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AIBU?

to complain about this?

28 replies

Muir23 · 27/06/2017 16:25

Hi,
Genuinely looking for people's opinions on this, please. Sorry, quite a long post.

We live in a semi-detached house, and our neighbours bought their house around 10 months ago. For the last 8 months they have been completely renovating it (and haven't been living there). In the early months this involved work every day (not sure of the hours as we were out at work), but a few times work has started before 8am and continued after 6pm. These times we have been round to complain (and had very offhand responses). The work has involved a huge amount of drilling, with a hammer drill, into our shared wall.

I am currently 39 weeks pregnant with 2nd DC and on maternity leave. This afternoon I was sitting in our living room and the drilling started again (incredibly loud, although only for about 20 mins on and off). I went round to ask how much longer it was likely to go on for (not just today, but if it would be another few weeks on and off). Our neighbour answered the door and proceeded to have a huge go at me for 'complaining again', saying that we have had work done too (our kitchen in the last few weeks but that's on the other side of the house and didn't really involve drilling) and that soon our new baby will be keeping them up.

Now feeling quite shaky and anxious as he was extremely aggressive and slammed the door in my face. AIBU to have gone round today?

Thanks

OP posts:
ArtemisiaGentilleschi · 27/06/2017 16:28

You can't stop people from working during the day!
I suppose all your complaining will prepare you for when your baby keeps them awake all hours and they come round to you.

AnnetteCurtains · 27/06/2017 16:29

Hope you are ok OP
It wouldn't have hurt them to let you know how much longer the work would take
They are prats

ChocolateButton15 · 27/06/2017 16:31

Going around today yes because they aren't doing anything wrong doing it in the day time. I can understand why they got annoyed with you today! If they are doing it before 8am no you aren't unreasonable. You probably wouldn't like it if they start coming round if the baby wakes them up.

MyheartbelongstoG · 27/06/2017 16:32

Yes, you were being unreasonable.

How ridiculous to knock on the door during the day and complain about the noise!

Muir23 · 27/06/2017 16:36

I guess my main reason for going round was to try to find out roughly how much longer the work was going to go on for, not really to complain about today, but he wouldn't talk to me. Just feeling scared about living next door to these people now, being on my own in the house with two small children, and what he might do

OP posts:
Muir23 · 27/06/2017 16:36

Thanks for the responses

OP posts:
HipsterHunter · 27/06/2017 16:39

I don't think it is U to go and ask how long the noisy drilling is going to go on for - cos then if they say "all day" you can go out for a walk, cafe whatever. If they say "just another 30 mins" you can stop in.

Whosthemummynow · 27/06/2017 16:39

being on my own in the house with two small children, and what he might do

Really?
I think your over dramatising
Stop going round and complaining about things you have no right to complain about

DragonBone · 27/06/2017 16:40

By law building sites are not allowed to operated (other than trades unloading and getting ready) before 8am, and not after 5pm. On a Saturday by law works must finish by 1pm.
(My DH is a site manager)

Phosphorus · 27/06/2017 16:40

He's not actually likely to do anything other than get his work done. Hmm

You went around to his house, he didn't randomly show up at yours being aggressive. In fact he just sounded exasperated.

WorraLiberty · 27/06/2017 16:42

What do you mean by 'What he might do'?

Muir23 · 27/06/2017 16:42

Thanks @DragonBone for the info.

OP posts:
ArtemisiaGentilleschi · 27/06/2017 16:44

I presume he's going to be out at work or carrying on with his building work.
This is about the 3rd thread in as many days where people are suddenly terrified of their neighbours.
In all seriousness what do you think he's going to do?

pasturesgreen · 27/06/2017 16:46

I think you may be overdramatising a bit, he's unlikely to do anything at all really.

Noise from building work in the daytime is unfortunately part and parcel of having neighbours. Yes, it's annoying, but as long as they're keeping to normal hours there's not much you can do.

And you'll need a modicum of goodwill from them with a DC and a newborn on the way.

Coddiwomple · 27/06/2017 16:47

It's sad that so many people are so inconsiderate. I don't think you were BU to ask how long it would last, but as long as it's not illegal, so many don't seem to care.

One of my neighbour came to ask me what time my youngest were having a nap, to tell his guys not to make noise at that time. There was no law to make him ask, he was just being decent.

It's depressing, once he moves in, you could keep wake him up every time the baby is crying (instead of taking the baby on the other side of the house), allow the kids to make as much noise as they want from 5am, (you cannot complain against children noise in this country, as ridiculous as that sounds), whilst he has the music on until 11pm. What's the point of these petty wars?

If he is not remotely apologetic after 8 months of building work!, then good luck, he sounds awful.

Mothervulva · 27/06/2017 16:55

I don't think it's U to ask how long it goes on for, I guess it's your tone that matters.

I get it though, I'm a SAHP and there's nearly always someone drilling or doing a loft conversion. I've not complained obviously, but some days when it goes on and on it starts to grate a bit.

Mothervulva · 27/06/2017 16:56

Also, 8 months!

Dig your cellar out once they've moved in, that's pretty annoying.

Muir23 · 27/06/2017 16:57

Thanks everyone for your responses

OP posts:
BuckwheatBertha · 27/06/2017 17:02

Totally understand you feeling bit wobbly - try not to worry about it. It wouldn't have hurt for them to tell you how long. At least this way you won't feel as bad if the new baby keeps them up.

Ginslinger · 27/06/2017 17:06

I don't think you've been at all unreasonable if you just asked a question and weren't overly confrontational - I think he's behaving quite defensively - plus there's no need to be aggressive to any one but certainly not a heavily pregnant woman.

Muir23 · 27/06/2017 17:08

Thank you for the kind words too

OP posts:
A1Sharon · 27/06/2017 17:08

My Mum and Dad back on to millionaire row. The people over the wall are very nice, but the minute the kids are out of school they are off to a holiday home they have.
Then the builders move in. Converting the stables to staff acc. one summer, extension the next summer, doing up the house next to M&D complete refurb the next summer (bought for family member).
My mum was sick of it, every summer the noise and racket from builders etc. She went around and said that it was ok for them, they were away all summer, but her and dad couldn't enjoy their garden in the summer and were woken up early by builders all the time etc.
She is no shrinking violet!
Anyway, they said fair enough. And that was that.
8 months straight is a lot for people to put up with, they should have been round at some stage to say sorry for the inconvenience etc, maybe bring a treat or something? Just polite.

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drummergirl34 · 27/06/2017 17:12

You say work has been going on for eight months, but only a few times did it start before 8am. I'd say that's reasonable with the (sometimes unexpected) nature of renovation. If the neighbours have moved back in, then maybe the work is almost done?

SummerKelly · 27/06/2017 17:14

YANBU, 8 months is a long time. My neighbours were renovating for a year and sometimes I would sit and cry with the constant noise as I was trying to work. There's no need for anyone to be aggressive, particularly as you're obviously pregnant. Maybe he's feeling a bit defensive because he knows it's crap. I would get anxious about it too, I grew up with a lot of aggression and violence so maybe it affects me more than it would affect others, I think we can't judge how other people might react to the same thing based on our own experiences.

ArtemisiaGentilleschi · 27/06/2017 17:16

The OP said they'd been disturbed only a couple of times as when the builders were there every day she and her husband were at work.
It IS a nightmare, I do understand that, (I live in a flat) but the neighbours do have the right to knock their house around.
How many times have you complained?

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