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AIBU?

WWBU to purchase DD expensive university accommodation?

188 replies

ThreePounds · 23/06/2017 14:53

This isn't some twisted bragging thread, BTW. We have been saving since she was born.

She will be going to London in September for university and we are pretty set on a lovely studio apartment that's in student accommodation. It's just over £400 a week. We can afford this.

My mum thinks it's a bad idea. I never went to uni, so I'm not sure what experience she has, hence I'm asking here. She thinks she needs to 'learn' that's it's not easy or necessarily 'nice' to live alone, etc. etc.

DD has a part-time job herself and isn't expecting at all.

WWBU?

OP posts:
PatriciaHolm · 23/06/2017 14:54

What does she want for her? A grotty little flatshare with unscrupulous landlords and dangerous electrics?

Nothing to do with your Mum!

Auspiciouspanda · 23/06/2017 14:54

Studio accommodation? So she won't be sharing a flat and kitchen with house mates?

KoalaDownUnder · 23/06/2017 14:56

I thought it was a lot more fun to live in student halls or shared accommodation; that would be my only reservation.

ThreePounds · 23/06/2017 14:57

@PatriciaHolm I honestly think she would prefer her to have somewhere like that!

@Auspiciouspanda no, she wouldn't. However, she really doesn't want to.

OP posts:
KoalaDownUnder · 23/06/2017 14:57

Oh hang on, just saw that it's in student accommodation - on campus, then?

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 23/06/2017 14:58

YANBU. It's a £1600 per month rental - you're not buying her her own £5m town house.

Rent in London is hugely expensive, so this actually doesn't seem all that unreasonable.

Also, if you can afford it, then why not. Sounds perfect to me!

tonightonight · 23/06/2017 14:58

Sharing kitchen/living spaces with other students would be such a great experience for her and teach her so much more about tolerance. Plus parties without having your bedroom trashed.
The one thing I was funny about was having my own bathroom as when I need to go I NEED to go. Very weak bladder.

MadameJosephine · 23/06/2017 14:58

£400 a week? Where is it? My son was in imperial halls in Kensington and even they were 'only' £237 a week!

DrSpin · 23/06/2017 14:59

Your dd needs to choose where she lives.

JigsawBat · 23/06/2017 14:59

Would have dreamed of having my own studio apartment.

But, beyond that I would have preferred a deposit for my own home after university.

I wouldn't waste all that money on renting luxury if you can get cheaper student accommodation, then contribute the spare towards a permanent home of her own.

TheStoic · 23/06/2017 14:59

You'll be setting the bar high. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Carley27 · 23/06/2017 14:59

I thought it was a lot more fun to live in student halls or shared accommodation; that would be my only reservation.

This was my first thought, but obviously it depends on your daughter's preferences. If you can afford it and it's where she wants to stay then I would go for it.

DramaAlpaca · 23/06/2017 15:01

I would've loved that as a student, I hated living in halls and shared houses but had no choice.

If it's affordable for you and your DD wants to live by herself then of course YANBU, it sounds perfect. Eyewateringly expensive though!

HappyLabrador · 23/06/2017 15:01

Personally, I think if you're able to help her and you want to, you should do it. No offence to your mum but it doesn't really matter what she thinks. It's your and your Dh's decision.

Lots of people would disagree and say you should make her stand on her own two feet, support herself, learn to cope alone etc etc, but I know that if dd decides to go away to university, we'd definitely do it.

So no, I don't think ywbu.

FreedomMummy · 23/06/2017 15:02

If you can afford it I don't see why you shouldn't pay for nice accommodation. However, one of the great things about uni is living with other students and forming lifelong friendships. One of my best friends is one of the girls from my first year at uni who happened to be in the room next to mine. She may not think she wants to be slumming it with other students but it will be very lonely living on her own.

Gileswithachainsaw · 23/06/2017 15:03

If you can do it then go for it.

But then I don't know the standards of accommodation in the halls nor do I know who she will end up sharing with.

Could be perfectly fine.

Or could be like a scene from fresh meat where people don't have proper doors and there's never any proper food and the landlord doesn't fix anything.

NerrSnerr · 23/06/2017 15:04

The only thing that concerns me is when she graduates is she going to expect lovely accommodation in London n a graduate wage and either get a huge shock at what real renting is about or expect you to be paying well into her 20s.

TipTopTipTopClop · 23/06/2017 15:05

Why not?

I'm in Zone 1 and a trustafarian student bought the flat next door to me so I now have a bunch of 21 year olds partying heartily through the night and into the morning in the garden directly next to me. This strikes me as excessive.

ThreePounds · 23/06/2017 15:07

@MadameJosephine - it's in Westminster.

We did speak about staying at that same accommodation but get the one where there is a flat and you have a room and private bathroom, but she says she'd much rather have the studio apartment. She wasn't expecting, BTW and she definitely doesn't expect to be able to live in a lovely place when she graduates.

We do already have some money away to help her with a deposit, so that's not a huge worry.

She understands the value of money though and works hard to get her own.

OP posts:
gwenneh · 23/06/2017 15:09

If it's what your DD wants, and you can afford it, then go for it.

Nothing sucks more than having to balance a full load of coursework and shitty roommates or an uncomfortable living situation! And while living in shared accommodation isn't always going to be terrible, why add a potential stressor to an already pretty stressful time?

There will be time for her to learn the lessons your mum is talking about.

Moreisnnogedag · 23/06/2017 15:10

I think the whole shared kitchen life experience thing isn't necessarily a great thing tbh besides teaching you that some people are disgustingly filthy. What does your DD want? If she wants halls, pay for nice halls. If she wants a studio, do that.
I had a flat mate whose parents were pissed that his room was too nice as they thought he should be living in a hovel essentially. It shocked me that people would actively choose that for their kids.

TalkinPeece · 23/06/2017 15:10

Part of sharing is the personal development side.
DD's flat in hall has not turned out at all how she expected / planned
and it has made her grow up a LOT
she has learned to rub along with people much better
a good skill to get early

possibly one year of sharing and then the studio will be REALLY appreciated Grin??

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toffeeboffin · 23/06/2017 15:13

No, it's a really nice gesture.

If she doesn't have to bother with the thrill of sharing, then fine.

toffeeboffin · 23/06/2017 15:15

And maybe she won't even pick London to live in post grad and will be able to afford a great flat on her own.

rubybleu · 23/06/2017 15:16

For £400 pw I assume it's somewhere like Nido Spitalfields or another Zone 1 halls like that.

I would caution that her fellow residents are likely to be mostly post graduates if her building is predominately studio accommodation with no cluster flats. She may find very few likeminded first years in her accommodation if that's the case.

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