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AIBU to feel really 'ick' about this attempt at sex this morning?

(181 Posts)
Asparaguswee Thu 22-Jun-17 13:25:43

I'm not really sure how to articulate how I feel about what happened this morning. Apologies in advance for the tmi nature of this post, but I could do with talking it out and listening to a few different opinions.

Woke this morning, DH was reading, children asleep. He cuddled me from behind, I was in the mood for sex so kind of rubbed against him. Literally seconds later he spat on his hand, rubbed it on his penis and tried to penetrate me.
I pushed him off and told him i hate that (he knows I hate the spitting thing) and told him I wasn't a blow up doll. He stopped straight away and apologised.
He's working from home today, knows that I'm off with him but yet I seem unable to articulate why. I don't even know myself why I feel so off.

If I'm honest I feel a bit disgusting, I feel like he didn't give me even a seconds thought, like I was just a hole from which he garners pleasure. Oh god I don't know. Am I overthinking it? Would you be pissed off? Am I being unreasonable?

NavyandWhite Thu 22-Jun-17 13:27:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhitePhantom Thu 22-Jun-17 13:28:13

God that sounds disgusting! He certainly wasn't going out of his way to give you any pleasure, was he?! He really was behaving like you were a blow-up doll. Yuk!

TheSparrowhawk Thu 22-Jun-17 13:29:43

Yuck yuck yuck. Yuck. WTF did he think he was doing??

Nousernameforme Thu 22-Jun-17 13:30:34

As with anything and most definitely if it comes to sex, if you have told him you don't like it but he continues to do it he is a twunt of the highest order.

Personally I would find that grim and it would be a total turn off.

Asparaguswee Thu 22-Jun-17 13:30:38

Oh thank god you both agree. I kind of thought I was making a mountain out of a molehill. I need to tell him how he made me feel this morning, only I'm not quite sure what to say that will relay the message that it's just not fucking on to do that.

Reow Thu 22-Jun-17 13:32:07

That's disgusting. Why do men do this? I've come across it a couple of times too.


BadHatter Thu 22-Jun-17 13:32:15

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NavyandWhite Thu 22-Jun-17 13:32:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

margaritasbythesea Thu 22-Jun-17 13:34:36

You're wondering why you're disgusted at a man spitting on his hands as a precursor to sex.

You must be a very nice person op.

You did well. Maybe a calm reinforcement that it is a total turn off for you. Maybe ask him if he can imagine someone like George Clooney doing it. It's so blatantly unattractive and unconcerned about your arousal.

TenForward82 Thu 22-Jun-17 13:35:07

How is he normally with foreplay?

Totally with you on the spitting, I can't stand it.

waitforitfdear Thu 22-Jun-17 13:35:17

Omg so beyond yeuk.

Men do this? Thankfully none I have met or raised.

Beyond disgusting

Batteriesallgone Thu 22-Jun-17 13:35:38

Did he spit on his hand to give himself a bit more lubricate to rub things into life IYSWIM? And was he also thinking it'll have to be a quicky because kids will be awake soon and assuming you were on same wavelength, what with the rubbing up against him?

Although, that is my generous interpretation. My non-generous interpretation is 'he knows I hate the spitting thing' - WTF? He does this regularly? Now that's grim.

MattBerrysHair Thu 22-Jun-17 13:37:11

She rubbed up against him, she didn't just grab his cock and put it in! Op I would find that massively disrespectful too. You let him know you were in the mood for sex and in response he tried to use you as a sank sock. Grim.

mrsmalcolmreynolds Thu 22-Jun-17 13:37:26

Well surely tell him that if he has to spit on his hand to lubricate enough to penetrate that means you are not aroused and that he is as you say using you as a blow up doll rather than as a partner in sex that you both enjoy? This is not a difficult concept to grasp!

I find it especially stomach turning that you've told him you don't like it before and he still tried it.

soapboxqueen Thu 22-Jun-17 13:37:50

That is really grim

Didiusfalco Thu 22-Jun-17 13:38:06

Eww, that's grim,

Does he watch porn? sounds like something he's picked up from that.

MattBerrysHair Thu 22-Jun-17 13:38:31

wank not sank blush

Mummamayhem Thu 22-Jun-17 13:40:11

None you've raised?!?!?! waitforit?!?!?! Blimey. Over share issues.

Asparaguswee Thu 22-Jun-17 13:40:18

I don't think the spitting was to aid his arousal, more because he wanted to get it inside me asap and couldn't be arsed to facilitate any other means of making me wet enough.
Yes, he's done it before. Yes, I'm vocal about hating it. It's spit! I don't want it anywhere near me!
I was up for a quickie, but not if it means spitting. Surely there are other ways and means?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Thu 22-Jun-17 13:40:36

It's fine to use saliva as lube but sounds like you've told him you don't like it already so that's not fine.

NavyandWhite Thu 22-Jun-17 13:42:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Thu 22-Jun-17 13:42:36

It's spit! I don't want it anywhere near me! You don't ever kiss then? I think you need to have a chat with him.

ElspethFlashman Thu 22-Jun-17 13:43:07

It's fucking rank. It was rank in Brokeback Mountain too, but at least you could explain that as there being a scarcity of lube up a mountain in the 1950s.

Asparaguswee Thu 22-Jun-17 13:44:10

Mrs Malcom..... he didn't even ahem, 'check' to see if he needed the spitlube (as it shall henceforth be known) so he couldn't have known if it was needed. It just seemed like he wanted to get his dick inside with minimum thought/effort/courtesy.....

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