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AIBU?

To be so sad?

6 replies

thisismysadface · 24/06/2017 00:45

My boss retired today, and I can't quite believe that when I go to work next week, he won't be there. I've worked with him 9 years, and he has been so, so good to me. So encouraging, accommodating, and really wanting me to progress and do well, but always respecting my decisions. And really good fun.

I cried like a baby yesterday after he gave me a lovely gift and card, and today, I think I was in a kind of denial as he left.

I will speak to him again, but not often. He lives nearby, but we won't maintain a friendship. Although he is lovely and I told me he is there if I need him, he's not the type.

I know it's life and I feel stupid, but he has been a big part of my life and has genuinely changed it for the better.

I can be very emotional (in private) but I lost my parents when I was young, and most days now I'm kind of "shit happens", even about that, so why do I think I'm going to find this really hard?!

OP posts:
73kittycat73 · 24/06/2017 01:28

Aww, sorry to hear you are having a tough time. It's understandable though, you worked together a long time. Sounds like you are just grieving a bit, which is perfectly understandable and I'm sure, quite right! Give yourself some time to get over it. Flowers

Partypolitics99 · 24/06/2017 07:02

My contract comes to an end in fab next year, it might be renewed but not likely.
I have worked with my colleague for 8 years and I can't Imagine not working with him. He has been such a rock and an ace person to work with. Makes me cry when I think if not working with him, there are no romantic feelings there, in fact I think he sees me as the little sister he never has as there is 25 years between us.
We will still meet up as he is now a good friends but the thought of not working with him is horrible

anahata · 24/06/2017 10:40

Hi

You say you lost your parents at a young age. Do you think maybe this chap has become a father/parental figure over the years in terms of nuturing, guidance and support?

He clearly thinks an awful lot of you.

Don't totally rule out a friendship. I meet an old HR director every few months for lunch. I was seriously ill and she had my back covered. It was only afterwards she told me that she had had the same illness herself a few years before. We have a lot of mutual respect and trust for each other. it's really lovely to catch up now and again.

MrsOverTheRoad · 24/06/2017 11:44

You say he's not the type but you might be surprised...in retirement my FIL has fostered more friendships with younger people than he ever had when he was so busy and working....he unoficially mentors lots of people.

Just shoot him an email or text in a week or two...see if he wants a coffee.

MatildaTheCat · 24/06/2017 12:41

He sounds lovely. Maybe you did see him as a fatherly figure and are feeling a little bereaved? Keep in touch with ocassional emails and he may like the odd lunch or coffee.

You will be fine and later you may have the chance to help a young colleague find their professional feet and have a chance to pay forward this great gift.

thisismysadface · 24/06/2017 15:14

Thanks for all the kind words. I do kind of feel like it's not sunk in yet that he's gone. I need to email him next week as he's going to check a job application for me, and he lives right beside my place of work, so I'll probably bump in to him, but I do feel that while he'll always be there to help me professionally, he's the type who makes a clean break, if you know what I mean? I've never really known him to mention catching up with old colleagues, although he talks fondly of some and the times he spent with them.

And yes, I suppose he was my "work dad". Always guiding me, encouraging me to be assertive, and ready to step in if anyone was taking advantage of me.

But of course, it will be fine and as I wrote in his card, yes; hopefully I can be as fantastic a boss as him one day. Star

Thanks for not making me feel ridiculous! Smile

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