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Feeling left out by friends

(5 Posts)
Allegorygirl Tue 20-Jun-17 22:47:44

I have 3 best friends who have been close for over 30 years.
About 2 years ago friend B (formerly SAHM) joined friend A at their office. Then last year friend C (formerly unemployed) joined them.
They helped each other in getting their jobs. Now all get togethers have become their works night out and I am excluded in conversations.
I have a job that I love & don't want to join them.
Even though our lives have all progressed in different ways & different time frames we have previously all remained so close.
I am successful in my career & have lots going on. However I don't ever share this. They now have no interest in anything outside their office. It's all that is now talked about. Events, issues, people I don't know are the basis of our nights out.
Everything has changed. If I stayed silent all night I feel right now they wouldn't even notice now.
Aibu in giving up on my closest friends over this?

Italiangreyhound Tue 20-Jun-17 23:04:09

Talk to your friends, individually, starting with the one you feel closet to, or who you think may be most sympathetic.

Make them aware how you feel and see if they have the will to change things. If you can continue friendships with them individually, then do that.

If not, and you don't want this, you can move away and make your own friends separately but let them know that you are there if they are able to come back to the friendship on an equal footing without leaving you out.

They sound quite boring and you may be netter off without them but I do understand 30 years is a long time. My longest running friend is really only 20 years. And our friendship is very give and take.

Good luck.

Foslady Tue 20-Jun-17 23:08:33

I have similar. All my friends are in the same career, which I have no connection with other than being a service user via a family member.

Nights out with them is fun.....even when I try changing the conversation within 5 mins default setting comes back......

Allegorygirl Wed 21-Jun-17 01:53:37

Italian thanks for your advice. Individually they are ok. I have brought up with the friend I am closest too that I feel left out. But it seems she just gets caught up in the conversation when we are all together.
Fos it is boring. Sorry you have the same issues

Italiangreyhound Wed 21-Jun-17 02:34:50

Allegorygirl it's not advice born out of being in that boat, it's just what I would do. I kind of feel talking to them altogether they will get defensive and back each other up but one to one they might feel more open to you and be able to see things through your eyes.


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