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To hate kissing

(31 Posts)
Phillippaa Sat 17-Jun-17 23:06:41

I'm 28 now and this is something I've struggled with all my life.

I absolutely hate kissing. I find it revolting. I hate sharing saliva. It totally grosses me out.

I've had a number of boyfriends since I was 18 but I never felt any romantic love feelings. I remember having to put up with the kissing and just lying motionless during sex. I really enjoy their company but wished me were 'just friends'.

Aged 23 I made a real effort to date a particular guy as I knew he was a great person. I actually dated him for a year but in the end there were no feeling so I ended it.

I'm really lonely. I have a child from a guy I was only with a matter of weeks.

I'm really lonely. I'd absolutely love to have a boyfriend and feel that chemistry/intense sexual feelings everyone else seems to have experienced but I never have.

I'm 28 now and can't believe in 10 years I've never met anyone I've looked at and though 'I'd love to kiss him'.

I can objectively find a man handsome but when he eventually asks me out the attraction goes and once I start kissing him I find it an unpleasant experience.

I'm not asexual as I enjoy the sensation of sex. But not anything romantic. I just close my eyes. It could be anyone having sex with me.

I cannot relate to romantic movies. I can't relate to any couples. I know people fall in love but it's something I can't think I will ever experience.

I don't think there's a deeper issue here.

I had a great childhood, lovely friends, a wonderful career. I've always felt like this.

I hate kissing/sex/anything sexual.

The only thing I enjoy is doing fri bad things like watching tv.

I'd love a boyfriend that I never had to kiss or have sex with. So a friend basically! I desire to feel that romantic love and have a sexual relationship but I've never experienced those feelings.

Am I incredibly unusual?

AIBU to just accept this and not think there's anything 'wrong' with me?

Phillippaa Sat 17-Jun-17 23:08:44

*friend not fri bad

CaoNiMartacus Sat 17-Jun-17 23:10:18

Do you find women attractive at all? I was the way you describe until I discovered that lesbianism was a thing.

Phillippaa Sat 17-Jun-17 23:12:09

I've never even considered I might be lesbian.

Phillippaa Sat 17-Jun-17 23:12:55

I don't think I feel sexual attraction to women. I've never thought of it. I find women more strikingly attractive than men.

But I don't know if I get a desire to have sex with one.

notknownatthisaddress Sat 17-Jun-17 23:12:55

Not massively common to be like this, but not weird or uneard of...................

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn Sat 17-Jun-17 23:13:19

"I hate kissing/sex/anything sexual."

I'd say this sounds like you could be asexual. Nothing wrong with that if thats how you feel. I imagine there are like minded men who may also wanted companionship and not the sexual side of a relationship.

Phillippaa Sat 17-Jun-17 23:13:23

I don't think I'm asexual.

I have a strong sex drive. I just don't connect with the guys I'm with. I have to close my eyes.

NellieFiveBellies Sat 17-Jun-17 23:13:52

i am the same. i hate kissing. the idea of a tongue in my mouth makes my stomach churn. actually churn.

i dont want someone's saliva in my mouth.

i have been married for nearly 20 years. he doesnt like tongues in his mouth either.

your people are indeed out there 😁

BossyBitch Sat 17-Jun-17 23:13:53

Asexuality exists. I'm not at all an expert, but you might want to read up on it and see of you check the boxes.

Phillippaa Sat 17-Jun-17 23:13:59

But I definitely have a longing for a sexual and romantic relationship.

It's just I've not met a man that does anything for me.

notknownatthisaddress Sat 17-Jun-17 23:14:06

*unheard, not uneard........... (sorry.)

BossyBitch Sat 17-Jun-17 23:15:28

Sorry, x-post. There are definitely also people who consider themselves aromantic, though, so not necessarily completely unheard of.

Phillippaa Sat 17-Jun-17 23:17:03

My circumstances are really strange I think.

There's a london for a sexual relationship but I've literally never ever met anyone I want to have sex with/kiss.

Unicornsandrainbows3 Sat 17-Jun-17 23:20:17

I hate it too, can't even watch kissing scenes on TV without it turning my stomach. But my issue stems from abuse so it's easily explained. It doesn't sound like that's the case for you?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sat 17-Jun-17 23:20:26

Kissing with someone you don't fancy IS gross,you have to have the chemistry there for it all to work properly. I wouldn't write yourself off just yet.

Phillippaa Sat 17-Jun-17 23:23:23

Maybe I will meet someone who i get that spark with. I'm not hopeful though!

Havalina Sat 17-Jun-17 23:33:24

I would certainly consider that you might be gay. For me Id say the kissing is the most important thing. It's so odd though, the only man I loved, could turn me on completely with a kiss.

Once the relationship broke down wasnt the same kissing him. Its deffo a mental thing, a desire thing.

If you have never desired a man, maybe open the possibility in your mind of desiring a woman.

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 17-Jun-17 23:33:53

When other people kiss, on TV for example, does it turn you on?

Phillippaa Sat 17-Jun-17 23:43:48

No kissing doesn't turn me on.

Phillippaa Sat 17-Jun-17 23:43:54

Watching it that is

hollieberrie Sat 17-Jun-17 23:45:49

I'm a bit like this. I hardly ever fancy anyone and the thought of kissing most people makes me....envy
I did have a longish relationship with a woman who i kissed all the time. But she left and since then despite my best efforts... nothing. No attraction for anyone at all.
You could be bi possibly? Women are nicer to kiss than men , IMO. Might be worth considering.

BreconBeBuggered Sat 17-Jun-17 23:47:10

You don't sound asexual and I don't think you necessarily need to wonder if you're gay. You could be, of course, but if you've never experienced the kind of chemistry that makes you positively melt when THAT person is kissing you, then maybe you just have to wait. Some kisses can be disappointing for both people, for no discernible reason, even when you find each other attractive. We're complicated creatures.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Sat 17-Jun-17 23:47:36

I'm with you re kissing. I hate it too. I really don't see the point. I don't find it a turn on at all. I like heterosexual sex but not kissing.

So far as kissing a woman or touching or being touched by a another women sexually - absolutely not.

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 17-Jun-17 23:49:01

Women are nicer to kiss than men , IMO. Well that very much depends grin

Have you ever kissed a woman OP?

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