Child maintenance and passports

[Runlovingmummy81]

Not really a AIBU but not sure where to post....

If you receive (the bare minimum) child maintenance through the cms who should be expected to pay for 2dcs first passports?

[Dishwashersaurous]

Whoever is taking them on holiday

[QuitMoaning]

The parent taking them on holiday? When we took our stepson, we paid for it. If ExW had taken him, I would have been gobsmacked if we were expected to pay for it

[RainbowPastel]

Yes whoever is taking them on holiday.

[agentdaisy]

Whoever wants to take them on holiday should pay. If both parents want to take them on holidays abroad in the same year then it should be spilt.

[Pleasestoplickingthetv]

If both parents plan on using them for different holidays then I would expect 50/50 split.
If not, then whoever needs it to take then away.

[Runlovingmummy81]

We booked our holiday first so automatically got the passports. Asked ex husband to pay half as he would be using it in the same year. He said no. Now has decided to take them away a few weeks after us but is refusing to contribute as he pays maintenance. His default answer everything....

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1]

I'm with your ex husband on this. Yabu.

[RainbowPastel]

He should pay half then but if you don't let him have them when it's time your children will not be able to go.

[Runlovingmummy81]

In normal circumstances it wouldn't bother me. But he has and is emotionally abusive so makes everything difficult. He waves cms and court orders round when it suits him. It's never about putting the kids first.

In reality he won't pay and the dcs will go away with him because I wouldn't want them missing out.

I just don't trust him to return them after the holidays either.

[Runlovingmummy81]

In normal circumstances it wouldn't bother me. But he has and is emotionally abusive so makes everything difficult. He waves cms and court orders round when it suits him. It's never about putting the kids first.

In reality he won't pay and the dcs will go away with him because I wouldn't want them missing out.

I just don't trust him to return them after the holidays either.

[DistortedPerceptions]

Pretty sure bare minimum maintenance doesn't cover the cost of passports, unless he's a high earner. If it's anything like the amount I get it covers the cost of sweet FA. I wouldn't be handing them over until he hands over half the cash.

[KC225]

Keep the passports at your place as you paid for them. It's petty, I know but it sounds as if he is no stranger to games, like this.

[DistortedPerceptions]

I just don't trust him to return them after the holidays either.

In that case I definitely wouldn't be handing them over. They're going on holiday with you, they're not missing out by only having one holiday.

[RedHelenB]

He pays half. He then gives you cost of passports as deposit which you return when he gives back the passports.

[redfairy]

I take it in turns with my ex. He takes DD to France every year but I pack her off on all her school trips. I do insist it stays with me as I'm more organised but he knows this and always hands it straight to me on their return. It works well. Her next passport is her adult one so I may suggest going halves due to increased cost.

[Runlovingmummy81]

He's not a high earner. He artificially reduced his self employed income to pay less child maintenance....

[DistortedPerceptions]

Ah yes I'm familiar with that scenario OP, my ex apparently earns less than minimum wage but has somehow managed to buy a house cash .

Fuck him, do not give him the passports.

[TheWhiteRoseOfYork]

If you don't trust him to return them afterwards then don't give them to him in the first place.

[unfortunateevents]

Not trusting him to return them after the holiday is a far more serious situation than who pays for half the passport cost! Where is your ex taking them? Is is a British citizen or a different nationality?

[Traveller123]

During my divorce the Courts ruled against ex-wife's request for additional payment to cover holidays as total maintenance she was offered by myself was considered fair (CM 750 and SM 400).

[emmyrose2000]

I just don't trust him to return them after the holidays either

I hope you're referring to the passports here, and not the children. Either way, I wouldn't hand either of them over if there was no guarantee of return.

[Runlovingmummy81]

Traveller123 so you pay over 1100 a month.... I get less than 400 cm for 2dc.

[Traveller123]

To Runlovingmummy81. The CM of 750 was based on my earnings and reference to the Child Maintenance Calculator on CMO website. The SM of 400 is payable for 4 years. Logic was that by then our son will be 14 and his mother will then be able to work full time and hence be able to earn more. SM was determined by reference to my net income and essential outgoings taking into account my needs too.

Less than 400 per month is not a lot for 2 children, but all depends on what NRP earns. Make sue you claim your full entitlements of: Child Benefit, Child Tax Credits and Working Tax Credits if you are working. You may also be able to claim childcare costs depending on age of children?

[Runlovingmummy81]

You sound like a responsible and reasonable person. Unfortunately my ex husband isn't.

[Traveller123]

To Runlovingmummy81. That's what judge said when he rejected ex-wife's application for 4,500 per month for life and to be given all 3 properties in the family. I wanted to settle amicably, but ex-wife was too greedy and a fortune was spent on legal costs (around 40K). I would have rather ex-wife had received that money rather than be spent on legal as total cost to myself would be same regardless of who received what. Either ex-wife was given bad advice or she ignored what she did not want to hear? Get the feeling it was the latter as every time the courts rejected her maintenance applications she moved onto another solicitor.

Ex-wife has net income of around 2250 per month from; part time work, Tax Credits and Maintenance. More than many other divorced women and more than many people who work full time I imagine. But do I get to see our son? Never. Apparently I am selfish and bad example

Your husband will be required to pay CM for the 2 children based on what he earns. CMO is the first point of call if you think what you receive is incorrect.