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AIBU?

For wanting to take a picture of my son and his friends for the end of term

53 replies

rabbit12345 · 29/06/2017 06:41

I dropped my year 6 son off on his residential trip yesterday and while we waited to be gathered together for instructions, I pulled together a couple of his friends together to take a photo.

One of the school staff then asked me not to take a photo as I was not allowed to take pictures of other people's children. I know the other mums well and One of the other mums were there and the said it was fine but the staff member still said "please don't". Other parents were also told not to.

AIBU for wanting a picture of my boys and his friends?

OP posts:
gamerwidow · 29/06/2017 06:49

No but there may have been children in the class who can't have their picture taken for child protection reasons. They can't let some people be photographed and some not in case they out them.

LindyHemming · 29/06/2017 06:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zippey · 29/06/2017 06:55

If the other parents have said it's fine just over rule her. She doesn't have any authority to stop you.

rabbit12345 · 29/06/2017 06:56

I understand the child protection issues which is why the children were standing against a sign rather than having other children in the background.

There just seems to be no consensus on photo taking. We had sports day two weeks ago and everyone had cameras and video cameras.

OP posts:
somewhereovertherain · 29/06/2017 06:58

It's the usual political correctness bollocks

picknmiss · 29/06/2017 07:09

Bit of a tangent but are the children not allowed to take cameras either on these type of trips? I have some great photos of messing around with my friends on our year 6 residential but that was back in the 90s!

My DS is only 3 so not into any of this just yet, seems a shame not to have any pics of him with his friends though.

Pickerel · 29/06/2017 07:12

It may seem silly to you, but if the teacher asked you politely I think you should just accept that is school policy.

DramaInPyjamas · 29/06/2017 07:15

We have this rule as and when it suits the head teacher, like a previous poster said - use of cameras is allowed at sports day, summer fairs etc.. no photos during school shows, prizegivings etc, but freely allowed straight afterwards with no child ever being removed for protection.

ptumbi · 29/06/2017 07:15

It is a child protection issue - if those pictures (of other children) get online, it could endanger some.

HOWEVER - there is no law about it. It is just a recommendation, and a request. No-one can stop you, just request that you don't.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 29/06/2017 07:19

DramainPyjamas it sounds like your head prohibited photography during performances. Given that it's distracting I don't think that's unreasonable.

Pengggwn · 29/06/2017 07:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anotherdayanotherusername · 29/06/2017 07:21

My Facebook has been full of pics of groups of Year 6 kids off on their trip. Done it myself! Think the school are being OTT. We're allowed to take pics of school events such as sports day or plays but not share on social media. Wouldn't occur to me thst a specific group of friends waiting for a coach came into that category.

DramaInPyjamas · 29/06/2017 07:25

TestingTesting
I'm not particularly bothered about taking photos at school, but if there's going to ban on photography during a performance, then outright ban it - and don't allow every member of the parent council in the reserved front row to snap away with their massive paparazzi-style cameras..

(but parent council problems are a totally different issue for another thread!) Grin

Onthehighseas · 29/06/2017 07:27

Its not just 'political correctness bollocks' though is it? DD and I left a violent relationship in fear of our lives. We werent able to move far away and it was a constant worry that XH might come across a photo of DD which could identify where we were.

TheFirstMrsDV · 29/06/2017 07:28

I have a DS
My ex boss published a photo of him in the local paper and online without my permission. It was against my explicit instructions
I found out when I opened the paper.

The weekend after it was published DC's birth mother turned up at 2am banging on my door demanding I give her son back.
DC is 14 and she has not seen him since he was two. He is legally adopted.
We had to call the police and seek legal advice.
DS was witness to it all.

My DS has ASD. I will leave it to your imagination what the fallout from that one photo has been.

Goodgriefisitginfizzoclock · 29/06/2017 07:30

There may well be children who have CP issues surrounding them, some parents who are denied access for very good reasons go to amazing lengths to find out where there children are and therefore where the other parent is, think DV. Not massive for you but could be for them, please don't do it if asked not too.

UnbornMortificado · 29/06/2017 07:37

I can't have DD2's photo took in her school uniform come September as her bio-dad could be at risk of trying to snatch her.

There is much more serious reasons then mine (like MrsD's example) for kids not being photographed.

I get it's nice to have school photos of our DC's but not when it's putting other children at risk of god knows what.

Ceto · 29/06/2017 07:47

It's the usual political correctness bollocks

-- says someone who plainly has no understanding of what political correctness is.

GrumpyOldBag · 29/06/2017 07:52

YABU.

You are in danger of being seen as "that parent" who thinks you always know better than the school staff. Why not just let them do their jobs?

You want your children to understand that at school they have to follow rules - even if they don't agree with them. Well so do you. Set an example.

VintagePerfumista · 29/06/2017 07:55

Thank goodness MrsDV and others who actually know what they are talking about have posted.

To counteract the political correctness bollocks, bollocks.

iamUberA · 29/06/2017 07:59

I can't have dd online or in papers as her birth father would find her.
There's lots of different reasons, not just the school being difficult.

whatsleep · 29/06/2017 08:10

Part of the problem is people's ability to post on social media. It's not generally taking photos that's the problem but once people pop them on Facebook, they are 'liked' by friends and complete strangers to you can then view them. The school will have their own photo permission policy, so for you to take photos of kids during a time when the school are responsible for them, could leave them wide open as you could, unintentionally, break the agreement they have with the children's parents.

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Decaffstilltastesweird · 29/06/2017 08:11

Yabu for the child protection reasons pps have mentioned and also what grumpy said.

I'm sure you'll get over not having the photo you wanted. If your dc is really friendly with these other children then I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities to take a picture of them outside of school if you really want. If he's not that friendly with them, then why would you even want a photo of them?

WomblingThree · 29/06/2017 08:15

Which I quite understand @iamUberA (and sympathise with) but why not ban all picture taking. It's the inconsistency that would bug me.

OP has already said they allowed it at sports day. Im not minimising your issues, I'm not seeing the difference.

@TheFirstMrsDV how on earth did someone find out your address from a photo in the paper??

Winnsy · 29/06/2017 08:15

Oh FFS, it's nothing to do with political correctness. What a ridiculous thing to say.

My school is close to a refuge and I have taught plenty of children over the years who have fled the most horrendous abuse.

Our parents are not allowed to use their phones at all on the school site when they drop off and pick up their children as it makes it difficult to monitor photos being taken.

On some special occasions, we allow parents to take individual photos of their own child against a non-identifiable background (e.g. in their nativity costume against part of the nativity set) but parents are never able to take photos with other children in, even in the background.
We also have a school photographer who will take photos of events like sports day. He then checks these photos off against our photo permission slips that every parent signs, takes out any photos with our vulnerable children, and puts them on the website for parents to see/access.

We have a duty to protect our children. It's the idiots that shout 'political correctness' that think it's fine to take a photo of a group of children in the school show.
They are the same idiots who then think it's fine to put that photo on Facebook to show off how 'adorable' their child is.
And they are also the same idiots who are responsible when that photo gets shared by family in other counties and thus spotted by a friend of the abuser who alerts them to where their children are.

So no, nothing to do with being PC and everything to do with protecting the children we teach.

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