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Downstairs neighbours have complained about noise AIBU?

(103 Posts)
tonightonight Fri 23-Jun-17 15:17:49

I live in a block of three large flats. Upstairs has a balcony, my flat has Juliet balcony under upstairs's balcony. Downstairs has French doors that open onto a small back yard, again directly under my Juliet balcony.
My baby is 6 months old and currently teething so is a bit more grumpy than normal. He's usually very well behaved and DH and I are very conscious to ensure he isn't disturbing everyone too much. When I first found out I was pregnant I put a note in each neighbours letter box letting them know that I was expecting and once baby was here, if they had any problems to please come and speak to us.

So, this week, as we all know, has been ridiculously hot. DS has been in just his nappy or nappy and a vest to keep him cool. I've had a couple windows open in his room and our room during the day and the Juliet doors open in the living room. I've also got my nursing chair by the Juliet. So when I'm feeding DS I read to him (currently Harry Potter... more for me than him lol). I speak softly when I read because he's obviously feeding and biting when startled.
Downstairs had a couple guests over and we're sitting in their yard which is under my Juliet talking and drinking. I was sat in my chair reading aloud. I then had the wife say in a loud voice "oh is she still not done reading that shit to her baby?!" They then entered into a loud conversation about how inconsiderate I've been by having my doors open as they can hear everything and it's not fair.
Once DH was home I went down to speak to them and they told me I was selfish and entitled. I asked how as I was sitting in my own house reading to my son? I wasn't in a public space or anything and it was too hot to not have the doors open!
I mean, he's a baby so he does cry but I always shut the doors when that happens anyways.
I can hear upstairs's TV when all our doors are open but that's flat life isn't it?!

greathat Fri 23-Jun-17 15:20:24

They are rude. Try not to dwell on it, just stamp a bit harder as you move round

AlmostAJillSandwich Fri 23-Jun-17 15:21:15

You're not being unreasonable at all. They were surely making far much more noise sat outside talking and laughing and drinking than you were softly reading to your son!

ChicRock Fri 23-Jun-17 15:21:16

They're rude, but you clearly are not talking that softly if they can hear you.

Chloe84 Fri 23-Jun-17 15:23:57

So it's fine for them to talk but not you? Fuck them and continue with Harry Potter.

DrSpin Fri 23-Jun-17 15:23:58

yANBU they are. In contrast my neighbours told me they love the sound of my 7 month old babbling and shouting and my quiet but tuneless singing to him etc. I sit in our kitchen with the patio doors open, they sit in their private garden which is tiny so very close to my house and we try to ignore each Other's normal background noise and be polite as far as we can.

tonightonight Fri 23-Jun-17 15:28:38

@ChicRock the tops of their French doors are literally under my Juliet. If my doors are open and theirs are I can hear them speaking as if they are across the flat.
If I was loud (for example when DH gets home and I speak to him at my normal volume) DS bites lol. Honestly I do speak softly.

BasketOfDeplorables Fri 23-Jun-17 15:29:02

That's life living in a flat. If you reading aloud to your son disturbs them that much, then your voice is obviously so interesting you should do talking books.

Some people are rude about children. Would they complain if you were watching tv and they could hear that? I think the sort of people who complain about people, knowing they can be overheard without having the guts or manners to say it to your face are awful.

tonightonight Fri 23-Jun-17 15:29:48

I'm pleased that you all think I'm not. After reading some other posts on here I was worried that I may have been and that I was too stuck in my own world to realise

tonightonight Fri 23-Jun-17 15:30:49

@BasketOfDeplorables haha thanks! Although with my Geordie accent I can't imagine people would understand me

BigYellowJumper Fri 23-Jun-17 15:33:58

I'd find it quite hard not to go round and tell them how rude they are.

I don't think you even needed to write a note in the first place OP - babies make noise, as long as you take reasonable precautions to prevent it travelling too much, there's not much you can do about it.

I say that as someone who has had noisy neighbours and it was hell. Stomping about all over, day and night, shouting at the top of their voices, no rugs so everything carried. Now, they were inconsiderate. You - not so much.

Currently living between two flats with babies, and I do hear them crying sometimes, but it doesn't bother me.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Fri 23-Jun-17 15:34:14

((waves to fellow geordie))
There conversation topics must have been shit if all they find to chat about is you!!
Sounds like you are a thoughtful tenant!!

fuckwitery Fri 23-Jun-17 15:35:11

Sorry but that's flat life. They Abu. If you could hear them then they are as 'inconsiderate' as they are insinuating you are.

SaS2014 Fri 23-Jun-17 15:38:34

YANBU they are, very! It's not like it's midnight and you're partying ffs. You are sitting in your own house talking to your baby. Nope cannot find anything unreasonable in there at all! Try to just ignore them, as you say (unless you live in an old built detached house) neighbour noise is a part of life.

blueskyinmarch Fri 23-Jun-17 15:40:15

If i heard you reading Harry Potter in geordie accent i would probably settle in under your window with a G&T for a lovely listen.

UnbornMortificado Fri 23-Jun-17 15:41:45

If you were my neighbour I'd send my DD's outside to listen in. Nothing wrong with a geordie accent.

Your neighbours are bloody rude.

tonightonight Fri 23-Jun-17 15:41:49

@Justmadeperfectflapjacks hiya! ⚫️⚪️

@blueskyinmarch haha only if you make one for me too!

BasketOfDeplorables Fri 23-Jun-17 15:41:57

Ooh, love a geordie accent!

Our upstairs neighbours sounds like giants in concrete shoes. The noise in our flats carries horrendously. It's not their fault, It's well known that there are noise issues so I wouldn't complain. They sometimes have a party that lasts basically all night, or watch a film with the volume up, or play music on their balcony late at night. It all disturbs us, but they're not doing it every night so I take the view that I'll leave them to it, as long as they don't complain about being woken up by a teething baby.

Turquoise123 Fri 23-Jun-17 15:44:30

hmmmm had they had a little bit too much to drink with their meal I wonder ?

It's a shame for you - these sort of things are really uncomfortable

tonightonight Fri 23-Jun-17 15:46:29

DS is very good, he's asleep by 7pm and goes through until 6am, even with the teething (we only have 2 so that will probably change) but he's a very happy baby. If he's crying we can usually appease him, if we can't then we go out for a walk or a drive.
I just feel a bad. I don't want to feel uncomfortable if we have any more warm days and I open the doors.
Plus I'm on the last book with him and they're just about to break into gringotts so I can't stop now!

HappyFlappy Fri 23-Jun-17 15:48:20

If i heard you reading Harry Potter in geordie accent i would probably settle in under your window with a G&T for a lovely listen.

Same here, Bluesky.

I love being read to (as long as it isn't the football pages out of the Chronicle - yes - I'm talking to you Mr Flappy! grin)

limitedperiodonly Fri 23-Jun-17 15:48:42

Juliet balcony? Declaiming of verses? All sounds a bit dramatic to me

smearedinfood Fri 23-Jun-17 15:49:57

How horrible for you. It's hot, what are you supposed to do - bake indoors.

Everyone's got an opinion when you have a baby. Ignore them. But repeat their conversations on the telephone, so that they know that you can hear everything they say.

However I hope they keep their language in check when he's a bit older.

BasketOfDeplorables Fri 23-Jun-17 15:50:49

Just crack on. If you're just hearing normal noise from your neighbours then you can't really complain.

danTDM Fri 23-Jun-17 15:51:32

I live next door to a baby. IT IS HELL.

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