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so sad

(4 Posts)
candygs Fri 16-Jun-17 15:57:52

I am a widow, I have 3 sons, they are thoughtful and loving to me and I see them frequently. My middle son is 37 he is a recovering alcoholic, 9 years sober, since getting into recovery he has retrained in a new career very successfully, met a lovely girl, had a son (5 years old), 2 years ago they bought their first house. In March of this year he told me that he was horribly depressed, he was tearful and admitted he had thoughts of self harm, saying that his son deserved a better dad, I was so worried and offered to pay for private counselling ( I paid for his rehab and ongoing counselling) he was so grateful and started counselling straight away, he seemed to be doing well. I tried to give his partner support, she was amazing even though it must have been so hard for her, he was going to AA meetings every night apart from the nights he went to counselling.

He has just rung me to say that he and my lovely, lovely DIL are going to separate, that he hasn't loved her for years and that he has stayed for his son, my wonderful little Grandson. He says that if he stays he will drink again and he knows where that will lead. He is very sad and says he will do everything he can to make this as easy as he can for both my DIL and my Grandson. He denies there is another woman saying "I would never do that to DIL" I do believe him.

I have spoken to my DIL she says they are still great friends, I feel so, so sad and can hardly say her name without breaking down, I look at the photo's I have of them and of my gorgeous Grandson and the tears start again.

I don't know what I want from this post, just feel so sad, so sorry.

Chocolatecake12 Fri 16-Jun-17 16:01:40

The end of a relationship is always sad. In time you will come to accept it and if they continue to be great friends then your relationships with your son, your Dil and your grandson will of course change but will be fine.
Take some time to talk to friends in RL if you can.
Your son is very brave to have turned his life around once, he is doing the right thing fir him and his family. You must be very proud.

Gottagetmoving Fri 16-Jun-17 16:06:18

Yes, be proud of both your son and dil.
Your son is doing what he feels is right for them all. Just be there for them and help them move forward.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Fri 16-Jun-17 16:16:38

My ds and dil split last year. Gs wasnt a year old. Ds has some anger issues that were ignored and things got messy. Fast forward a year. . They are doing great apart. Gs is thriving between 2 homes and my house. I have continued to remain impartial and focus on keeping things on a even keel for all of us. They all still need you! You sound like a fantastic support to them.

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