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To do what I want to on my birthday?

(26 Posts)
mumthatruns Mon 26-Jun-17 18:57:55

Probably am BU but just wanted to have a little vent!

I have today and tomorrow off work, I only work the 2 days as I have DS (2) the rest of the week with me. Tomorrow is my birthday.

I've got a leisurely day planned, run in the morning, long uninterrupted shower, lazy breakfast then I've got an appointment I've made that I'm actually looking forward to going to without worrying about entertaining a toddler at the same time. Just the running shop to get my stride assessed, but involves (obviously!) running on a treadmill in the shop, listening to the advisors, trying on shoes etc etc so boring if you're 2!

I made this appointment on the basis that my DH was going to try and get some time off work during the day so we can go to the cinema. His work have just restored one and we'd have it to ourselves. Would be lovely, only he's not been able to get it. So I made my appointment.

He comes home just now saying he's got it for tomorrow at 12.15. My appointment is at 12.00 and it's a 45min drive away from the cinema.
He also won't tell me what we'd be watching, only that I will "find out tomorrow".

He's now in a strop because I've asked if we have to do it at that time, is it flexible because I've actually made plans. To do what I want to do on my birthday.
His argument is I've had that today. Well I've not, I've cleaned the flat, done all the laundry, folded and put it all away, I've cooked dinner and I've had a doctors appointment (who was running 30mins late! Grr!!) along with a few other jobs that are easier when you have the flat to yourself, so actually on one of my child free days I've done nothing for myself.

He's in a right strop because "it's taken a lot of work to get the cinema!" And I told him I appreciate the thought, but if he's just told me it was back on I wouldn't have made plans!

AIBU to actually do what I want to do on my child free birthday tomorrow? Or am I being a cow for not appreciating the sentiment.

Sorry for the rant!! He's going to be like a sulky teenager for the rest of the day today now.

Squirmy65ghyg Mon 26-Jun-17 18:59:34

He's a prick.

Crunchymum Mon 26-Jun-17 19:01:31

Did he know your appointment time?

Personally I'd rearrange the running appointment and take advantage of the cinema.

mumthatruns Mon 26-Jun-17 19:02:51

If he'd given me a bit of warning I could've called them before they shut.

I might have to call them in the morning and re-arrange just for a quiet life!

BenLui Mon 26-Jun-17 19:03:35

You aren't being unreasonable but in the circumstances I'd rearrange the running appointment for a Saturday and he looks after your DC while you go.

kaytee87 Mon 26-Jun-17 19:05:36

To be fair to him you'd asked him (or at least the plan was) that you'd go to the cinema. He didn't think he could get it sorted but has now managed so he must be a bit put out that you're blowing him off now.
Did he know you'd made an appointment? I would defo change an appointment like that to go to the cinema instead.
I'd be a bit upset if my dh would rather go to a running shop than to the cinema with me.

PinkHeart5911 Mon 26-Jun-17 19:06:07

It's your birthday, you do what you like if you wish but I have to say I'd go and enjoy the cinema being empty and not having other people's noise

When did he find out he had the day off and could use the cinema? If he only found out today I'd definitely cancel the appointment and go along. If he knew last week and didn't tell me I'd keep the appointment

mumthatruns Mon 26-Jun-17 19:06:20

@BenLui Saturday is the DS swimming lessons, and it's apparently my turn to take him this week as DH did the lesson just gone.

mumthatruns Mon 26-Jun-17 19:07:41

@PinkHeart5911 he doesn't have the day off. He's using his lunch break, so I am potentially going to be watching most of a film myself as he only gets 45mins for lunch.

I don't even know what the film is!

kaytee87 Mon 26-Jun-17 19:07:41

I'm sure neither the cinema or the swimming lessons will take al day so you could either rearrange for a different time tomorrow or for before or after the lesson on Saturday.
I think you're making this into a bigger deal than it has to be if I'm honest. Are there other issues here?

GlitterRoseGold Mon 26-Jun-17 19:09:08

Perhaps he wants it to be a lovely surprise maybe a little romantic, could that be why he's so annoyed

mumthatruns Mon 26-Jun-17 19:09:44

@kaytee87 no other issues. Just that I was looking forward to having a lazy quiet day to myself, wasn't prepared for a chunk in the middle of my day to be taken up with something I don't really want to do.

If he told me what we were seeing it might make a difference, but if he's picked the film it's probably going to be Star Trek or similar

mumthatruns Mon 26-Jun-17 19:11:07

Opinion is cinema then.

Ok. I'll try and call the running shop in the morning and rearrange.

Then try and stay awake in the cinema.

kaytee87 Mon 26-Jun-17 19:12:02

If you didn't want to go to the cinema with him why not tell him that before he arranged it?
In your op you said it would be lovely.
I'm confused now.

SeaCabbage Mon 26-Jun-17 19:21:53

Is he really only going to get 45 minutes lunch break? So it isn't really the romantic time you suggested in your OP?

kaytee87 Mon 26-Jun-17 19:24:34

I think he must have something planned or he wouldn't be put out at the thought of cancelling or cagey about the film.

mumthatruns Mon 26-Jun-17 19:25:19

@kaytee87 his original plan was we'd get a babysitter and do it tomorrow evening, which would've been lovely.

The only time he's managed to negotiate it with work is if he uses his lunch break now so it is at 12.15 now.

He does only get a 45min lunch break so I'm not sure if he's managed to get a longer lunch and work late to make up for that, he didn't say. I just know his lunch break is 45mins.

mumthatruns Mon 26-Jun-17 19:27:19

He's just text me to apologise for snapping.

I've told him I'll try and rearrange my appointment, I however haven't guaranteed I will stay awake. I always fall asleep in the cinema. It's the chairs! 😂

Crunchymum Mon 26-Jun-17 19:35:39

Having read the rest of the thread (him being in a strop, you agreeing to cinema for an easy life, him picking the film and not telling you what it is and him not going to be there for the whole duration of the film) I'd forget about the cinema altogether.

PinkHeart5911 Mon 26-Jun-17 19:43:49

In that case mumthatruns stick to your plans for the day. Your be watching most the film alone anyway so what's the point?

LiveLongAndProspero Mon 26-Jun-17 19:47:41

You wanted him to get time off work and organise a film in a private cinema, just for you on your birthday....and now he has done exactly that and you're mad at him?

Jaysus. Hard work or what?

The shop is trying to flog you shoes, you can go in before or after the cinema.

SaucyJack Mon 26-Jun-17 19:53:57

Why did you agree with him that it would be lovely to try and sort out the cinema for your birthday afternoon when that isn't what you want to do?

mumthatruns Mon 26-Jun-17 20:04:07

@LiveLongAndProspero I didn't ask him to take time off work or organise the cinema. You didn't read the thread properly did you?

His original plan was the evening tomorrow after work. Couldn't do that so said it was off we'd do something else instead. He's come home today and said he can do it during the day.

I didn't ask him to do anything, hence me making plans for myself

mumthatruns Mon 26-Jun-17 20:04:56

@SaucyJack it was all his idea completely. I've had no input at all

LiveLongAndProspero Mon 26-Jun-17 20:24:08

Er, I have. Your OP:

I made this appointment on the basis that my DH was going to try and get some time off work during the day so we can go to the cinema. His work have just restored one and we'd have it to ourselves. Would be lovely, only he's not been able to get it

Certainly looks like you made a plan to do that on your birthday?

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