

Well done OP. A (female) manager at my work also was harassing some members of our team in a similar way and was taken very seriously by hr. hopefully this will be the end of it for you

notanevilstepmother Fri 30-Jun-17 12:53:17

I'm pleased you have got it sorted. Some people think it's somehow ok to behave like that and it really isn't. Doesn't matter if it's a woman doing it to a man or the other way round or the same gender. It's out of order.

harderandharder2breathe Fri 30-Jun-17 12:55:09

Glad you complained and glad HR are taking it seriously OP, too often sexual harassment is trivialised, I suspect even more so if it's a woman harassing a man

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