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AIBU?

Am I just being cheap?

46 replies

chipscheeseandgravy · 22/06/2017 22:03

When I was pregnant my friend bought me a gift which cost about £75. I'd never asked for it, she bought it off her own back. She basically saw one and bought it. Don't get me wrong it's proved helpful, but she could have bought a non branded one for £70 less and I would have got the same use out of it.
She's now pregnant and has asked me to buy something at roughly the same value. It's some sort of gizmo. (Won't be too specific). In my mind it's ridiculously expensive and pointless. It feels like she's found something expensive and thought oh chips can get me that. This is the second idea she's given me that falls into the 'very expensive' range .
I've said I'll 'look for one'. I can't afford it, I've just gone back to work part time, so need to pay some bills of. I don't have much spare cash, and with 2 family weddings, 2 hen do's, ds first birthday, and 6 birthdays (mil, sil, fil, dp and 2 other relatives) within two months. I don't have the cash to buy something that's so much.
Am I just being cheap? I also hate buying things I see as pointless (because I'm cheap). I can think of plenty of other things that are much more useful (and affordable) that I can get.
I can afford something up to about £50, but that's a push. Would You be annoyed if as your best mate (of 10'years) I didn't get something you 'wanted'
She doesn't seem to understand the concept of money and that some people don't buy the most expensive thing in the shop.

OP posts:
Patriciathestripper1 · 22/06/2017 22:06

If you have been her best mate for 10 years then you should be in a position to tell her how you feel.

BandeauSally · 22/06/2017 22:06

No you aren't being cheap at all! Did you ask her what she wanted you to get her or did she just decide to dictate what you should buy her?

chipscheeseandgravy · 22/06/2017 22:13

She's genuinely a good person, but our ideas of what is affordable Is at opposite ends of the scale, despite our incomes being relatively similar. She sees brands as important, whilst I'm just not bothered.

I have no problems buying a gift. I told her to give me a few ideas what she would like and I'd buy her something. What she wants is very specific. (Not available from a different company etc)

OP posts:
Supersoaryflappypigeon · 22/06/2017 22:13

It's "off her own bat" not "back" (sorry-I don't often correct people-just this and "train station").

Yanbu. But what you can afford.

Supersoaryflappypigeon · 22/06/2017 22:13

Buy*

EssentialHummus · 22/06/2017 22:16

Voucher for £50 towards that thing? No YANBU.

Chunkymonkey123 · 22/06/2017 22:22

Yanbu however I think you need to talk to her about it. If she equates expensive gifts with love then she is going to feel hurt or put out by the fact that you deliberately spent less on her than she did on you. Explain like you did on here and ask whether there is something different you can get. If you are best friends then she will understand.

Samoyedydog · 22/06/2017 22:27

What do you correct people for with 'train station' @Supersoaryflappypigeon

TaggieRR · 22/06/2017 22:29

Train station?

SequinsOnEverything · 22/06/2017 22:30

Not relevant, but I'm curious. Is it the perfect prep she wants?

I think you'll just have to explain you can't afford it at the moment or give her vouchers for somewhere she can get it.

MorrisZapp · 22/06/2017 22:31

Ok I'm guessing you say 'railway station'?

NataliaOsipova · 22/06/2017 22:32

I think it's railway station?

NataliaOsipova · 22/06/2017 22:32

Morris Great minds!

seesensepeople · 22/06/2017 22:33

train station? Original way to derail a thread, lol

Samoyedydog · 22/06/2017 22:34

'A train station, railway station, railroad station, or depot (see below) is a railway facility where trains regularly stop to load or unload passengers or freight.' Isn't it all the same shit?

CaoNiMartacus · 22/06/2017 22:35

A literal derailing! So meta.

Evilstepmum01 · 22/06/2017 22:38

Derailing the thread a bit there!

OP, talk to her, shes your friend! I wouldnt spend £75 on my friend if I couldnt afford it. YANBU

Therealslimshady1 · 22/06/2017 22:39

Just buy something else and gush : I saw this and thought you'd love it!

PerspicaciaTick · 22/06/2017 22:40

Sell the expensive thing she got you that you are a bit Meh! about.
Use the money to top up her gift.

expatinscotland · 22/06/2017 22:42

Talk to her! It's way, way, way rude to tell someone what to get you as a gift when they haven't asked!

Optimist1 · 22/06/2017 22:45

Am I the only one wondering what branded item would cost £75 when a non-branded one would cost a fiver? Smile

chipscheeseandgravy · 22/06/2017 22:45

Sequins. No not a perfect prep. It's basically an attachment to a rocking chair to make it rock Hmm

Nice to see everyone's questioning the train station thing. I was thinking the same Grin

OP posts:

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SomeOtherFuckers · 22/06/2017 22:47

No people are in charge of budgeting themselves not setting a benchmark for others . Tell her you can't afford it and you're sorry- if she gets the hump ask her why she expected that a gift had to be equal value ... that makes it a nine gift

Babymamamama · 22/06/2017 22:50

Is it a watch I wonder?

Bluntness100 · 22/06/2017 22:51

You know what is important to her, yet you still asked her what she wanted and said uou would buy it. You also accepted her gift.

Why ask her? You knew she wasn't going to say something that cost a fiver. So why ask and say you'd buy it if you didn't want to buy her what she wanted, you wanted to set a limit and buy her what you felt appropriate?

I'm sorry, but you knew this would be the outcome when uou asked her and said you'd buy her what she wished.

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