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To think my friend was fucking rude?

(51 Posts)
Mymoonandstarsx Sat 17-Jun-17 09:20:04

Friend asked me out for dinner. Met after work. We go to the restaurant and she wants to move tables to be near a plug socket to charge her phone.

(Backstory she's been with boyfriend six years, constantly break up and get back together and he's cheated on her multiple times)

We start eating main course with her constantly texting him and getting worked up. We order dessert.

Whilst waiting she calls him on the phone at least 3 times shouting and crying etc .., it's very embarrassing and I was just sat there staring into space for 20 minutes.

I then snapped and asked to cancel the desserts and paid and told her we were leaving. Aibu?

BigApple11 Sat 17-Jun-17 09:22:53

YANBU

GhostByrd Sat 17-Jun-17 09:24:15

Did you ask her what was the matter, why was she crying?

cariadlet Sat 17-Jun-17 09:25:02

What an awful evening. She's obviously having a tough time, but that's no excuse for her rude behaviour: inviting you out, ignoring you and embarrassing you.

Next time she suggests getting together you'd be better off either meeting at your place or hers or just giving her the brush off.

ElspethFlashman Sat 17-Jun-17 09:25:40

I think the whole restaurant probably heard exactly why she was crying, since she was shouting.....

Id be very cool with her for a while.

Botanicbaby Sat 17-Jun-17 09:26:02

YANBU

I've had this before. Felt like I'd wasted an evening as had only been asked out to be a distraction for her relationship 'issues' rather than enjoy time catching up with a friend.

Writerwannabe83 Sat 17-Jun-17 09:26:32

You don't sound like a very sympathetic friend.

I've got one like this.....goes out with a guy who causes her heartbreak after heartbreak, they split up and get back together all the time and it's infuriating BUT as her friend, I'm always there to listen and support and give her a hug when she's crying.

I can see why you might be annoyed but I think you were a little bit harsh.

Quartz2208 Sat 17-Jun-17 09:26:43

I agree with Ghostbyrd did you actually ask her what was wrong.

If she was just checking her phone yes that is very rude but the shouting and crying means that something was wrong surely rather than seeing it as embarrassing you could have asked if she was ok

GhostByrd Sat 17-Jun-17 09:26:47

Sounds like she might need help, that's all.

MrsLion Sat 17-Jun-17 09:26:50

YANBU. Especially if your friend is over 15.

Aeroflotgirl Sat 17-Jun-17 09:26:51

This type of thing is quite regular it seems and she's on off with this guy, I can imagine it's quite wearing for you hearing the latest drama from her constantly. Yanbu at all, very rude and would keep that friendship in the distance.

MadameJosephine Sat 17-Jun-17 09:27:10

TBH I think if my friend was upset and crying I'd be more concerned about her than whether she was ruining my meal

Aeroflotgirl Sat 17-Jun-17 09:30:12

I gather you would be sympathetic at first, but if this is a regular thing, which it certainly sounds as though it is, and you have been hearing this drama for the last 6 years, your patience wears very thin.

Aeroflotgirl Sat 17-Jun-17 09:30:49

I would certainly be keeping my distance from her tbh.

Mymoonandstarsx Sat 17-Jun-17 09:32:07

I knew why and I told her he was lying to get a reaction and then turns out I was right.

I'm a very sympathetic friend, six years I've sat, listened and given advice ... she's even lived at mine during some of the breakups.

But you know what sometimes you can preach that you are the perfect friend but everyone has a breaking point.

HildaOg Sat 17-Jun-17 09:34:17

I would have left her there shouting to herself. If really hungry moved to a table at the other side of the restaurant.

She was very rude and making a show of herself. She's trying to drag everyone into her drama because it's the only way people like that can get attention. The way to deal with them is ignore, move, carry on elsewhere. Don't be a spectator. The performance is for the spectators.

Aeroflotgirl Sat 17-Jun-17 09:35:00

I agree mymoon, its very tiring and wearing, and the breaking point was this behaviour in the restaurant, like she wanted the drama and to draw attention to herself. She could have answered the phone in a quite spot, or told boyfriend she is out for a meal and call back later.

ElspethFlashman Sat 17-Jun-17 09:37:20

I wouldn't mind but it was a performance you had to PAY to sit through!

ElspethFlashman Sat 17-Jun-17 09:37:54

What was her reaction when you said you were leaving?

RebootYourEngine Sat 17-Jun-17 09:41:12

I have this with my sister. I love her to pieces but there is only so many times you can be sympathetic over the same shit.

Crumbs1 Sat 17-Jun-17 09:43:35

Sounds like an attention seeking drama queen. I'd find a new friend who knew acceptable standards of behaviour in public.

FrancisCrawford Sat 17-Jun-17 09:44:17

She was totally rude.

Sounds like this friendship is one way, with her dictating alll the shots and you being expected to provide endless support.

Nobody wants to sit and eat a meal with her histrionics going on at the next table. She should have had the common manners to take her drama outside instead of inflicting it on everyone.

ifcatscouldtalk Sat 17-Jun-17 09:48:35

In a restaurant? I wouldn't accept that sort of show down off a teenager when having a meal out. She must of known how upset she felt beforehand and could of apologised and cancelled. Tbh I used to have a friend from school years and we stayed in touch till our early thirties. After numerous meet ups and many a visits of me sitting like a spare part whilst her mobile was stuck to her ear whilst dealing with another​ love life drama I decided not to bother anymore. There's no question mark over if this was rude of her, this is incredibly bad mannered.

eddielizzard Sat 17-Jun-17 09:51:17

no. totally unacceptable. i think it's really rude to be on your phone when out with friends anyway and i hate it when my friends do it. i don't do it.

Mymoonandstarsx Sat 17-Jun-17 09:56:40

She must of known how upset she felt beforehand and could of apologised and cancelled

It was a last minute discision. I left work and she rang me and asked if I wanted to meet up

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