Help me out here mn, are my parents being assholes or am I being a hormonal mess?
History - I don't have a good relationship with my parents, usually better with my dad than my mum but contact is limited. They had me when they where 17 and made no attempt to hide the fact that I was unplanned and unwanted. Here in NI abortion isn't an option but if it was I suspect it would have been used. When I was growing up I was often treated like an inconvenience and basics nurturing just didn't happen. I had a very lonely childhood but thankfully had a wonderful granny who looked after me a lot. They never had any more children.
I'm now 27, happily married with a good job and home. I've just had my first baby and their only grandchild. From my baby has been born I've had no help or support along the way from either set of grandparents. My dh's visit once a week, hold the baby and say how cute she is and give her back. This is where the AIBU begins. My parents regularly rock up unannounced (5 times last week) come into our house without knocking the door. I have a colicky baby who screams from 5-10pm usually and it's always during this period. Last night they did the usual. I had just got the baby settled on my chest in my bedroom with the lights off. Gave her twenty minutes to settle but felt I had to take her down to see them as they'd visitors. She started screaming again. My parents proceeded to start telling me all the things I was doing wrong with her. "Let her cry it out she's just spoilt" "that baby needs a bottle shoved in its mouth" "you can't let her rule you" "you need to get out with her more". My mother took her off me despite the fact that the baby was showing hunger cues and is breastfed. She wouldn't give me her back and proceeded to try and wind her making her scream more. Cue me having a massive breakdown into tears and telling them not to bother coming to visit anymore. Was IBU? This episode has really annoyed me but basically shows the lack of any compassion or parenting skills that I always knew my parents didn't have. Now that I have my own baby I can't believe they treated me the way they did. So what should I do? I am tempted to discontinue all contact with them from now on.
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AIBU?
My parents visit all the time and make me miserable
54 replies
Nurse15 · 13/06/2017 04:55
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