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AIBU?

Friends inviting other friends on joint holiday

30 replies

CrashGater · 23/06/2017 22:25

Name changed as I'm a regular and this could be identifying.

We have never been on holiday with friends before because essentially we are quite antisocial and like to do our own stuff. This year we agreed to go on holiday with some close friends. We have two DC (1 and 3) they have one DC (1). We've been friends about 15 years.

We agreed to go to Spain. They left all the research to me and kept asking if I had found somewhere to book yet. I did say suggestions welcome but nobody made any. I got a recommendation from somebody of this small apartment complex in a quiet area. The place isn't easily found online, but another set of friends had been there and said it was fantastic. Five apartments around a shared pool.

Shared with friends, all agreed and we booked an apartment and they booked an apartment.

My DH saw the H in the other couple tonight (let's call him Ian) who said by complete coincidence that another couple (and their two year old) that they know (lets call them Tim and Sue) have by complete chance booked an apartment in the same complex on the same dates.

We have only met Tim and Sue once and weren't that keen on them. My DH said oh had you mentioned it to them as odd they would even find that apartment complex and Ian played dumb and said what are the chances, pure coincidence. DH laughed and said are you sure you hadn't mentioned it and Ian said no.

I think bullshit they have invited another family without consulting us. They are quite good friends with them. If they had asked we would have most likely said fine but it feels a bit sprung upon us.

I'm miffed. We wouldn't choose to go on holiday with Tim and Sue as we don't know them well.

AIBU? What can we do?

OP posts:

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Rioja123 · 23/06/2017 22:27

You can't do anything!

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 23/06/2017 22:31

Holidays are full of people you hope never to see again

in your situation I'd call it a blessing - your friends can go off with the other people and you don't have to put up with any of them. Its a win-win situation.

TwoDrifters · 23/06/2017 22:33

Are the other two apartments free? And can you think of any other of your friends that you'd like to come along?!

SabineUndine · 23/06/2017 22:35

It's annoying but at least you're in separate flats. I once ended up sharing a room with the friend I was going on holiday with and another male friend of hers whom she invited along to reduce the cost. For. A. Fortnight.

2rebecca · 23/06/2017 22:35

As they have booked you can't do anything now. If they are close friends though I probably would phone them up or talk to them and say you're disappointed the other couple are going to be there as you're not keen on them and you hope they hadn't invited them behind your backs as it seems a coincidence and if initially they'd suggested the 3 families going on holiday together you would have said no and done your own thing.
Maybe you aren't that close to them though.

CrashGater · 23/06/2017 22:37

AIBU to feel annoyed at not bein consulted though? And to feel a bit lied to.

We normally do quite remote holidays as far away from people as possible. I was lukewarm about the idea of going to Spain with them in the first place but it was cheap and two DC in childcare means we can't afford our normal holidays and are lucky to be getting this week away at all!

OP posts:

Witchend · 23/06/2017 22:39

Could be a coincidence.
We used to holiday in a very obscure part of north Wales.
By chance we found d's godmum used to holiday about 2 miles away. We'd probably have been children running round on the same beach year after year.

CrashGater · 23/06/2017 22:41

We've been friends 15 years and are close I think, we see each other regularly, godparents to each other's children etc.

They know the other couple through a mutual hobby we don't do.

I'm just surprised they didn't discuss it and are presenting it as a coincidence unless they mentioned it in passing to the other couple, but don't remember, and they booked themselves onto it.

OP posts:

CrashGater · 23/06/2017 22:42

Or mentioned it to somebody else in their club who told the other couple?

OP posts:

Enidblyton1 · 23/06/2017 22:43

YANBU! Your friends must be a bit dim if they think you would fall for the 'what a coincidence' line!
Not much you can do about it though. Hopefully it will end up being a positive if it means that you can spend more time alone as a family while the others socialise. Or maybe Tim and Sue will turn out to be nice when you get to know them a bit better. Go with an open mind.

Hippee · 23/06/2017 22:52

Could be a coincidence though - we have people at school who have bumped into each other in Greece and Barbados - none of the people had prearranged it.

NellieFiveBellies · 23/06/2017 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Siwdmae · 23/06/2017 23:00

I bumped into a child from school at Universal Studios. Mad. However, your friends are being quite insulting if they think you'll believe it was a coincidence. You can lose your deposits or grit your teeth and go along with it.

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 23/06/2017 23:00

I'd be properly pissed off about this. But I have aspergers so my view may be skewed. They must also think you are stupid to swallow their rubbish about it being a coincidence.

I have a friend who always used to invite others along to stuff and is very much a 'the more the merrier' type whereas I like a small, select group who I know well and am comfortable with, not a load of randoms I don't know.

FromAtoB · 23/06/2017 23:05

YABU. They aren't sharing a flat with you! They are sharing a pool and some other random would have been if it hadn't been them.

KeiraKnightleyActsWithHerTeeth · 23/06/2017 23:12

I'd cancel. Sod that for a game of soldiers. No way would I spend my precious holiday time with people I don't know or like.

SquinkiesRule · 23/06/2017 23:13

We went to Disney with another family and bumped into their next door neighbors (the wife of this neighbor was my old boss) then the next day two more families from our Ds's school.
We were all in different hotels, didn't hang out and thought it was really funny.
I'd check for more free apartments in the complex see if some of your other friends might want to come, dilute the time spent with each family.

ScarlettFreestone · 23/06/2017 23:16

It could be coincidence. I have bumped into friends in France, Italy and the USA quite by chance.

You were recommended by friends why couldn't the other couple have been too?

sodablackcurrant · 23/06/2017 23:17

I agree with Nellie.

I would be happy that a couple your friends know are in the same complex. You can just do your own thing.

I cannot for the life of me understand how people go on holiday with friends.

Too much hassle. Too many people to please, too much compromise.

Would never do it.

I think you are probably right to be miffed, but look on it as the best outcome.

Spending an evening with friends and enjoying each others company is NOT the same as spending a week in a foreign country with them.

Lucky you. You can piss off during the day and let friends and their friends at it.

You will not go away with friends like this again!

viques · 23/06/2017 23:22

Coincidences do happen, a friend climbed up a fairly high mountain somewhere, and as she enjoyed the hard earned view a little voice said " hello Miss"

TheFlyingFauxPas · 23/06/2017 23:24

You may be lifted but what's to be gained by moaning about it now? Whether deliberate or not if you keep trying to get the truth out of them either way it's going to ruin things and you'll all go off with sourpuss faces. Or grin and make the best of it. You don't have to spend every minute together. A bit like moaning that your best friend is playing with someone else in the playground. Just let it go.

TheFlyingFauxPas · 23/06/2017 23:25

#miffed!

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fzpotts · 23/06/2017 23:30

When I was 16 my parents booked for us to go to Bulgaria. Travel company went bust a week before we went and we ended up in Tunisia. On the first day there another girl from my class was on the next sunlounger.

Neither of us knew the other was going and this was 24 years ago when Tunisia was much less of a mainstream destination than it became later.

fzpotts · 23/06/2017 23:31

Sorry meant to say that coincidences are far more common than you think

KeepServingTheDrinks · 23/06/2017 23:31

I understand why you're upset, and you're def NBU, but try and take this as a 'free pass'.

i.e. if the original friends are irking you, you can ditch them for the night, safe in the knowledge they can see TimandSue.

And as a PP said, maybe you'll like andSue once you're away

If they drag TimandSue [their names are almost becoming an Italian desert to me at this point!] into everything, you can either go with it or disengage.

Holidays are precious, so don't let this spoil yours.

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