Advanced search

WIBU to name my daughter my cousin's name, when my aunt doesn't want me to?

(211 Posts)
PartyPooper16 Fri 16-Jun-17 01:57:58

Not looking for opinions on the name.

My daughter is due in 3 weeks and we both absolutely love Madison/Maddie.

My cousin is called Maddison/Maddie. She is now almost 12. She has ASD and my aunt thinks she will struggle with the idea of them having the same name.

We are all really close and I'd hate for this to come between us, but we really can't agree on any other name and just love it.

My aunt has said "do what you want, but I honestly would rather you didn't".


Orangebird69 Fri 16-Jun-17 02:00:41

I wouldn't do it. How about Madeleine instead?

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 Fri 16-Jun-17 02:02:25

There are hundreds upon thousands of names out there; you can't seriously be saying you can't find ONE other that you both like.

She's not telling you you can't use it, she's politely saying it would cause an issue if you did. You should listen to her and not be selfish.

RobinHumphries Fri 16-Jun-17 02:05:31

I wouldn't especially if you are as close as you say because it gets confusing for all the relatives. It happened with my family that a cousin was say Christine and my brother Christopher shortened to Chris. All fine and good until Christine decided she wanted to be known as Chris.... leads to lots of misunderstanding.

PartyPooper16 Fri 16-Jun-17 02:06:17

@WhatToDoAboutThis2017 - if I was selfish, I wouldn't even bother asking, would I? I'm clearly asking because I don't want to do the wrong thing, but equally, I don't want to end up with a name we just don't love as much.

@Orangebird69 - we thought about Madeleine, but we both pronounce it differently, so it was ruled out. Thank you though.

AlmostAJillSandwich Fri 16-Jun-17 02:07:29

She is being unreasonable. There are thousands of people in the world named Maddie, she's going to meet another one at some point in her life.

PartyPooper16 Fri 16-Jun-17 02:07:37

@RobinHumphries - I have the same name as one of my other aunts! We have always been close and it never caused an issue smile

Thank you for the opinions.

SheSaidHeSaid Fri 16-Jun-17 02:09:11

Im usually one who thinks you should name your child what you want but I actually think I'd find another name in this case. Your cousin has been nice about it and very reasonable so you should make some form of effort to be reasonable bad.

Why not use it as a middle name? That way it's be a nice little link and bond between the two girls?

SheSaidHeSaid Fri 16-Jun-17 02:09:52

Back, not bad. Silly autocorrect.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 Fri 16-Jun-17 02:09:58

I haven't called you selfish. I said "and not BE selfish". By calling her that name you WOULD be being selfish.

You haven't called it her yet so you are not yet selfish.

ladyme Fri 16-Jun-17 02:10:17

I wouldn't.

My daughter's 10 and doesn't have ASD. She'd either love or hate the idea and if she hated it, what's the point? You're close, there are loads of other names! If you choose something else within a month of your baby being born she'll be whatever her name is! We didn't call our daughter a name we'd had planned for years for a similar reason and it's completely fine, her name is great! Your aunt sounds like she's being totally reasonable.

PartyPooper16 Fri 16-Jun-17 02:12:19

@WhatToDoAboutThis2017 - fair enough grin

I definitely don't think my aunt is being rude or whatever, she's great and I love her loads.

It's just such a shame! We honestly just struggled to even find a name we agreed on, let alone both love!

BigYellowJumper Fri 16-Jun-17 02:12:42

Normally I'd say she has to get over it, but it is a bit of a different situation, given she has ASD. She did ask politely too, rather than demanding.

esk1mo Fri 16-Jun-17 02:13:59

i wouldnt, YABU.

there are similar names out there, or names in the same sort of genre. what about:

Harper, Harley. Harriet, Robyn, Willow, Matilda, Millie, Sofia, Luna, Lily, Amelia, Penelope, Florence, Layla, Lilja, Maja (j's pronounced like Y's),

Those are all pretty girl names similar IMO

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 Fri 16-Jun-17 02:23:54

Yes it is a shame. But your cousin is called it so you'll always be around it smile

TheLaughingGnome Fri 16-Jun-17 02:24:21

we both ended up calling our daughter a name we both thought was "all right" - we're both from big families, a difficult surname and had accents etc to think of as well as each other's opinion. I sometimes wish we'd called her something else, but rarely think of it!

Freyanna Fri 16-Jun-17 02:43:08

I would find another name.

Plunkette Fri 16-Jun-17 02:43:49

Well no one owns a name but I'm slightly surprised that any current family name would even be on your list.

You are free to do as you please but personally I'd want my Maddie to be the only Maddie.

I wouldn't want her to be known as "Little Maddie" for the rest of her life and I certainly wouldn't want my beautiful new baby's name to cause a family issues when she's only a few days old.

anchor9 Fri 16-Jun-17 03:00:03

if rhey are present in your regular lives then yes tbqh i think you are being U . i think that is unfair on the existing Maddie and unnecessary.

kazza106 Fri 16-Jun-17 03:02:57

Uabu. So many lovely names put there. The only exception I can think of is if this is a name that you in mind for years.....I bet it's not though!

LellyMcKelly Fri 16-Jun-17 03:07:24

How about Adeline? Then you have Adie, or Allie, Della, or even Lina if you want to shorten it. Also. It's still quite unusual, and very pretty.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Fri 16-Jun-17 03:56:03

Don't do it. You'll upset your cousin and your aunt and I doubt your daughter will like being "the other Maddie" for the rest of her life.

beepbeepimasheep Fri 16-Jun-17 04:14:13

It'd be selfish to do it really and the fact that you are asking seems to suggest that you know this; I'd think of a different name.

MidsummerMoo Fri 16-Jun-17 04:19:29

Whilst I think it would be an odd/unfair thing to do, I'm surprised at the number of people saying so when the reverse situation ('my niece wants to use my daughter's name') is normally 'suck it up'.

kateandme Fri 16-Jun-17 04:37:50

I look like I'm the only one but I wouldnt think it will be a huge will seem more so now.but the actual time your together with the cousins it wont seem anything.
my mum and her cousin were liz and she gets called big lizzie little lizzie and they both see it as endearing.and the two of them together form a type of gang when we meet up and its lovely.they form a right mischevious team.
my sister has the same name as our cousin too and its never come up.there is like your enough of an age gap too so paths never cross in a way it will be a problem.
your cousin will meet people in life with the same name as etc.
saying that I can see it from other pp's point of view too and your aunts.but in the long run I think it would be ok if you are so set and love only this name.
a name is really special so I can see how it must feel that you love this one.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: