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AIBU?

To think you don't take your dog to shit in a graveyard?

137 replies

IdentityYetToBeDiscovered · 19/06/2017 15:07

Tending baby's grave yesterday and notice a woman walk into the cemetery with a dog. Don't think much of it then notice that she is walking through the graves close to DD's stopping 6ft away, so her dog can take a dump. She just stands there with a smile on her face as her dog does it then starts clawing the grass right on an unmarked grave. When I challenge her she says 'sorry but these people are gone, and it doesn't matter'. She then walks off through the cemetery and leaves at the top obviously not come in to tend any grave just for her dog to shit. She made a great show of picking it up in front of me but still!

OP posts:
MissHavishamsleftdaffodil · 19/06/2017 15:11

Argh I'm sorry Flowers Well done for not clocking her.

Who's responsible for maintenance of the cemetery? May be worth reporting it and seeing if a no dogs sign can go up.

Stopnamechanging · 19/06/2017 15:12

Are dogs allowed there? Our local one allows dogs in the basis that they want more people coming it to keep an eye on it.

She cleared it up but I can understand why you felt upset by it, I think that I would have been too.

Dawndonnaagain · 19/06/2017 15:16

Ours allows dogs and has a sign requesting mess be cleared. Dogs have little control and go where they go. She did clean it up. I do try to make sure that if mine goes in the cemetery, it's on the edge of the path and not near a grave, and obviously always clean up.
I do understand your distress, but unfortunately, dogs making a mess is a fact of life.

Nikephorus · 19/06/2017 15:30

People do visit graveyards without tending to graves so you can't assume she was there solely to give her dog a nice place to go. They're peaceful places, you can think about the people who've been buried there, it can be somewhere to get away.
And you can't tell a dog to cross its legs. It doesn't work like that. She picked up after it. Not pleasant when you've a grave there but...
The smile is weird (but could be her feeling embarrassed because when your dog goes somewhere you'd rather not you do cringe and wish the earth would swallow you up). I wouldn't let my dog go clawing graves - that's the only issue I'd have. Well, that & coming near me when she had the whole place to choose from.

Juliancopescat · 19/06/2017 15:48

Huh? I thought you were going to say she didn't clean up after her dog. People often walk around grave yards without tending a particular grave. It's an important public space in my opinion. I love walking around graveyards and looking at all the dates and names and types of gravestones. (might be a bit weird but definitely not unusual). With kindness op I think you're being overly sensitive because of your personal circumstances. If you're viewing it as a legitimate place for the public to walk then some would have dogs and some not (although in fairness I haven't ever taken a dog into a graveyard)

Clalpolly · 19/06/2017 16:03

I'd have left her to it and had a little karmic fantasy about someone shitting on her grave. At least she cleared it up.
I agree. Not very nice.

MonkeylovesRobot · 19/06/2017 16:05

"sorry but these people are gone, and it doesn't matter"

This was horrible and spiteful of her.

I personally don't see a problem with dogs in graveyards, as long as they are not pooping on actual graves and their owner picks up their poop. You cannot predict when or where your dog is going need to poo.

Scrumpernickel · 19/06/2017 16:07

As long as she cleaned up after the dog I don't think it's an issue. Although the graveyard clearly is a special place to you as the resting place for your baby so I can see you would view it differently.

Scrumpernickel · 19/06/2017 16:08

And when a dog wants to go they want to go right then and there.

MonkeylovesRobot · 19/06/2017 16:10

"right then and there."

Yes. My dog doesn't get the concept of "holding it".

Flyinggeese · 19/06/2017 16:13

I can't believe some of these replies! People think it's ok for dogs to crap Iin graveyards? Even if it's going to be cleaned up, I see that as a huge sign of disrespect.

Viserion · 19/06/2017 16:14

I am sorry for your loss.

There are footpaths through a number of our local graveyards, which lead from roadside to fields. My dog has never defaecated in one because she usually waits until she is off lead, but I can't guarantee she would never do it. And the scuffing is normal canine behaviour, you can't stop them, if they are an individual who does this.

Out of curiosity, what did 'making a great show of clearing up' look like?

MonkeylovesRobot · 19/06/2017 16:14

"People think it's ok for dogs to crap Iin graveyards? "

Yes, cats poop in them and that's not cleared up. And wild animals also poop in them too.

Scrumpernickel · 19/06/2017 16:19

It's not a disrespect thing, it's a dog thing and they don't really understand the concept.

IdentityYetToBeDiscovered · 19/06/2017 16:21

The issue I had was that instead of walking on the massive path running through the cemetery, she deliberately walked onto the childrens section walking through the graves and right next to us so her dog could crap. Whether she picked it up or not, that's extremely disrespectful when people are tending a child's grave. She actually first said in broken English, 'they are underneath in the dark' when I said bringing her dog into a graveyard to crap was disrespectful she then said they are gone its doesn't matter then shrugged. Obviously she is not alone in having disgusting manners if PPs think this is OK. There is a no dogs allowed sign, saw it afterwards. DH was going to tip the bucket of water we were using to water DDs plants with over her. Shame he didn't Angry.

OP posts:
Scrumpernickel · 19/06/2017 16:26

Well if there's a no dogs sign she certainly should have abided by that.

LaurieFairyCake · 19/06/2017 16:32

Your dh can't assault her because she flouted a 'no dogs' sign !

agedknees · 19/06/2017 16:34

Yanbu. I have a dog. There are loads of places more appropriate to dog walk. What she did was disrespectful.

Flyinggeese · 19/06/2017 16:37

Monkey yes and gulls crap on war monuments too but it doesn't mean someone in control of a dog should allow their dog to do it. Daft analogy.

Nikephorus · 19/06/2017 16:39

I'd assumed that the grass-clawing was separate to the crapping but if it's actually the thing they do after toileting then (as a PP took it as being) then that's different - it's a dog thing.
Maybe she hadn't seen the sign? You hadn't straight away.
I don't think assaulting someone is a particularly good idea - and not very respectful to the dead either.

TheWitTank · 19/06/2017 16:40

Fuck me, what a nasty, inconsiderate thing to say! Surely she noticed you were tending a grave?!

BigGapMum · 19/06/2017 16:42

I agree OP. It's not on.

It is disrespectful of the dog owner to walk a dog around a graveyard with the sole intention of using it as a dog toilet. I wouldn't like to think of dogs pooing on my grave after I'm gone, nor on the grave of a loved one.
For the OP who was tending her baby's grave to be told that " these people are gone, and it doesn't matter" is disgraceful.
I do agree with the people who have said that it's not the dogs' fault and they are exhibiting natural dog behaviour. The fault lies solely with the dog owner, who takes their dog to a graveyard knowing that it's going to poo there.
Flowers for you OP.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 19/06/2017 16:44

I cut through a beautiful village cemetery every week. Always half a dozen dogs in there!! Find it hard to believe in a lovely scenic village that a place of such importance is the chosen place to let your dog have a poo!! It even has a sign made by my dd school to remind people the poo fairy isn't real so take your poo home!
Imo keep your dogs out would be more appropriate!

IfeelFloopy · 19/06/2017 16:54

No dogs are allowed in the cemetery where my Dad is. I would feel the same as OP. I do wonder how people would feel if it was their own loved ones plot they saw a dog take a dump on.

MonkeylovesRobot · 19/06/2017 16:55

" someone in control of a dog should allow their dog to do it. "

My dog is always under control, however I don't have control of his bowels. Not a crap analogy at all. You cannot dictate when I animal needs to use the bathroom.

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