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AIBU?

To have told DP that it's nobody else's fault that he's fat?

219 replies

TMaysSexyLegs · 26/06/2017 14:56

DP recently went on a training team building weekend with work. He kept texting me whilst there saying he was hating it and considering coming home.
Anyway once home he told me that he had been made to carry heavy stuff around all weekend and walk and run long distances with no regards to his health and he felt he was going to have a heart attack, which nobody cared about. He said he felt unfairly treated and discriminated against. I asked if he'd been made to do more than the others and he said he hadn't, but he had been made to do the same as the others despite his "obvious disability" (being overweight!). I told him being overweight is a reversible condition which he chooses not to reverse and it's not a disability! I also said he should have been expected to do the same as everyone else as it's not their fault he's fat!! Anyway he's decided I have proved his point that overweight people are discriminated against and he's going to raise an official complaint. I said he's unreasonable.

I would have more sympathy if he actually tried to lose weight but struggled to do so but he doesn't even try! A typical Saturday for him is a bacon, sausage and egg buttie (or two!) for breakfast, McDonalds for lunch (two cheese burgers as a STARTER before tucking into a king size Big Mac meal) and a huge dinner. And THEN a takeaway on the night. I have no sympathy at all. He thinks I'm unreasonable and at worse, discriminative. AIBU??!

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 26/06/2017 15:00

YANBU. How are you going to respond to his official complaint?

TrollMummy · 26/06/2017 15:00

YANBU Your DH is responsible for his weight. It is not a disability.

hellobonjour · 26/06/2017 15:00

Oh goodness he is going to go down in flames.

Imagine the indignity of being treated exactly the same as everyone else...the horror!!

Pennywhistle · 26/06/2017 15:02

I can't imagine that complaint is going to go down well at all.

XJerseyGirlX · 26/06/2017 15:03

Tell him to get his head out of his ass and loose some weight if he is clearly struggling to keep up with those around him and not happy about it .. also he was free to go home when he wanted (and not held hostage at the works thing) so he really is being a bit of a dickhead

MelinaMercury · 26/06/2017 15:04

YANBU. I say that as a morbidly obese woman who struggles to keep up the motivation to lose weight.

So, he thinks he's being discriminated because his work mates treated him the same as everyone else... Does he know what discrimination means?

I suspect he would also complain if they told him he wasn't taking part because he was fat!

ErrolTheDragon · 26/06/2017 15:05

YANBU. I would imagine the company will be decidedly unimpressed.

How much did he have to carry and how far did he have to walk, as a matter of interest?

MelinaMercury · 26/06/2017 15:05

*discriminated against

HildaOg · 26/06/2017 15:05

The denial and pathetic inability to take responsibility would repulse me tbh. He sounds like a whiney child. A hugely oversized, self harming one.

Want2beme · 26/06/2017 15:08

YANBU. That's an incredible amount of food to consume in one day. Is he going to make an official complaint about the event organisers or about you?? He's really stuck in a rut, isn't he. Can you persuade him to go to GP or just cut down a little bit. Even eating a little less every day will help him to lose weight.

SashaSashays · 26/06/2017 15:08

Its not a protected characteristic though so he won't have a left to stand on.

pottered · 26/06/2017 15:13

i am cringing for him. My dad recently had a heart attack - he is a couple of stone overweight but he's only alive because he goes to the gym 6 times a week. Better fit and overweight than overweight and sedentary. I'm the latter - my dad is probably fitter than me.

PinkHeart5911 · 26/06/2017 15:15

So he is going to complain that he was treated like everyone else? And wasn't given special treatment for being overweight? What planet does he live on?

Only he is responsible for what he eats/how much he exercises and the weight he is. If he finds doing what everyone done too much maybe his body is sending him a message......

Yanbu

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/06/2017 15:21

You can be fit and overweight. My almost 300 pound friend runs three times a week. And bikes everywhere towing her two children. It's his choice not to be fit.

Weight is more complicated as there can be underlying issues that make it extremely hard to lose. If he's not bothering to try, though, no one else has to make an effort.

ChicRock · 26/06/2017 15:22

I would find his pathetic whineyarse moaning deeply unattractive. I doubt he will actually make a formal complaint though, he was probably expecting you to do lots of sympathising and clucking over him. Boo fucking hoo.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 26/06/2017 15:22

I do object to obesity caused by years of over-eating or sheer piggery, (not medical causes) being referred to as a disability.

There is a cheap and certain cure for most cases of obesity and IMO it's a cruel insult to the genuinely disabled to call it that. E.g. a young relative of my dh has MS, and like so many other genuinely disabled people, I know he'd do anything, modify his lifestyle and diet in any way he could, if it would help.
Sadly it won't.

Coddiwomple · 26/06/2017 15:24

YANBU

If he complains, he is going to kill his career or at least the one within his current company. He will just prove all the negative preconception about fat people at work, and will put off his managers to give him any responsibility or promotion.

He would really be saying that being fat is a valid excuse for being lazy, childish and I could go on. How does he think they will have to react?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 26/06/2017 15:28

Wow. YANBU!

How old is he, OP? Is he not worried about diabetes/heart attack? That's is a seriously large amount of unhealthy food to eat in one day...

Crunchymum · 26/06/2017 15:31

He eats what on an average Saturday?

Fuck me that is a lot of food, and it must cost a lot? The MCD and evening takeaway alone must be £25?

Does he eat less the rest of the week?

PeaFaceMcgee · 26/06/2017 15:31

He sounds repulsive - his attitude, that is.

Namechange2837 · 26/06/2017 15:32

YANBU, what does he say his disability is?! 😕 what a strange mindset to have.
Also, I think if I saw my DH eat that amount of junk food in one day it'd make me feel physically sick and would definitely turn me off him. Presumably he wants to lose weight?

LiveLongAndProspero · 26/06/2017 15:32

You can be fit and overweight

People always say this. Yes, you can of course, but you are far more likely to be unfit if you are overweight. And OP's whiney cry baby of a boyfriend is both overweight and unfit. And a total dick from the sounds of it.

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WonderLime · 26/06/2017 15:33

Who is he planning on complaining to?

If work, I'd make him really consider whether this is worth risking his working reputation presuming he hasn't already made a fool out of himself for some other stupid, petulant behaviour

YANBU!

cottagecheesequeen · 26/06/2017 15:34

I wonder if the weekend was a lightbulb moment?

KatharinaRosalie · 26/06/2017 15:34

"Made"? So he said that 'Oh I can't do it any more, I think I might pass out because I've been busy eating myself to early grave " and the people with what, cattle prods and whips didn't allow him to stop?

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