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AIBU?

AIBU to be this angry with my horrible bully of a boss?

13 replies

pixieindisguise · 27/06/2017 21:37

About 8 months ago, I started working for a large, well known company. I really thought it was the right move for me and was sure it was going to be a great, forward-thinking company.

From day one I knew I had made a massive mistake.

I have never worked for such an old fashioned, backwards company. Their policies are bordering on unfair, their processes are long winded and archaic - but worst of all, they have a horrible culture of putting managers on pedestals. No-one will ever admit that a manager has made a mistake, instead they tiptoe around the issue and wouldn't dare let the manager know that they have done something wrong. Instead they prefer to put the blame on anyone who is 'lower in rank'. There is a lot of ass kissing and I am not that kind of person! I just can't be fake, I can't suck up to people like that. Instead I want to highlight mistakes and have been hushed so many times. The blame always seems to come back on to my team, when clearly it is someone else's error. This happens on an almost weekly basis. We are constantly being criticised, spoken to rudely, our opinions are dismissed and when we try to defend ourselves and show that it wasn't actually us that caused the problem, all we seem to hear is 'but you need to take ownership'.

I went on holiday for a week and came back thinking I wasn't going to let myself get sucked in to all this negativity again, that I would rise above it. But two days in, and already my work is being questioned again. Without going into specifics, something should have been picked up in November and wasn't (bear in mind that I only started working there in November). I then questioned this about a month ago and discovered that it had been missed back in November. As a result it has all now come out and management are annoyed and questioning why it wasn't picked up at the time.

They basically stand by my boss' desk asking all these questions, I can hear everything. Then she asks me to forward her any email 'evidence' that I have. And they stand there saying that it's no good, it should have been picked up earlier and why wasn't it picked up earlier...and my boss just agrees with them. And I am sat at my desk rolling my eyes, trying not to get sucked into the drama. I know that I did nothing wrong and it was actually one of the managers complaining that had a large part to play in this being missed. But I kept thinking 'just let it roll over you, don't rise to it, you did nothing wrong...'

But you know what, WIBU to actually stand up to the bullies and say enough is enough? Why should I just let them keep on shifting blame to us? And please can I have some tips on dealing with this in a calm manner (I have a tendency to be a bit too passionate and over emotional at times like this Blush).

OP posts:
MipMipMip · 27/06/2017 22:07

I'm afraid with a company like this your only option is to go job hunting. You would be managed out (or fired - you're under two years) if you try to introduce some sense into the place.

pixieindisguise · 28/06/2017 05:34

Yes, that is my fear with people in management like that. Angry

The job hunt continues.

OP posts:
londonrach · 28/06/2017 06:00

Sadly one answer to this...good luck on the job hunt op. X

scaryclown · 28/06/2017 06:02

I agree with moving , I've worked in a few environments like this and some that have become like that because on person starts the, 'it's not my fault it's yours' stuff and infects everyone else. the energy put into proving people wrong and avoiding blame and trying to be in charge by putting others down is completely draining.

Stressalot42 · 28/06/2017 06:07

Gosh, you could be describing me!

I've never worked in such an awful environment where it's such a blame culture (but never ever the hierarchy).

The rules they have for "staff" are intolerable and they will not in any way relax. They have no rules.

It's utterly draining and depressing quite honestly.

Im starting to job hunt!

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 28/06/2017 06:08

How are they bullying you?

BigYellowJumper · 28/06/2017 06:11

I worked in a similar place and after three years, I had no confidence left.

I'd start the job hunt now before you feel the same.

LindyHemming · 28/06/2017 06:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

redexpat · 28/06/2017 06:46

Get out!

Nanna50 · 28/06/2017 07:02

I agree, start the job hunt and leave them with the staff they deserve. It is very hard not to be drawn into the negativity that drips from a bad manager. It can be exhausting and you end up feeling demoralised rather than inspired.

TooStressyForMyOwnGood · 28/06/2017 07:11

Sadly I know the only realistic option is to leave somewhere like this as soon as possible.

magicstar1 · 28/06/2017 07:37

I had this once...I discovered a mistake and sent the evidence to a manager who said he'd deal with it. He held on to it for two months, then went to the CEO claiming he'd just discovered the error and that it was all my fault. The difference in my place was that I showed it was from 6 months before I started and the CEO backed me up.
If you don't have anyone to back you up, he only solution is to leave. The frustration will kill you otherwise.

pixieindisguise · 28/06/2017 19:36

Thanks for the replies. Its really got me down today. I have been job hunting for a while now and struggling to find something. The problem is that like someone else said, my confidence has really been dented. The constant blame throwing makes me question sometimes whether I really am shit at my job, my boss has implied that I'm not cut out for the environment, that I don't have the right personality and I guess it has affected me mentally more than I want to admit.

Sorry that some of you have experienced the same Sad

OP posts:
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