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AIBU?

to ask them to keep ONE bathroom clean?

21 replies

Pikachuwithyourmouthclosed · 27/06/2017 03:08

I really don't think I'm being unreasonable here (prepares to have arse handed to her.. Grin)

We have 2 bathrooms. I'm the only one who uses the crappy ensuite upstairs, and everyone else uses the big family bathroom downstairs. A while back I told everyone that I'd put everything they needed to keep the bathroom clean in the cupboard, and could they please keep it clean. All agreed. Bathroom became disgusting. I said VERY CLEARLY to everyone in the family that I expected them to keep it clean, and that THIS INCLUDED me not having to remind them to do it. I pointed out that I do everyfuckingthing else, and that between the four of them they could manage to keep clean one room that they all use daily.

It's filthy again.

Now obviously it would be much simpler, easier and less stressful to clean the bathroom myself. But... surely it's not totally unreasonable to ask them to do it?? And I'm not wrong in thinking that me having to remind them to clean it DOESN'T COUNT as them taking responsibility??

So, if you don't think IABU, what's my next move? I just want it to be reasonably clean, all the time like I manage to keep the rest of the fucking house Hmm.

OP posts:
Gemzb85 · 27/06/2017 03:40

I don't think yabu at all. I am going through similar with my daughter. Also giving attitude at every opportunity so I am not letting her on the pc or phone until she has done a job for me every day. I'm sure someone will be along to give you better advice but just know I feel your pain Angry

KoalaDownUnder · 27/06/2017 03:42

YANBU.

They obviously don't care enough to clean the bathroom just because you asked them to, which is disrespectful and lazy. So you're going to have to give them an incentive to want to clean the bathroom.

Need a lift somewhere? Go clean the bathroom.

Want some money for something? Clean the bathroom and I'll think about it.

Etc.

Chloe84 · 27/06/2017 07:16

Could you give them consequences? Stop cooking and doing washing for them!

Or give them a weekly rota so you know who is not pulling their weight.

PurpleDaisies · 27/06/2017 07:18

You need a rota. Vague "someone must keep this clean" obviously doesn't work.

NoSquirrels · 27/06/2017 08:04

Note on the door: Clean this bathroom or I'll stop doing X/remove wifi password/etc

Whatever will hit them! Refuse to discuss it too. Just the note.

CasperGutman · 27/06/2017 08:07

The fact that there are four of them should mean it's easy for them to clean the bathroom, but in reality it just means they all hope someone else will do it. It's like they tell you on first aid courses - if you need someone to call an ambulance, don't say "Someone please call an ambulance," say "You in the red T-shirt, please call an ambulance."

Either give them a rota or choose one of them to take responsibility for delegating tasks to the others (your OH if he/she is one of them? Or the oldest child? Or maybe the youngest child, as they might take more pride in being given the responsibility!).

CountryCaterpillar · 27/06/2017 08:09

vague "keep this clean" won't work.

They need to know what to do and how often.

Maybe a weekly tick sheet behind the door or a rota. If it's several kids they'll agree in principle but all think someone else should.
They may not think it needs it as often as you do.

It's a bit like saying "let's meet for coffee" but not linking down a date.

I'd sit down with them and discuss how often they think it needs doing and do a rota for the door. Spell it all out and then you've got something to go back to when you next notice it's a mess!! Stuff that's obvious to us really isn't obvious to teenagers/people who don't usually do what we do.

CountryCaterpillar · 27/06/2017 08:10

Ah cross posts saying the same thing!!

ems137 · 27/06/2017 08:24

We have a downstairs toilet that only DH and DS use. It was disgusting most of the time and I was sick of feeling disrespected having to clean it up all the time.

I bought toilet wipes, bleach and bloo blocks and told them to keep it clean or I'd stop cooking them tea. The toilet is now nearly always perfectly clean.

Pikachuwithyourmouthclosed · 28/06/2017 04:12

Thank you all for the YANBU.

I realised that it wasn't clear from my OP that dh is one of the four people using (and failing to clean) the bathroom, so it's not just a bunch of directionless kids. I feel like he should be capable of organising the kids so that it gets done...

Anyway, I brought it up and suggested that they make a rota to ensure that it is consistently clean. Was met by righteous indignance. Apparently they HAVE been keeping it clean!! DH is sure that he wiped the sink 4 days ago and cleaned the loo last week (but admits he didn't also wipe the side). ds insists he wiped wee off the loo seat a few days ago. One dd says that she has moved her toothbrush into my bathroom anyway because it's nicer (it isn't, it's just cleaner). Then they all agreed that my cat spills biscuits in there anyway, plus I put a shopping bag in the bath, so really it's not just their mess...

They made me laugh. I think that even if the bathroom is less than delightfult, the fact that they genuinely believe that they're putting in the effort makes it okay. I can teach them how to clean it. At least they're not just totally disregarding my request.

OP posts:
Chloe84 · 28/06/2017 04:53

I don't think they genuinely believe they're putting in the effort, OP. How can they be if it's filthy.

They're just going to start using your bathroom, like your dd.

Why can't DH teach them to clean the bathroom? He's a grown man.

Pengggwn · 28/06/2017 06:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PurpleDaisies · 28/06/2017 07:20

I'm sorry op but that's such a cop out. If it's filthy they need to learn to clean it better. I can't believe four people taking their job seriously would still end up with a dirty bathroom after cleaning it.

chipscheeseandgravy · 28/06/2017 09:54

Maybe change the wifi password weekly, it's only provided once the bathroom is clean. If you feel it's got to an unacceptable standard the wifi password is yet again changed Grin

chipscheeseandgravy · 28/06/2017 09:56

But show then how to clean it properly, so which products/wipes etc should be used and that cleaning also means emptying bin, moping/hoovering floor etc.

Wormulonian · 28/06/2017 10:00

As others have said you need a rota. You may also have to make a list and pin it up of exactly what needs to be done - item by item.

My H after 30 years still argues that toilets are "self cleaning" as that is what the flush is for!

BeepBeepMOVE · 28/06/2017 10:00

Why are you stressed by it? You don't use it and don't need to go in there. Just leave them to it.

SecretFreebirther · 28/06/2017 10:11

My older kids have a bathroom on the top floor and I said the same to them. It's always disgusting because dd doesn't ever want to clean ds's pee off the seat, no one wants to clean the others toothpaste spit off the side of the sink, pick up tissues that missed the bin etc....Either give them very specific jobs or just don't go in there!

titsbumfannythelot · 28/06/2017 19:13

How old are they? If they are old enough to get pocket money? Would suggesting paying the money to a cleaner to tidy up improve things?

Pikachuwithyourmouthclosed · 28/06/2017 23:02

Thing is, once I start making rotas and withholding wifi passwords it's more of a faff than just cleaning the bathroom in the first place.

It's looking much better after my second prod. 11 yo Dd cleaned the basin this morning (I know this because she proudly came and told me!)

OP posts:
FeckinCrutches · 28/06/2017 23:07

Shut the door, ignore! Why is it stressing you out if you don't use it?

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