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To have not removed DS from tea room?

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OtAndBothered Mon 19-Jun-17 18:14:06

Went for day out to national trust abbey today with DH, DS1 (4) and DS2 (2). It's obviously very hot and DS2 was becoming cranky so we came out of the abbey and headed for a little tea room in the village. Sat down with cakes and drinks and DS became more agitated with the heat and started crying. I tried to pacify him but he became more and more upset so DH and I took it in turns to comfort him whilst also trying to each our lunch. It didn't help that the tea room was an old stone building so the cries were magnified and echoing.

Anyway an old couple stood up and started to leave having evidently not touched their lunch. The waiter said to them "are you leaving already? Is there a problem with the food?" So the old woman said "no but we came in here to relax and it's hardly a relaxing atmosphere unfortunately". The waiter replied "I'm so sorry about the noise" and shot us the most evil glare.

DH became agitated and embarrassed saying we should just leave but the alternative was to take DS outside where it was even hotter where he would have cried and screamed even more! I told DH we should just stay and finish our lunch and try and get DS to drink. Anyway eventually he started drifting off to sleep but then a loud noise woke him up with a start and he began screaming. At this point a younger woman slammed her cup down and snapped "for gods sake!". Her husband looked embarrassed and told her to "just leave it" to which she replied "I can't, the racket is giving me a headache! So much for peace and quiet!"

She shot me a look so I said "I'm sorry, he's obviously hot and bothered, it's not exactly relaxing for us either but it's even hotter outside so I'm not sure what you expect me to do?". She seemed to soften up and replied "no, I'm sorry, it's just that people come in here to relax and the noise is deafening, everyone is leaving for that's reason! Can't you take him for a walk or something?" shock.

Anyway I said "no sorry, as I said it's hotter outside and my other child is still finishing his lunch". With that DH overheard the waiter apologising to customers coming in about the noise. Afterwards DH said I was selfish and we should have just left but I'm not sure what anyone expected me to do! It was 32 degrees outside, he was crying because he was hot! Taking him back outside would have made him much worse and there were people "relaxing" out there too so surely we'd have ended up in more bother?!

Sunnymorningwithbacon Mon 19-Jun-17 18:15:25

You were being massively unreasonable.

And entitled.

Yoy should have gone outside.

DawnOfTheMombie Mon 19-Jun-17 18:16:38


One of you could have taken DS outside and one of you stay with the child still eating. Hardly rocket science is it?

harderandharder2breathe Mon 19-Jun-17 18:16:53

I have to wonder why you would choose take small children on day trips to places like that on such hot days. You know they'll be hot and bothered, much better to stay home with a paddling pool

I think one of you should've taken him out rather than let him scream the place down.

MacarenaFerreiro Mon 19-Jun-17 18:17:11

God, we've all been there with an overtired and overheated toddler.

But when you've two adults you eat in shifts - one takes grumpy child out to pacify them, or at least get them out of earshot of the other customers. Then you swap. It's common courtesy.

Nobody wants to eat their lunch listening to a tantrumming toddler. YABU.

DontTouchTheMoustache Mon 19-Jun-17 18:17:18

I think I probably would have just taken them home, it can't have been enjoyable for anyone by that point. I think sometimes you have to cut your losses

PurpleDaisies Mon 19-Jun-17 18:17:27

I agree, you should have left. At the very least you should have been apologetic about the noise.

ShinyGirl Mon 19-Jun-17 18:17:32

I'm cringing for you. Of course you should have taken him out. He's 2 not a tiny newborn

OtAndBothered Mon 19-Jun-17 18:17:38

But it was too hot for him outside, this is the whole point! And there was nowhere I could have cooled him down!

LedaP Mon 19-Jun-17 18:17:40

Is this a reverse?

Yabu. Really unreasonable. What possessed you?

Sunnymorningwithbacon Mon 19-Jun-17 18:17:53

Why would you go out to something like that today?

LedaP Mon 19-Jun-17 18:18:19

Did the hot weather take you by surprise?

afinetoothcomb Mon 19-Jun-17 18:18:26

Why on earth would you take 2 young children to an Abbey on what was expected to be one of the hottest days of the year. YABU for that alone.

fiorentina Mon 19-Jun-17 18:18:33

You were being very selfish. Sorry you couldn't have a nice meal but you should have taken it in turns to take him outside. It may have been hot but you have ruined other people's meals.

LumelaMme Mon 19-Jun-17 18:18:40

In that situation, one of you stays to eat with the other child and the other one goes out and finds somewhere quiet and shady with the screamer. Then, when the parent who stayed inside has finished, you swap over.

Noise outdoors doesn't reverberate the way it does inside. I can quite see why other people were pissed off.

And no, I'm not a child-hater. I've had several of my own (one of whom I took out of a wedding when she started to fuss), and I have quite a high threshold for child noise, but a toddler howling in a cafe in just not fair on the other customers.

Crashbangwhatausername Mon 19-Jun-17 18:18:50

It does sound pretty bad, but taking children on a day out in heat like today would only ever end up like this. But we all make mistakes, paddling pool at home tomorrow, everyone will have been hot and bothered so it does make things worse

Sunnymorningwithbacon Mon 19-Jun-17 18:19:07

Could you not have thought to stay at home then?

Your choice to take them out today you deal with the consequences. That's YOU DEAL WITH. not inflict on everyone else.

Floggingmolly Mon 19-Jun-17 18:19:17

You actually told the people whose lunch you were disturbing that you didn't know what they expected you to do?? Some people... hmm
It being 32° is a complete red herring; you knew how hot it was when you decided to take the kids out in the first place, surely?

Iloveanimals Mon 19-Jun-17 18:19:19

When my ds did this I always took him outside. Even if it meant leaving my lunch. Understand its frustrating but it's not fair on other people.

DontTouchTheMoustache Mon 19-Jun-17 18:19:32

He would probably have been cooler outside Inn some shade than a stuffy tea room tbh, at least then there is a breeze

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair Mon 19-Jun-17 18:19:38

YANBU - been there with a hot baby and a full plate of food in front of me. I ate it and tried to calm the baby. Of course by the time I'd finished and was ready to leave she was completely settled and I was frazzled.

waitforitfdear Mon 19-Jun-17 18:19:44

What were you thinking taking a 2 year old to a nat trust property in this heat? He's 2!!

You were massively unreasonable to stay put when he was tantrumming in a cafe.

We have all been there but he's your responsibility and it wasn't soft play! You should have taken him outside or had a picnic pscked to eat in the shade.

Redglitter Mon 19-Jun-17 18:20:03

Totally unreasonable. I'm surprised the staff didn't ask you to leave if you were losing them.customers

HTK Mon 19-Jun-17 18:20:20

Obviously you take him out for a walk in the shade. Unless the cafe was in the Namibian desert, there would have been a shady spot a few metres away.

I'm not one to stick the boot in on mumsnet but really? It's completely obvious that you don't sit and enjoy a leisurely lunch whilst your toddler loses it.

SquatBetty Mon 19-Jun-17 18:20:31

Very, very selfish of you. I'd have given you evils too!

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