AIBU to be still upset after a whole week?

[ElleDubloo]

I went to a hairdresser's to wait for my DH, who was having his hair cut. While I was waiting, one of the cleaning staff popped by to look at my baby, and we made small talk for a while. Then she asked who I was waiting for; I pointed to DH and she said, "Is that your son?"



I said, "What? No... oh dear..." and quickly changed the subject. We chatted for a bit longer and I was very nice to her because I guessed that she might be feeling stupid.

But a week later, it's still bothering me!

DH and I are both 31. People do say that DH looks young, but they say that about me too. But he's bloody 6'2 so exactly how young did she think he is??

Argh, why is this bothering me so much?

(And any tips for me on how to look a bit younger?)

[ShimmeringIce]

Yikes! She wasn't talking about the baby?

Can you describe how you look/what you were wearing? (Guessing you don't want to post a photo).

[Bluntness100]

It's probably as women tend to wait for their sons, not their husbands in barbers, so not age but behaviour related. I would just forget it...

[ElleDubloo]

ShimmeringIce: I'm average height, average build, long hair in a ponytail, less than the average number of wrinkles (I like to think). I take care of my health, don't drink or smoke, though obviously with the baby I haven't been sleeping too well lately... I was wearing a pink blouse and shorts (hot weather).

Bluntness and Navy: Thanks, I hope those are the reasons

[Justmadeperfectflapjacks]

I took my ds (19)to hospital with ds 6 months. . Nurse thought older ds was baby's df!! Just as bad!!

[ElleDubloo]

^Yes, agreed! Though perhaps not a bad reflection on how you look :)

[ElleDubloo]

Sorry. That comment was to flapjacks

[Pigface1]

Are you sure there wasn't some misunderstanding and she was talking about your baby?? Or was there a child near your DH she could have thought you were pointing at?

I'd forget it because it seems like the absolutely oddest thing to say.

However I have so much sympathy - once at a BD event I bumped into a guy I'd been at law school with (so the same age as me). We were chatting and someone he knew from a previous firm he'd worked at wandered over to say hi to him - and looked at me and said 'is this your new boss?' (Seniority in law firms is very much experience- and therefore age-related!) I nearly cried!

[Italiangreyhound]

I am guessing she had no glasses on and just guessed. Most wives don't wait for their husbands at the barbers, I guess.

Let it go.



OR use it as an excuse to buy yourself a fabulous new wardrobe of clothes! But don't let it bring you down.

[ElleDubloo]

Ok, agreed. It was odd and she probably wasn't having a clear-thinking day. I should forget about it and buy myself some flattering new clothes and anti wrinkle cream; I've never before seen the point of anti wrinkle cream but now I will get some

[SilverDragonfly1]

This is exactly the sort of thing I would say. I would MEAN to say 'Is that your partner?' but if I'd been talking about your son immediately before, there is at least a 50% chance it would come out wrong. I am on a couple of different medications which cause this and it's quite likely she was on similar!

If I cleaned in a hairdressers, I would assume this thread was about me, that's how bad it is :/

[happy2bhomely]

I wouldn't think anything of it. People are weird.

I was 22 and with my 16 year old sister and a man asked if she was my daughter. He knew I had 2 children and put 2 and 2 together and got 7!

When I was 30 I went to give blood with a 20 year old friend and was asked if I was his mum.

You might be thinking that I look haggard for my age but last week at the age of 34 I was asked for ID in Tesco.

I am the eldest of my siblings and strangers often think that at least 2 of them are older than me.

I am terrible at guessing someone's age.

[sodablackcurrant]

Take it in your stride love.

Twice I was taken for the Momma. Once with my sister in Spain who is two years younger than me. In a furniture shop, sis had an opinion on a sofa. Senora said, let us ask your Mamma. Me.

Then later on in the week we were in a restaurant that had a show. The singers came round the tables it was great fun. One of the singers told me my "daughter" was soooo pretty.

I am still here and still laughing. But Spain has put the hex on me after that.

Sis is still giggling too, bitch.

I don't care. I am dark and she has lovely reddish kind of "Irish" reddish strawberry blonde hair, so my theory is they were all eyes on her lol. They see enough brunettes. Have to have an excuse!

[camtt]

I don't know if this will help but I've never quite stopped cringing at the time I looked at a colleague's wedding photographs and asked if that chap was her father ... no, the happy bridegroom. I guess my eyesight is not brilliant. She may feel as bad as you do!

[CashelGirl]

One of the kids on the school run asked me if I was my daughters Grandma, when I denied it he said "are you sure because you look more like a Grandma than a Mum." I could have cried. His Mum was mortified and apologised profusely. It was made worse by him shouting "but she looks so old" in the distance as his mum told him off. I wouldn't mind but I look younger than his Mum!

[Yolannnda]

To be fair when a man is sat in a barbers chair, with a gown facing the wall it is sometimes hard to guess an age. Perhaps she just glanced his way rather than get a good idea of what he looked like.

I also agree with the pp about behaviour rather than look as if she saw the back of his head and you waiting that is more 'mum' like as its a bit out of character for a wife to accompany her DH to his haircut and wait for him.

[CashelGirl]

The point was, don't be upset. You don't have to forget about it, but you know you don't look old enough to be his Mum, so the issue lies with her, not you.

[Funnyonion17]

I think she was thinking you was waiting for someone else maybe?

No way at 31 would you look old enough to be the parent of another 31 year old. Regardless of sleepless nights!

[Notknownatthisaddress]

I have to agree there is no way you would look old enough to be the mother of your husband who is 31! When you are 31 yourself haha.

Sorry to laugh, but it's bonkers.

As someone said, she probably maybe thought you were in your 30's and the guy in the chair was a lad of 13 at first glance. (And from the back!) By your thinking you would have to look 50 LOL.

Don't worry. It was obvious either a mix up and she thought he was a teen, or she is blind as a fucking bat

Don't give it another thought sweetie.

Not as bad as my cousin who has always looked 8-10 years younger and got mistaken for 29 at 40, then suddenly aged at 45-46.

Last year (at 46,) she was asked to an over 50's do. She was crushed.

To me she still looks ok and hasn't aged, as I see her all the time and she is my pretty cousin, but to others she looks older. A few days after, she was offered an over 50's discount for her haircut! Another couple of similar things happened. She had basically gone from looking 29 to looking 49 in the space of 4-5 years.

[Grenoble124]

Three weeks between me and my friend. We went to a restaurant she frequents and the waitress knew her and asked if I was her daughter! In fairness she had had a hair trial andit was a bit ageing that day but wow! It was a once off and I was still being asked for ID at 35.