AIBU to think 2 shifts a week isn't enough for DD this coming year?(57 Posts)
DD is 18 and has a part-time job. She will be going to college next year. She does Wednesday 4-10 and Sunday 5-10. AIBU to think this isn't enough for her to do over the next year? She's claiming it is
How many hours a week will she be at college and what is her job?
So no college right now? I would be suggesting that she gets more shifts so she can pay her way.
Nowhere near enough! She won't earn enough to save and, I would worry, won't have enough to occupy her time. Even if she did, I think she would be mad not to be using this year to earn as much as she can for college and/or get some useful professional experience under her belt. What's the job, out of interest? Anything to do with her chosen course of study?
So is she just planning on working 11 hours a week for a year? Any plans for volunteering or something around that or is she just earning enough for pocket money whilst living at home for free?
What does her college course entail? How many hours is it? How much work to do outside of college hours? What will the impact of extra work hours have on her college course?
I would want her to prioritise college than a part time job, if that job would then be leading onto qualifications and enable her to develop her capabilities and get an improved job in the future.
However, some of this will also depend on what you family income is like and wether you can have your young adult as a dependent for another year or so (no idea on course length.)
If she's not going to college she can work full time.
But she won't be going to college until a years time.
It's just in retail. She lives at home for free. Isn't it a bit mean to ask for money? We don't really need it, but could still ask and put it away for her future?
She plans on learning to drive. She's just finished some volunteering and doesn't plan on doing more...
How many hours is she in college and what is she doing there?
But what if she won't work full time? What the hell do I do? genuine question. I couldn't just throw her out surely?
Ah, wait, I think I misunderstood.
So she is working this year and going to college next year? So this year is to earn money to help her pay her way through college?
If so, then 3 shifts a week isn't enough, if that is all she will be doing throughout the week.
She needs to sit down and work out how much college will cost, inc living expenses and necessities, and work out how much she needs to earn in order to have money to spend now and to save for then. Then she can make a better decision on how much work she ought to be doing.
What does she play to do on Monday-Tuesday, and Thursday to Saturday?
Steve do you mean she's going to college in September 2017 and you don't think 11 hours paid work plus college is enough (in which case you are wrong)
Or do you mean she's having a year out of education and planning to live with you and only work 11 hours a week without going to college until September 2018? In which case of course just working 11 hours per week and hanging out the rest of the time isn't good - she should do something (not necessarily paid work but volunteering or even travelling or evening classes).
I think she should be doing full time the, if she's not at college yet.
Sorry, cross post. No just working 11 hours and doing nothing else at all is rubbish.
There isn't any living expenses for college, it's just do do some course to get her into uni. She already has as levels but they're under C grades and did an apprenticeship after that for a year but it was in something she never wanted to do.
She has saved money from working from her as level/apprenticeship. I haven't ever asked for money off her and she has saved about 4k and she plans on just continuing the shifts she had before but I don't think it's enough.
My confusion came from the use of 'next year' twice in the OP.
* She will be going to college next year.*
AIBU to think this isn't enough for her to do over the next year?
But what you mean is starting college a year after, so September 2018?
And working this year, starting 2017 in the run up to the college course a year later?
Jesus Christ when I was 18 I was doing a full time college course and doing a 50 hour week and still had time to go out on the lash! Teenager today have no work ethic. I'd be telling her to work more shifts and asking for board (which id be putting away for her future)
@drinkingtea she has spoken to the adult community colleges at various classes for the year (Spanish, etc.) and they won't let her in until she is 19.
She has looked at volunteering just doesn't fancy any of it
Does next year mean next academic year - so, in just a few months time?
Does she need the money? (as in, are you able to and willing to support her?)
I got my first PT job at 13.
In the summer season I often worked 60 hours a week, off season maybe 20.
At 16 I worked no less 20 hours a week through college and then uni, full time in the summer. As many hours as I could get - I had to leave home at 16 and was self funding at uni (post grants, pre tuition fees)
In my placement year at uni I couldn't afford to lose my PT job for the final uni year, so I did a 6 day week all that year.
With the exception of 6 weeks inter-railing between uni and grad job, I've worked a LOT of hours for 30 years.
I enjoyed most of my work. It helped me get further work opportunities. I didn't have a choice anyway - but it was fine, you do what you have to do.
You know what though? Two shifts a week is enough to learn to be on time, to report to someone, to learn new things, to work with others, to feel the value of money (that moment when the £20 top represents having been on your feet dealing with shitty customers for 4 hours!).
I say, having worked so much - she has a lifetime of work ahead of her. Let her enjoy having leisure time, even if that's seemingly rubbish stuff like hanging out with mates - not worthy or personally / career developing volunteer work.
If I could afford it, I'd let her choose, for the summer.
A full year and I'd want more of the worthy stuff
It would depend for me if she needed to be 'taught' about responsibility and money, or if she thought I'd be funding a Primari habit.
You may well find she increases her shifts without being pushed once she starts to enjoy the money and realises she hasn't much else to do.
I think she will find it difficult to run a social life and have driving lessons on 11 hours a week even if you don't take rent off her.
In either words keep the roof over her head, feed her meals but snacks, alcohol, favourite shampoo, clothes, days and nights out she pays herself I am sure she will realise he needs more time.
So, she actually needs to save money for college AND university potentially then?
I do think she needs to sit down and consider how much money she will need to cover all her living expenses - by that I mean, money to pay for getting to and from college, buying books and materials, buying food when out and about there, socialising costs with friends, and possibly money towards accommodation (she may live away from home at university?), as well as general expenses such as clothing and toiletries.
She needs a proper good look at all this to come up with how much she realistically needs, bearing in mind that her earning capability when at college and university will be curtailed a fair bit.
If you don't want to ask her for board - and I know many parents don't which is fine - then you could ask her to give you xx amount (under the guise of contributions o home) and have it in a special account to give her at later date? This may help with her budgeting and getting a better idea of living expenses.
Well, you could throw her out, but I doubt you are going to do that. All you can do is encourage her and make sure she understands her expenses are her own, provided you believe more hours are available and she just can't be bothered.
When I was at uni I was studying Monday-Friday, then rushing home on the bus to work in a supermarket on Friday evening, all day Saturday and all day Sunday, then getting the bus back to uni on Sunday night. It was really hard - I wish parents had been able to help out but they weren't in a position to, and very much taught us to be independent from an early age.
I always think that if I can help my kids out, so they get at least one day off a week, then I definitely will.
If she's not at college until 2018 then no, I don't think it's enough hours. Particularly if she needs to put a bit away so she doesn't need to work as much when she does start college.
I don't think it's an issue. She's got there rest of her life to work full time; give her a break.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.