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AIBU to be pissed off at DP?

(44 Posts)
Maddogs Sun 18-Jun-17 17:24:23

So it's Father's Day! We have done the gifts, meal out etc.

I have 2 bored children at home now. DD (6) & DSS (10). DSS is playing on his Xbox with friends (through some head set thingy). DD wants to play with him. No he says, in ten minutes. Fair enough, after some scootering, make believe kitchen and mooching about she asks again (now been half an hour).

No says DSS. DP now intervened and said play for half an hour. Ten minutes later he isn't back on his Xbox. So DD asks to play with him. Again No angry

I said to DP I was annoyed because if DSS didn't want to play he should have said no. Not in ten minutes (repeatedly). DD has had a massive crying fit because 'no one wants her'. DP has gone to lie down because he is tired,and I've been left to deal with both of themangry

Also I listened to DP snore all bloody night while I was up with DD who had a upset tum, had an accident and wee'd all over me at half three and a puppy who woke me at 5.30!!! I'm bloody knackered.

Sorry for the length of this but im pissed off. Is it me or him?

Maddogs Sun 18-Jun-17 17:25:09

Is not isn't on his Xbox

Pollydonia Sun 18-Jun-17 17:28:30

It's hot, it's father's day and your dss doesn't want to be bothered with his little sister. Not either adults fault IMO.

NC4now Sun 18-Jun-17 17:30:02

It's no-one's fault. It's just family life, I reckon.

Columbine1 Sun 18-Jun-17 17:30:58

Go for a walk with DD this get icecream smile

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 18-Jun-17 17:32:06

Do you have the authority to say, "DDS, either let her play or stop playing". Because if you don't, DH should be dealing with it.

Cupcakegirl13 Sun 18-Jun-17 17:32:12

Why have you been out for a meal if you DD has an upset tummy ?

Nocabbageinmyeye Sun 18-Jun-17 17:35:23

"either let her play or stop playing" shock DSS is not there is entertain the dd!! How about dd learn to play alone. I'd be annoyed with the dd, what has your dp done that's so bad exactly, besides have a lie down on Father's day

Maddogs Sun 18-Jun-17 17:40:42

Already booked with GP's so she still wanted to go. She ate some chips. I'm not sure if she feels unwell because it's so hot and my mother fed her an entire punnet of strawberries and chocolate yesterday!

No I dont feel like I can discipline DSD and I did ask DP to get up off the sofa and sort it several times. He couldn't be bothered really and then went to bed!

Yes it probably is normal family life but I don't feel like DP does his fair share of the parenting side. He likes to play football, treat him etc. I think it's because we are in a EOW and one night in the week. He wants him to enjoy himself. But it's hard when it feels like one set of rules for one...

Maddogs Sun 18-Jun-17 17:41:30

GP's - grandparents not doctor! Lol

RJnomore1 Sun 18-Jun-17 17:42:43

So what's the 10 year old supposed to have done wrong?

Maddogs Sun 18-Jun-17 17:43:13

DD does play alone usually very well. But when DSS is here she enjoys having someone to play with. I appreciate that he will not always want to! It was the ambiguity of promising later with no intention of doing so that caused the upset.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 18-Jun-17 17:44:15

DSS is not there is entertain the dd!! Then he shouldn't have said that she could play in 10 minutes. It's not the playing with her or not, it's him saying something and not following through.

Maddogs Sun 18-Jun-17 17:45:21

Exactly mrspratchett you hit the nail on the head!

Nocabbageinmyeye Sun 18-Jun-17 17:49:19

He is 10 ffs sounds like princess 6 year old needs to be taught to entertain herself, by an adult not a 10 year old

Smallangryplanet Sun 18-Jun-17 17:51:26

Dss has done nothing wrong. Although the title suggests your annoyed at your DP, your post complains about your DSS which doesn't seem fair. Sounds like normal family nonsense otherwise, ten yos like Xboxes.

My. DS doesn't always want to play with his cousin, they are the same ages as your DSS and DD. DD is old enough to entertain herself. I don't expect my DS to babysit his younger cousins by playing with them. If he wants too that's lovely.

Birdsgottaf1y Sun 18-Jun-17 17:51:43

Does he feel that he can say No outright when she asks to play?

He should be able to. The age difference in play between a ten year old and six is a lot.

Was the nothing that your DD could have done,or you done with her?

The general lack of parenting from your DP should be tackled another day when DSS isn't there and DD is out of earshot.

Smallangryplanet Sun 18-Jun-17 17:56:09

DSS saying in ten mins wasn't the smartest, would it have been ok for him to say no?

Your six year old was being a bit of a pest.

Maddogs Sun 18-Jun-17 17:59:26

She did play by herself. She was scootering and playing kitchen. She is now colouring in. It isn't simply that she enjoys his company. In my opinion he needed to say no not promise later. That is confusing when you are 6.

I am not annoyed with DSS I am annoyed with DP for not sorting it out by asking DSS and then bogging off upstairs when the tears started!

DD is a lone child 70% of the time. She entertains herself and obvs I play with her. Having DSS is always for her exciting because she has a playmate. She isn't a 'princess'

caffeinestream Sun 18-Jun-17 18:00:01

I'm guessing DSS said "in 10 minutes" in the hope that she'd get bored waiting/forget/leave him alone.

When she asked, you should either have got them to play together after the first 10 minutes, or taken her off to do something else so he could play in peace imo.

I don't think DP has done anything wrong going for a nap on Father's Day either tbh. Mums are always encouraged to lie-in or have a nap or send the kids off with dad for a few hours, so he should be allowed to do the same imo.

Maddogs Sun 18-Jun-17 18:00:12

It is not isn't!

Yes a simple no would have been fine.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 Sun 18-Jun-17 18:05:37

DD has caused the problems here, not DP and not DSS.

A ten year old shouldn't have to play with a six year old; the gap is too wide. Okay, he shouldn't have said in ten minutes, but he's ten.

It's also Father's Day, so of course it's fine for DP to go and have a lie down.

You wanted DP to sort it because of DSS, but DSS isn't the problem here, DD is, so you were perfectly able to sort it.

CheshireChat Sun 18-Jun-17 18:11:01

But aren't kids supposed to either take it in turns or share? So it's not actually ok for your DSS to hog the Xbox all the time. But the fact he suggested ten minutes isn't an issue as such as he's quite young as well and may have felt like he's bossing your DD around otherwise.

RebelRogue Sun 18-Jun-17 18:13:19

OP I have a feeling you are getting these replies because it involves a DSS rather thana DS. On any other thread I've seen on here about siblings playing/share it's suggested,you make them play.give consequences for refusal,why is he spending so much time on the xbox etc.

And no YANBU to expect DP to actually parent, instead of going to bed and leaving you to deal with it,after dealing with a sick child all night. If anything you are the one who needed and deserved a nap.

CheshireChat Sun 18-Jun-17 18:13:28

Also aren't you kinda supposed to spend time with your children on Father's Day??

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