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AIBU?

To masturbate secretly but married

42 replies

happyfanjosephine · 25/06/2017 16:06

Just that. Happily married. 2 DC. Decent sex life 2-3x per week but still regularly look after myself secretly if I get time in bed alone... is this reasonable? Would DH be upset if he knew. Sometimes he's part of the fantasy sometimes not but have found from a young age it is a good way to relax and go to sleep... I guess in our sex life he 'finishes' more often than I do but I wouldn't attribute that we still have fun and he cares and is loving.... is this normal? Ok?

OP posts:
AnUtterIdiot · 25/06/2017 16:07

This reply has been deleted

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AnUtterIdiot · 25/06/2017 16:08

This reply has been deleted

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Blondielongie · 25/06/2017 16:09

Lol. It's absolutely normal. You think he doesn't do it too? It's your body, it's not cheating!!

toffeeboffin · 25/06/2017 16:10

It's fine.

OccasionalNachos · 25/06/2017 16:10

It is absolutely normal

WorraLiberty · 25/06/2017 16:10

Wanking is completely normal OP

Unless you're doing it on the bus or something

happyfanjosephine · 25/06/2017 16:10

That's exactly the word I was looking for 'cheating' only partly as in betrayal a bit in the sense of taking an easy option sometimes... does that sound bad?

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happyfanjosephine · 25/06/2017 16:11

On the bus LOL!!!

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Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 25/06/2017 16:11

Playing alone is fine.. But if he doesn't make sure you are done during /after sex it's not unreasonable to tell him!! You are entitled to a satisfactory sex life too!!

DJBaggySmalls · 25/06/2017 16:11

If you are masturbating because you dont find sex with him satisfying, tackle the sex part.

SeagullsStoleMyChurro · 25/06/2017 16:13

Totally normal, the masturbation part. But why are you not finishing every time when you have sex?

happyfanjosephine · 25/06/2017 16:13

TBH sometimes I come easily with him... sometimes not but if I asked for him to try and it wasn't working he'd go for hours trying every which way... not always what I want if you know what I mean. I get a happy ending plenty.
I guess I'm a bit greedy...

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MsMarvel · 25/06/2017 16:14

I masterbate regularly alongside a healthy sex life with dp. Dp knows I do it though, but don't think he quite realises the frequency.

Like you mentioned, I do it as a means to relax before going to sleep, I find it helps shut off my brain. So although it is a sexual act, and there is sexual pleasure being achieved, the motives arent really sexual.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 25/06/2017 16:15

It's perfectly normal and it doesn't have to be a secret. You're not greedy; you just have a high sex drive.

happyfanjosephine · 25/06/2017 16:16

True Marvel I'm the same it's almost a way to de compress.

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happyfanjosephine · 25/06/2017 16:29

I do sometimes have multiple men in my fantasies wouldn't want him to feel he has to live up to that might be quite scary in reality.

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DailyMailReadersAreThick · 25/06/2017 16:30

Totally normal.

Sometimes for me it isn't even about feeling horny, it's more about getting those sleepy hormones so I can have a good night's sleep. Sounds like it might be the same for you.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 25/06/2017 16:32

Wanking is completely normal OP

Unless you're doing it on the bus or something

😂 😂

BeepBeepMOVE · 25/06/2017 16:33

Masturbation is normal but I don't think keeping it a secret is. Why can't you be open about it, I'm sure he does it just as much.

happyfanjosephine · 25/06/2017 16:36

Well I'm not sure he does... his comments suggest he saves himself for me... which is very nice. When I'm away I come back to a very horny and 'full' DH!

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RockyBird · 25/06/2017 16:36

I finish many times each time DH and I do it. Still find time to sort myself out when I get the chance Smile not on the bus though

Namechange2837 · 25/06/2017 16:38

of course its normal?

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Elendon · 25/06/2017 16:40

Wanting an orgasm and pleasuring yourself is not greedy, it's perfectly normal. My best orgasms are by myself. It's lovely to share, but it should never be a requirement.

user1495832265 · 25/06/2017 16:41

How old are you?

happyfanjosephine · 25/06/2017 16:43

36

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